MGTOWRelationship to your mother – MGTOW https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/feed/ Tue, 09 Jun 2020 07:44:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=2.5.14-6684 en-US https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/page/420/#post-28802 <![CDATA[Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/page/420/#post-28802 Sat, 07 Mar 2015 22:18:33 +0000 Tyrion Hi guys,

During my marriage, I drifted away from my mother: my wife hated her and basically made me cut all relations. Which was OK because, even if I love my mother, I always thought she was pretty annoying: typical upper-middle class entitled babyboomer, successfuly made me a mangina up until now…

After my divorce, I decided to give my mother a call to tell her what happened and that I was OK. Since then, she has made it very clear she wanted us to talk more. She calls, texts and emails me too often for my taste. She hinted at children taking care of their parents, even if I know she earns more than me, and she is married. Recently, she gave my email address to an old friend of hers who ‘wanted to catch up’.

This is where my MGTOW s~~~-o-meter started beeping. Could she have seen my divorce as an opportunity to put me back in chains? Hers this time? Am I being paranoid?

What do you think?

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29841 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29841 Tue, 10 Mar 2015 23:14:40 +0000 experienced You’ve come to the right place. Keep asking others here what they think.

Communicate with your mom in a time controlled manner eg texting or emails. This allows you to come to a conclusion, not react, and then look at the whole deal the next day, and see if you still agree with your conclusion and what her actual strategy and motives are for each case. THEN you respond.  Try putting the shoe on the other foot. Eg do you think of children as someone you support, or should support you?

Does your mom’s respect of you, if there is any, include her having asked you first whether or not to give your email address to someone else?  Birds of a feather flock together, if mom’s a challenge, the one she recommends to you to “catch up,” probably is too.  It’s somewhat shocking to look back on matches proposed when one considers the benefit to each party. Eg is mom going to be in great stead with her girlfriend, for passing off said girlfriend’s loser daughter to you? Or is she looking for/ putting your interests first?      I can’t recommend marriage, but if you’ve got to be in a relationship, lead it from the get go. If she won’t let you, dump her.  Mom seems to be going “parent to child” on her calling the shots here, yet not even “adult to adult” on responsibilities, but “child to parent” on her being taken care of by you.  I mean, yes, if she can’t work, is elderly, and alone, do the right thing, but she’s married, makes more than you, etc.??     Don’t get played for the fool.    Don’t look through her colored glasses. Look through your own eyes, “Why did I marry my ex?”  “What exactly was I thinking?” “Am I going to allow myself to make the same mistake again?”

If mom makes it very clear what she wants from you, flip the table over, make it very clear what you want from her.

Also, beware if she does the: question..…..question…….question….… technique or the questionquestionquestion, or the make a statement totally one sided and immediately change the topic.

Proceed with caution.
The world assumes that mom is perfect and the relationship is the problem, this may not be true.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29847 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29847 Tue, 10 Mar 2015 23:42:29 +0000 experienced  

I………………………can’t…………………………………..cannot recommend………………………………. marriage. But if you’ve got to be in a relationship, lead it.  If a girl won’t allow this, dump her.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29924 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-29924 Wed, 11 Mar 2015 09:20:03 +0000 Tyrion
experienced wrote:

The world assumes that mom is perfect and the relationship is the problem, this may not be true.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that mothers are just women who succeeded in extracting enough resources from a man to pass on their genes. Given I don’t want a relationship with a women in general, there is no reason she should get a pass just because she took care of me (with my father’s money) when I was vulnerable.

So, when she called yesterday, I did the unthinkable: I submitted her to a s~~~-test. And she failed. I brought up the subject of the wage-gap and listened very closely to what she had to say about it. Unsurprisingly, she started by explaining why it existed and when I told her I didn’t think it was the case, that no employer would ever decide to sit on a 23% margin just because they wanted a sausage-fest, she changed the subject. It wasn’t about women making less for the same job anymore, it was about the job needing to be adapted to the individual’s priorities, women not being in positions of power, blablabla…

About the old friend she wants me to catch up with (yes, she asked for permission, and I foolishly said yes), it has just been the ‘how have you been’ exchange for now. Meaning the payload (what she wants) is yet to come.

This convinced me that I needed to be extra-cautious and analytical, especially because of the pre-existing emotional ties. I think the text/email is a great idea: it allows for time to think between exchanges and limits the amount of subconscious s~~~ she can download in my brain.

What are your thoughts on the subject? As an ex-slave, it seems logical that your first master must be the one with the biggest influence over you, right? Do you see your mother as a NAWALT (reminder, they don’t exist)? Or are you very cautious around her? Do you still talk to her? If so, what kind of protections have you set to limit her influence?

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-35795 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-35795 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 04:29:52 +0000 J.D Silvernail You are right about your mother.

I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-40690 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-40690 Thu, 16 Apr 2015 05:25:24 +0000 MAXIMUS wife = wedge between you and anything you ever loved!

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-41028 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-41028 Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:41:27 +0000 JollyMisanthrope I tolerate my mom, not because I don’t love her, but we just have personalities that are combustible if we are in the same room for too long. It’s always been that way though, we know how to push each others buttons and sometimes engage in doing so just to p~~~ each other off. It’s never malevolent, just a weird dynamic of our relationship.

She’s joked from time to time about me not getting my inheritance unless I take care of them when they get older. I told her I’d gladly give up most of my inheritance to pay someone else to wipe her ass and get her in and out of the bathtub when she’s old and feeble.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.
]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-47004 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-47004 Sat, 02 May 2015 03:37:26 +0000 Hitman mothers do not have special status….when a viper nurses at her venomous teat, it raises only more reptiles..i spat out her poison long ago..

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-48432 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-48432 Tue, 05 May 2015 08:12:56 +0000 Keith My mom and I always got along great, but she is from a different era.  She is very well educated (she holds a masters degree), always had a great job and so she was not subservient in a 19th century sorta way, but she was a diplomat.  She taught me and my 4 brothers that if women can have it all in the modern world, including children, careers and success, without a man, than men could surely do the same thing.  I believe this advice is why me and 3 of my 4 brothers have all remained single.  (One brother married at age 46 – 10 years ago and is getting divorced now – he learned his lesson).  One of my brothers even has 3 children through surrogacy and he has raised them as a single parent and done a fine job.

My mom is 89 now and as I had stated in a previous post, long ago she told me that I didn’t need to get married.  She thought that women “nowadays” wanted to be men and she believed that this would be an obstacle to a successful marriage.  She said women now want to be independent so they should be and she told me to harvest the fruit without ever owning the crop.

She posited that gender roles were created and refined over thousands of years and their importance could not be underestimated or easily dismissed.

I didn’t realize how prophetic these words would prove to be.

Keith

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a man who never found a wife and he lived happily ever after. The End.

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-49436 <![CDATA[Reply To: Relationship to your mother]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/relationship-to-your-mother/#post-49436 Thu, 07 May 2015 20:51:01 +0000 Beware the Lamiae Tough subject. Mothers of course were our first relationship. They are the ones that instilled the Male Mother Need. Most of us still love them and can’t stop. I’m not saying we should stop loving them. I’d have to guess that we’re all very ambivalent towards our mothers. Mine was there for me when I was a vulnerable and troubled wimp. I finally grew up but I owe her a few favors, emotional favors (I’d never borrow money from her). She and I are like oil and water. I’ve been atheist since I was 12. She is still uber Crustian.

I try to keep as much distance as I can mainly because of all that religious dogma. That’s my reason, you may have different ones. Im done with Christmas role playing and honestly dont want to be a part of most family functions.

I stay away from my brothers too. One is a former youth pastor (married with kids), another just graduated Masters from Seminary (married) and the last brother is a virgin because he is a Homosexual, hard core feminist victim class nance.

Stay away from people you dont like is my advice.

Dont be on a leash for family. Specifically the women in your family. Im a man now, conscious of my biological impulses and psychology, I can resist that crap because it leads to suffering. Im a Man Going His Own Way. I dont take orders or comply with malingerers requests. I especially dont approve of their religious beliefs or teaching their kids that crap.

 

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