Simple rules for guys thinking about getting married

[DaveVParticipant 450]

Having gone through a divorce, and having helped others (male and female) who also have gone through the process, I have decided to give young guys some simple rules/guidance/food for thought about getting married in the UK (specifically England).

Feel free to disagree, but these are my views based on my experience and those of at least 15 other guys (25-60), from a wide range of professions, most graduates or skilled people.

I would summarize that regardless of who may be deemed the at fault party between husband/wife, most of the unethical unfairness that occurs in the UK/England family courts occurs because of the misguided law and how the courts interpret it. I will offer some simple suggestions on how to improve it, for both parties. Currently it is too easy for a woman to abuse it, to the detriment of the man.

Remember these simple facts, in the UK.

(1) If you get married, its likely you WILL lose more than 65% of your assets e.g. house, car, pension, stocks/shares etc if the woman decides to walk away (for whatever reason). It doesn’t matter if she was the one having a string of affairs, a drunk, or a drug addict. You will be assumed to be at fault. You will have to prove your innocence…..and this requires you to pay for court time and costs (see point 3)
(2) If you have kids, they will reside with the mother, and you will have to pay for their upkeep until 18, whether you see them or not. (There are exceptions to the rule, but are very rare and YOU have to prove your case). In some cases they can reside with the father, but the woman really has to be a basket case/lost cause for that to happen…and it rarely does. Usually the kids go into care in this instance.
(3) If your wife does not have any assets and no income, YOU will have to pay for her solicitor costs, your solicitor AND the court costs – even though she may have initiated the divorce. The majority of divorces are initiated by the woman (80% here)
(4) With the removal of legal aid (support for low income people), the courts have been asked by the UK government to recover court costs through the parties. Courts have an interest (allegedly) in prolonging cases where the man has assets/money that they can strip off him. Namely, the average working ‘joe’. They do not bother with guys who are in massive debt or have no assets because there is nothing in it for them. Super rich guys, just move abroad and move their assets outside of the UK. In some cases, successful business men use the divorce courts to avoid Capital Gains Tax (which can be as high as 40% ), but these are rare, and usually make the newspapers.
(5) If you marry a single mother, even though you are not the father, and if you/she divorce at a later date, you will have to provide child payments for someone else’s kids – even if she was receiving child payments from their biological father. You will also lose your assets, see point (1). You have to go to court to present your case if you don’t want to pay, BUT you have to pay the court costs and her costs, if she has no income/assets.
(6) If both husband/wife work, and the woman decides to give up work to look after the kids, and you divorce, she can make a claim against you for loss of earnings for having kids plus child maintenance.

Guidance

(A) Think very carefully about getting married in England, if you have assets/good job/house etc. If at a whim, the woman decides to leave, you will be totally screwed financially by her, the legal system and the family courts.
If you have a very low income or are massively in debt, you should be ok, as the courts/solicitors/barristers are unlikely to want pursue the case (and will advise the woman of this), but the main reason is, there is no money in it for them.
(B) NEVER, EVER marry a single mom with kids. The only time you should ever consider it (and even then I would say you are playing with fire), is if the father has custody and he supports them. Then you are back to point (A).
(C) Always use condoms. If you are unfortunate to be told you may be the father, get a paternity test.
(D) You will never meet that rare NAWALT in clubs/bars/nightclubs/strip club or in a brothel lol !
(E) Don’t flash your money or wear expensive stuff – it attracts the wrong sort of woman, and repels the few decent ones. Dress smart and be respectful to all, young and old, man/woman, but know yourself and don’t compromise what you believe in, but also remember, others are entitled to their views, just as much as you are entitled to yours.
(F) No man lost a woman from chasing money/their dreams/working hard. A man does lose money/his career/his happiness chasing women. Trust me, if she wants to be with you, she will hang around. If she doesn’t, nothing you can do will change her mind. You can improve a relationship which has some solid foundations by open dialogue and respect for one another’s needs – BUT it can’t be one sided.
(G) The women you want fun with ARE not the women you should ever marry. And the ones you may marry, probably won’t be the ones you will have as much fun with.
(H) Sadly most English women drink too much, think too highly of themselves, and are very fickle. Feminism may have demanded equality but that equality doesn’t apply in the family courts or in divorce proceedings in the UK.
(I) IF you get married, remember, it’s a opened ended, commercial contract between three parties. The man, the woman, and the State (ie the family court). The family court says it’s only concerned about the welfare of the kids – but in reality, the whole process is stressful, very arduous and a protracted affair (especially if the woman is hateful). The kids will suffer needlessly through this entire process and the courts over complicate things by adding to this burden. It will last years if not a decade.
The courts aim is to make as much money out of the breadwinner/sucker…usually the father. The woman, if hateful, will just want to cause the maximum pain to the man – and make him pay both financially and with access to the kids. The man, has little legal protection, little financial protection….ultimately he is the sucker in all this, and will get royally and totally screwed…for the rest of his life, or until the kids are 18/he becomes homeless and has no assets or moves to another country…but then will never see his kids again.
(J) In England, pre-nups are NOT legally binding and the courts can overturn them, if THEY deem them unfair (not the man/woman getting married, who you think would know what’s in their best interest, and if signing a pre nup, would know what they are getting themselves into). But there is no definition of ‘unfair’ in the law. So basically if there are assets, the courts can strip them from the man. Would you trust the court/legal professional involved, who would make money off those assets stripped, to not act in their self-interest ?

In short, in England, think very very carefully about getting married or getting involved with single moms. Ideally marry a woman much richer than you, then you can ask for half her assets! (and I don’t mean her ass)
Ironically, these laws will actually hurt the successful business women. If they hook up with a bum/lowlife, he could claim half their assets through the same rules…though there haven’t been many cases of that being successful.

If I knew then, what I know now, it’s unlikely I would ever get married. Social conventions / peer pressure actually had a bigger impact on me when I was younger than I realized. You must be married by 30, you must have a house/mortgage, and at least one kid blah blah, married men live longer etc
Well I can tell you one thing, its all BOLLOCKS. Divorced men are registered as single men, and they bring the average age down, because they have been royally shafted. I was fortunate, in that I divorced young and had no assets, and she remarried several years later. I have since paid off my mortgage, have a nice car, cash in the bank, have lots of friends that I like (not her friends), do alot of outdoor activity, go on holidays with who i want, where I want. I do my own cooking, cleaning, etc, i have more female friends than when I was married, but to be honest I am very careful never to fall into the trap of getting married to them. But I also do charity work. Those of my friends who are still married with kids, are miserable, heavily in debt, stressed, and have this drained exhausted look on their faces. The desire to have kids does fade with time.

IMO, the changes that should happen to family law, that could help improve things for EVERYONE are :

(a) It should be mandatory for everyone to have a PRE-NUP before they get married. And it can’t be changed by anyone. The PRE NUP should include kids. You would not sign a commercial contract which had no details on it, equally, if the marriage contract is now has a commercial aspect to it, all specifics must be detailed. it’s fairly simple to do.
(b) Assets/money that both parties have before they get married are EXCLUDED from the divorce ie you can’t claim anything anyone had before the marriage.
(c) No woman is entitled to money/alimony just because they are ‘used’ to a certain lifestyle when they were married. When you were married, the man brought that resource to the marriage and you share it. If you choose to leave, you lose it. You can’t claim something that wasn’t yours to start with, just as the man can’t get access to her…errm…lady bits post-divorce.
(d) Wrt to kids, it should be 50/50 residency by default. that is equality. The state should stay out of peoples personal lives as much as possible. No lawyers should be involved unless necessary. The party wanting them, should pay for them, themselves. That’s equality.
(e) single mom’s should only claim from their biological fathers , end off.
(f) Women, in this day and age, are able to work, get good jobs/salaries. If they decide to take time off work, that’s their decision, not the man’s. The man is not responsible for loss of earnings for her having kids. If she values the money more, DO NOT have kids ..END OFF. The man will pay for the kids IF she stays with him, so he isn’t any better off. That’s equality.
(g) Future earnings cannot be claimed by either party after a divorce. Just because the man may do better because he has divorced, does not entitle the woman to more alimony at a later date. That’s just complete bollocks. That’s like me wanting the salary increases from a job I left years before, because I would have got that, IF I had stayed in that job. I have not earned it, because I left the job. Equally she has not earned it, nor is she a part of his life that helped him get it. Equality is her getting on her own two feet, and paying her own way in the world.
(h) If you marry a woman from another culture/country…do not bring her back to the UK, but live abroad. Once she has residency in the UK, she can screw you just like any local broad.

I have lived and worked in many different countries, and the ‘less developed’ countries, which ironically have less divorces and higher birth rates, do not have the crap we have here. Everything is detailed in the marriage contract, including what each party gets in the event of the divorce, any pre conditions e.g. she/he want several holidays per year, she/he wants to work blah blah. Failure to adhere to these conditions, leads to instant divorce, via a judge, no lawyers are required. The whole proceeding takes a few hours and is fairly quick, cheap and less painful. The only thing that delays issues is getting a court date, which can take 3-5 months. But I have noticed that they tend to have social/cultural conventions that define the roles of father/mother better. Marriage is for providing a safe secure environment for bringing up kids. Don’t want kids, don’t get married seems to be their motto. Plus the courts aren’t a money making scam as much as they are here.

If I decide, and that’s a big IF, to get married again, I would not do it the UK. English girls in cities have become far too much work and due to the legal system here, are too much of a risk, unless you have loads of money or have nothing.

All I can say, is I am happier, freer, have more money and less stress than when I was married, and glad I did it. I wish all people well though, and that they find the path that suits them.

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[Anonymous 42]

Three rules to marriage:

1. load

2. aim

3. fire!

[DaveVParticipant 450]

Very succinct, but sums it up 100% for marriage in the UK if you are an average decent bloke who works.

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[BoarParticipant]

DaveV wrote:

(F) No man lost a woman from chasing money/their dreams/working hard. A man does lose money/his career/his happiness chasing women. Trust me, if she wants to be with you, she will hang around. If she doesn’t, nothing you can do will change her mind. You can improve a relationship which has some solid foundations by open dialogue and respect for one another’s needs – BUT it can’t be one sided.

Brilliant and universal.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

That sure is a long post. Thanks, but I’ll pass on the whole marriage thing. Too complicated.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome to the brother hood

The word marriage makes me physically sick . So stupid to do . Revise laws idiots out there who believe they have snagged a unicorn . Hope you survive the plantation

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Chris1234Participant 353]

I was on holidays in England a few years ago. I caught up with a friend for a few drinks, one of his friends come along. He was a grumpy retired lawyer from london who specialised in divorce. After several drinks me and my friend copped an hour long lecture on why you shouldnt get married. Some of the stories he told us were frightening. That afternoon was one of the key factors for my mgtow discovery. Its funny because my friend who was there is still single and we still talk about that afternoon.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Marriage Rule Number One: DON’T

We should make copies of this and send them out as flyers…

[DaveVParticipant 450]

Thanks for the comment 007.

Yeah, looking back on the post, its long….wasn’t my intention. Just started typing lol

Agree with you, be aware of the risks of marrying or having kids in the uk !

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[DaveVParticipant 450]

Thanks blade.

It’s good that there are others that understand the problems I had to go through. Just want to warn others.

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

Post to long for three words DONT DO IT

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[From The AshesParticipant 149]

OP, well put.

It’s like that in Canada as well as the UK. Trust me. I just wish I would have known sooner.

Like the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer (in my case).

Children need parents, not crazy one sided indocrination. You’re spot on with your suggestion for custody.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

great post DaveV, and by the way, welcome to the forums.

the marriage contract is an awful deal.

DaveV wrote:

(1) If you get married, its likely you WILL lose more than 65% of your assets e.g. house, car, pension, stocks/shares etc

this is true. it is a common myth that men lose (only) half of their s~~~ in a divorce. When kids are involved, fathers lose more than half, often times around 60%.

DaveV wrote:

If I decide, and that’s a big IF, to get married again

ummmmm……. that seems like a stupid IF….no offense

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

Even without the divorce rape, can a married life be better then bachelor life?

Is the unicorn capable of given more frequent and cheaper sex? Can the unicorn give threesome or foursome? Can the Unicorn stay beautiful all the time as oppose to upgrade to a younger model bachelor life afford?

Is the unicorn services cheaper then a housekeeper?

Can the unicorn be a better friend then a dog?

Can the unicorn hold more interesting conversations then your male friends?

Can the unicorn give as much freedom as a bachelor life?

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[Anonymous 13]

Good advice and well thought out.

I’m afraid after what happened to me I’m somewhat more extreme in my views.

When any woman can order any man’s destruction with a phone call then quite simply:

There can be no marriage.

There can be no cohabitation.

There can be no relationship.

There can be no dating.

There can be no female contact.

It is over.

Unless of course you like looking up at the ceiling of a prison cell, starving and freezing cold.

Destroyed financially and working until I die.

Never. F~~~ing. Again.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

TL;DNR – don’t

[DaveVParticipant 450]

I agree, having been through the courts, it is a stupid ‘IF’, but nothing is impossible, just like finding a unicorn in my back garden or winning the lottery….just 1 in 140 million chance…..

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[DaveVParticipant 450]

Excellent videos interstellar.

I couldn’t believe how bad it is the US. In the UK, you aren’t normally imprisoned for not paying. The courts usually add it to your mortgage (if you have it) and/or force you to sell the house. The other thing is to send the bailiffs around who seize whatever remaining assets you have. If they imprison you in the UK, you would lose your house, and then become bankrupt – and with a criminal record, you would struggle to find work, and would have to go on welfare…where the courts would not pursue you since you have nothing. Most blokes try to find work and whatever income they get, gets stripped off them ie they become economic slaves. The best thing is to leave the country and never come back or do nothing and live off the state. The state will then support you. You are also more likely to get access to your children !

It costs £40,000 per year to keep someone in prison ($USD 60,000) – so the government doesn’t want that, it wants you to give and give. But the reality is, that is the system here. Its f**ked up.

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

[DaveVParticipant 450]

I understand your sentiments.

I just wanted people to be informed of the issues, but I agree with you, it would be economically and mentally suicide to get married in England if you are honest, work and pay taxes and have any assets whatsoever. You are trusting a woman to be fair, non emotional, objective and willing to put the good of the children above all else, including her emotions…. whilst she has your b~~~~ in a vice grip due to the law here.

There are men who are complete dicks as well, and if they have no assets, they are allowed by the law to do what they want, since they have nothing to be taken off them, so why should the legal system bother with them ?

Decent blokes should stay clear, but I just was offering advice to those, like lemmings, still wanted to jump off the cliff 🙂

D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)

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