To realize that my need to be valued by women tied into my own self esteem and self importance and is what i was using to measure my life even my success by. Which is negating my human existence to what i can contribute and how i can contribute to the happiness or comfort of a woman. I am being measured by how effectively i can fulfill womens needs in life. And the worst thing is that is how i have been measuring myself. Even when i experience success i cannot feel accomplished if i dont have a woman however misguided to share it with.