I wrote poetry in High School. I wrote this back then, which is telling of the conflict I was already having with attraction and resistance to females:
I will not let myself be caught
by ignorance that beauty bought.
Cause if I'm pinned,
then I'm chagrinned.
But oh, she goes like velvet wind.
"“My cat doesn’t usually like guys… if my cat likes you then you must be okay.” The lengths females will go to in order to give themselves permission to fuck someone without overtly appearing to be doing so..."