My observations?

I used to look up to my dad as a kid but as I got older I fear I have lost some respect for the man.  Out of everyone in my family he has probably gave me more shaming language in regards to not getting married/girlfriend/etc.  Even more than the women in my family, ironically.

In regards to women, he always talks about how their treatment and lives are unjust.  However when I counter with the issues men face today, which are worse in many respects, he just ignores it.

He worked his ass off to provide everything my Mom ever wanted only to be walked on and used like a doormat.  Although I am not 100% sure,  I have heard comments by him implying he is going to leave all his property to her “because he is afraid his son’s won’t take care of her”.  Which is bulls~~~ because I am literally lending or giving what little money I have had at times to help them financially in tough times.   My brother has done the same.  Often times we have lent literally everything but 5-20 dollars in an effort to help with financial issues.

Growing up my mother would steal items from him, left to him by his father, and sell them to by stupid little ceramic houses.  Whenever she would work she would guilt trip everyone with her “sacrifices” for the family.   During the beginning of my college years my dad looked into getting into an easier business on his health and to help him retire.  But he needed my mom to work about 20 hrs per week just sitting at a desk looking over mentally handicapped people, for legal reasons.  She wouldn’t do it, because it didn’t “make her feel comfortable.”  He was suffering from kidney stones during and prior to this time, from work and stress. He had a mini stroke 2 years later.  2 heart attacks six years later.

I can’t help but wonder if half the struggle of “growing up” was caused by his way of thinking rather than me.

My mom caused as much financial problems for the family, as everyone else’s stupid mistakes combined.

Still he is so fixed on me getting a woman that he even recommended me converting to Amish so I can marry one of theirs.

I have to stop typing because my computer gets glitch with long posts or I would write more.

I am venting as much as I am anxious about hearing about everyone’s else’s experiences.

My father never discovered this principle. He lived his entire life working for my mother and her daughter from a previous marriage. His child by her (me!) was put up for adoption so that she could keep The other man’s child. She dominates him completely, does not let him hold money, dresses him up like a preppy Ken doll, got a poodle without his consent so that he would bond with it and uses his “cuteness” to get discounts at restaurants. She has spent all his money on five bedroom McMansion where the two of them live by themselves and has caused him to completely cut himself off from his family… including his first child from a previous marriage and myself.

I have no respect for a man who has no respect for himself.

As a kid I always thought I would grow to respect my father as I got older.  Sadly, and I mean sadly, I have lost a lot of respect for him and also developed a sense of anger towards him.

When I was in between jobs about 8 months ago and having financial difficulty he would use shaming language such as “you are a failure as a man” or all I was doing “was trying to hurt him”.  Ironically, he came begging for money from me months later for heart meds.  And I gave it of course.

Years ago, he would talk big talk about how he would pay for my college.  I went of course, even though I didn’t want to.  I even clearly expressed I didn’t want to on several occasions.  But who can argue against “free?”  Now I have about $10,000 in student loans.

I still live at home because of the cost of living, so I can only hold so much anger.  He could have kicked me out, like other dads.   I just never talk to him anymore.  I am an alien in my own house.

It was clear he didn’t care about his first kid nor did he care about me in the end… letting my mother cut off communication with me and doing nothing to prevent it. I suppose his poodle, his lawn and my mother’s leash around his neck are all he needs.

On the plus side, there was a man in my life who inspired me to do something with myself and be happy… his name was Charles Chillingworth and he was an attorney in West Palm Beach, Florida who dated my adopted mother (after she divorced my adopted father) when I was a boy. He was the closest thing to a MGTOW I’d ever met until I heard of the concept myself… had his own practice, made a s~~~-ton of money, owned a two story Spanish Villa style home with a huge master suite and a room devoted exclusively to a model train set, huge playrooms for his two boys, three boats, a converted van for summer road trips and a sports car for his daily driver.

This guy taught me how to play chess, took me to the World’s Fair (such as it was in those days) and to amusement parks and summer camp as well as sailing, fishing and dirt bike riding and basically showed me by example what it meant to have fun without worrying what a female had to say about it. Unfortunately my adopted mother (who was also a c~~~ and bi-polar to boot) treated him like s~~~ and he eventually bailed. Without his influence I probably would have become a mangina myself.

So even though it’s probably not a very MGTOW thing to say, I do encourage men to date single mothers with young sons and set a good example to those sons and show them that there is a world where females do not have power… even if they only see it for a brief time (for as long as you can stand their bitchy, self-absorbed, money grasping moms) you’ll be doing the kid a world of good. Just watch your ass and get out at the first sign of trouble. And avoid women with daughters. Too much chance of a molestation charge and you can’t do s~~~ for them anyway.

It does seem though that many mangina fathers do tend to set their children up for failure.

Dude, don’t let that get you down.  At the end of the day, just realize the misery he has brought upon himself.  As for the wifey, she is even more miserable than he is.  (That is the norm for women whose husbands are not happy)

Interesting observation.  Explain.

But on the other hand he still has to put up with her s~~~, occasional nagging and moodiness that he’s obviously tolerating more for her sake than anything else. His dad died when he was young and his mom was an alcoholic loser so I’m sure I could delve into the psychological aspects and all that BS. He is just the type of guy that doesn’t like confrontation and would rather do the typical “yes, dear” “whatever you say dear” placating than get into arguments, though he will put her in her place from time to time.

My mom actually genuinely respects my dad and it shows in her general behavior, which I think is why they have had a successful relationship with very few bumps in the road.

I don’t think women can marry and hope to have a stable marriage if they marry a guy that isn’t better than they are. They have to accept the fact that he’s her superior and that assuming he conducts himself with respectability, should be respected.

Women who marry men who they feel are weak or less than they are will eventually resent them. It’s like some need to be dominated and kept in their place that they need men to provide.

I didn’t get to have much of a father-son time with him which I still regret. His influence on my life is profound. He taught me how not to smoke by handing me a cigar when I was 4, to which I obviously choked and that created a deep anti-smoke scar on my psyche and hence I’m a non-smoker today. 😛
I can smoke 1 or 2 at times, just not addicted to that stuff. He also taught me how to drink with respect by handing me my first glass of champagne when I was 7(properly diluted of course). I drink(a lot) now but I learned from him how not to abuse the substance.
My mother blew her lid on both occasions but he told her, look there will come a time he simply wont listen to us so it better to teach him these things while he still does.

Like I said I didn’t get to have many father-son time with him but a couple of months before he fell ill we had a chat while he was tending to his plants as gardening was one of his hobbies. He knew he was getting old and something might happen to him so he gave me a few pointers on life. He told me in his absence to respect my mother but also take up his role as the man in the family because if I relegate that position to my mother and sister I will be kowtowing to women for the rest of my life. He also told me that a woman can take control of a man and do horrible things to him but it is as long as the man allows her to, the power is really with the man not the woman. Regarding marriage he told me that he’d never pressure me as it is my life so its my call, just told me in a slightly cryptic manner not to make the same mistakes that he did.

Its been two years and boy do I miss him. The saddest part of a boy’s life is not to have a father figure, to look up to, to model his own life on his. I lost mine when I was 14 and I never quite recovered from the loss. Today I’m a MGTOW and I take no s~~~ from women or anyone for that matter but I’m at a constant battle with myself. A part of me, however small keeps demotivating me all time, tells me to be a mangina, give up this futile resistance and just surrender my dick to a pussy and live the rest of my life under her feet in blissful ignorance.
I feel a part of my backbone is missing due to an adolescence spend without a father figure and that makes my internal conflict with my tenuous submissive side even more challenging. Especially with all the external influences coming to play as I discussed on that Relentless Assault post.

No wonder this is still one of my favourite Christmas carols of all time.