I had dated very little being one of the nerdier types. In ’91 I thought I was in love and got married. During the ten year sentence I was with my own personal succubus, the tables were always turned so that no matter what she did, I was at fault. I’ve always loved to read, science fiction being my focus. I should have seen it as a red flag when she said my collection of paperbacks needed to be gotten rid of. Sure I had some books, close to 800, nicely packed away in the spare bedroom, never in anyone’s way. I managed to save about 100 books for myself while she took the rest to sell at her sister’s yard sale. After the weekend, I asked where’s my money from the sale of the books. “Oh we have to count it out as we go through what was sold.” A week later I saw her sister, “How was the yard sale?” – she said “What yard sale?”

We had to move one time out of state and I was arranging for my brother to take care of my car in storage. The car had some sentimental value since it was my first car and I still had it to that point for seven years. Well the “wife” made some deal with her girlfriend then came to me saying I could store my car at her girlfriend’s place until I can come back for it. The car was a ’67 and the registration was also the title for a car that age in NY, this was in ’91. We got my car over there, parked it, went back and packed. On the day of the move the “wife” said her girlfriend’s boyfriend needed my registration just in case the authorities questioned my car in his yard. Then the “wife” tells me her girlfriend “loaned” us $100 for the move. About three months later when I had the chance to get my car, the “wife” was on the phone with her girlfriend. I asked about my car, her girlfriend said it was gone. I asked was it stolen. No, since we sold her the car, they sold it to a junk yard. The body was in the process of being repaired, so my car didn’t look like much, but I had over $3000 invested in the engine and transmission. Funny how it somehow my fault I lost my car.

After ten years of marriage, getting her what she wanted – a house, new vehicle when she became tired of the old one, furniture, appliances, bedroom sets, even a tv. Turned out that while I was working the third shift, she was bringing a guy in to my bed and f~~~ing him. This guy was unemployed, homeless, overweight, smoked and drank. By this time in my life I had cut back my drinking to enjoy the buzz rather than get drunk. I lost 75 pounds and stopped smoking when I couldn’t climb three flights of stairs at work. But I was no longer the man she married, I changed too much.

When she hit me with the divorce papers, she had already cleaned out most of her stuff from the house and had taken most of my good things. When I asked where was my things, she said she was “owed” them. The hounding started then and I agreed to give her all the profit from the sale of the house if she left me alone. She tried to get financing but couldn’t. The bank said I could buy her out, but I didn’t want it anymore after she f~~~ed some guy in my bed. So the house was put up for sale. She agreed to let me sell the house. I sold it at just enough to cover the mortgage. I lost the house and walked away with nothing, all she got was $250. It was my last “F~~~ you bitch”. Haven’t seen her since. That was 2001.

It was about that time I started getting a mindset explained this way – it’s cheaper to rent a hooker than to be married, you will get sex and won’t loose your house. Since then I’ve dated, never got into any relationships, and have actually had more fun than in my entire ten year marriage. Over the years I’ve had people tell me I’m wrong, or something is wrong with me, that I need to get a good wife, I shouldn’t be alone and by myself. Even though many tried to make me feel guilty, I didn’t. I was enjoying my freedom. I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t answer to anyone and no one answered to me. I did go in circles due to a lack of direction in my life, even stagnated for a while.

One time while trying to get to the bottom of a bottle of rum, I started to air guitar to some music and I played with the thought – I’ve always wanted to learn guitar but so many in my life said no, including the “wife” when I was married. I went ahead and bought one. Found books and dvds on learning to play. Had a couple of times when I had to put it down, but I kept coming back. While working for a delivery company, I would practice when things were slow. My friend John gave me a lot of support – keep playing man! Things right now are getting settled again and John asked if I still played. Yes, when I can. Please play for my friend Zero. Out of practice and feeling embarrassed I wasn’t at my best, I played. Zero was the first one to ever say I had skill and he could see the talent starting to grow. I was floored. He went as far as to say he wants me to record a few songs and he wants to be my manager. Well, like I said, things are still getting settled and one is getting my guitar back. I should have it back in two or three weeks. And when I get her back, I will practice, I have things to learn, and then it would be time to record demos and see how Zero can help me. What I thought would just be a fulfilling of a childhood dream just to learn and play has been growing from a hobby to a change in occupation. Something that never would have been possible if I had stayed married.

And that’s where MGTOW grabbed my attention. There were bumps and hickups along the way, but the basic idea that this is My life and I live it on My terms has been my guide since my divorce. Finding MGTOW and learning that I’m not the only one who thinks this way, has had set backs and can take control of one’s life – all I can say is “Thank You”.

I have to say, knowing this already is making a difference. Today at work one of the ladies asked me if I knew anything about cars. I think is because everyone knows I ride the only motorcycle there. I said a little and she went on to describe what was wrong, I said it might be a broken belt or her steering pump went bad. Then came the $64,000 question – “Oh do you think you can take a look and fix it for me?”

Before I found this website my usual response would have been a No with and apology stating I don’t have my tools with me. But this time was different, I simply said “No” and went back to work. I didn’t apologize, I didn’t make excuses or give reasons why I couldn’t – all playing that false guilt I’ve felt for years. A simple No, the conversation ended and I felt good. I realized I didn’t owe her or anyone else an explanation. No – doesn’t matter why, I just didn’t want to. No – it felt good.

Then another thing happened leaving work. After walking out and letting the door close, there was a woman who was going in. The old me would have stopped, went back, opened and held the door for her to go through. Today, I didn’t. I just looked past her towards my bike when she said “Aren’t you going to get the door for me?” This made me stop, yes, but I said something I never thought I would ever say –

“Women want Equal Rights, you can get the door yourself.”

Now I said it nicely, no hate or malice in my voice. And she gave just a funny little look then opened the door and went in. And I can’t believe how easy it was. It wasn’t until I got to my bike that I think she couldn’t say anything because of the logic of what I said. I think I confused her. If women want equality, then they can get their own doors – chivalry is dead. If women was special treatment, then they don’t want equality – chivalry lives, or should I say chivalry is slavery.

Anyway, long response, but damn if it didn’t feel good today.

Looks like you drank from the waters of personal freedom, arriving at MGTOW in relatively good condition…

You sound like a much happier MAN since loosing the depressing baggage (wife/pigf~~~er), Welcome to MGTOW!!!!!

Wow what a bitch you used to be Married too. I know that feel Bro, after my divorce, I was sleeping in my truck, homeless can be(the ex took everything even my underwear), however I was happy, because no more screaming and no more yelling, i had the most peace sleeping in my truck on the beach, listening to the ocean.

Glad you picked up the Guitar and learned how to play. It’s talent that were already inside you, just wanting to come out.

Wish you the best, again welcome to MGTOW.

someone else on this site said it better than me, but I’ll pass long his quote. Essentially: “You can have chivalry or equality…but not both.”

Over the years, I’ve learned that the trick is using a very polite tone when pulling out a reality club and beating them over the head with it. If you’re mad or nasty, they can use that hostile tone as an excuse to disregard all the content of what you say. If you’re soft spoken and polite when you say it, it gets in unopposed like a trojan horse and detonates inside the perimeter. I never get tired of watching their faces when I do this.

That (I’ve found) also to be the only winning strategy and it works better than “arguing”. Arguing with them (no matter how justified) is only reflected back as YOUR problem – and YOU are “butthurt”. The ever predictable appeal to ridicule (explained below) followed or started by an “LOL” in matters of how men are treated (and how he feels about it) is not appropriate and they know it…. but they still use it as an “argument” and convince themselves they have “won”.

Brain Pilot is talking about what I might call killing them with kindness.
It works like a nuclear bomb and detonates leaving permanent illusion-shattering scars on them.

@stratmano1 No, there’s nothing wrong with you. One of the best thing about arriving at MGTOW is the FINAL ability to remove the baggage you’ve been carrying….. the lifelong burden of assuming responsibility and blaming yourself for things that are NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM. They are not your fault. What a relief that is. But men do this anyway. When a relationship or marriage fails, the man is ALWAYS blamed. He is even required to PAY. Even when she is completely unbearable to live with, HE is blamed. He must pay. He is mocked. HE is ridiculed and he deserves it.

“Everything is your fault” is the first rule of leadership. It’s a good thing. Personal responsibility is man’s best friend. It allows you to personally congratulate yourself for your successes, and berate yourself for your failures. It’s the only way you can earn respect and have self-respect. But female behavior is not your responsibility. It’s not your fault. It’s not your failure. It’s hers. This is treating her fairly. However women don’t think this is treating them fairly. They call it “misogyny”. The accusation of “misogyny” is like the appeal to ridicule. It is no more than a deflection to make her problem – your problem.

The problem is, women do not accept responsibility for this. They blame YOU. The world blames the MAN.
And too often, the man will even blame himself.

• If he has an affair, he’s a cheating bastard and he should pay. This is RIGHT.
• If SHE has an affair, he didn’t satisfy her needs as a woman, he’s a bad husband, and he should pay. This is WRONG.

Anyone with half a brain can understand that.

Women can have special & differential treatment — OR — they can have respect. They can not have both.

The Appeal to Ridicule

Also Known as: Appeal to Mockery, The Horse Laugh. The Appeal to Ridicule is a fallacy in which ridicule or mockery is substituted for evidence in an “argument.” This line of “reasoning” has the following form:

• X, which is some form of ridicule is presented (typically directed at the claim).
• Therefore claim C is false.

This sort of “reasoning” is fallacious because mocking a claim does not show that it is false.
This is especially clear in the following example: “1+1=2! That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”

It should be noted that showing that a claim is ridiculous through the use of legitimate methods (such as a non fallacious argument) can make it reasonable to reject the claim. One form of this line of reasoning is known as a “reductio ad absurdum” (“reducing to absurdity”). In this sort of argument, the idea is to show that a contradiction (a statement that must be false) or an absurd result follows from a claim. For example: “Bill claims that a member of a minority group cannot be a racist. However, this is absurd. Think about this: white males are a minority in the world. Given Bill’s claim, it would follow that no white males could be racists. Hence, the Klan, Nazis, and white supremists are not racist organizations.”

Since the claim that the Klan, Nazis, and white supremists are not racist organizations is clearly absurd, it can be concluded that the claim that a member of a minority cannot be a racist is false.

Examples of Appeal to Ridicule

• “Sure my worthy opponent claims that we should lower tuition, but that is just laughable.”
• “Support the ERA? Sure, when the women start paying for the drinks! Hah! Hah!”
• “Those wacky conservatives! They think a strong military is the key to peace!”

Strat, it’s nice to see a brother turn the corner, can’t wait to see how good it gets for you.

BrianPilot, you’re something like nicest prick ever…

MG-Tower, send us out thermo-nuclear

Thanks Smitty. You guys inspire some interesting thoughts! And I’m tired of seeing guys blaming themselves (and even KILLING themselves) for being made to feel inadequate when they problem was never theirs. I saw a quote from Ninja earlier who said we don’t just save lives… we save souls.

That be Me…. every word true. Having gone through the ringer, been crushed inside, not just one woman, all the women I went through. Each or them chipping and scarifying, like vandals one after another relentlessly stripping me of my dignity. Damn near died, not one of them ever did give a s~~~, there motto “all for me, less than none for you”. My motto “go-f~~~-yourself”.

This years MGHOW day, I’m going to p~~~ on a box of chocolate!