46 yr old ex-Army, now public servant (fuck me!) that even sounds like the White Night characteristics I am trying rid myself of. Time will tell I guess. Really shitty time of it at the moment going through separation and hopefully divorce soon. My ultimate dream is to buy a hundred or so acres of land way out in the bush and build a log cabin and retreat from the world. It still seems a long way from possible right now but hope keeps me going.