My grandfather was a small time contractor. He did mainly small renovations on peoples homes. He and my father would be out most days working, while my mother and her 2-3 sisters and my grandmother would sit around and literally talk about how useless men were. It was constant. They’d cut coupons out of flyers get drunk and get me to agree with them by saying s~~~ like your a good boy, you’ll make lot’s of money for your wife. Typical white knight mangina grooming that mothers often do to their sons. But anyway, I wasn’t raised by a single mother yet she bitched, complained and nagged about my father to me when he wasn’t around so often that I may as well have been.

When my parents were ‘stable’ enough to move out on their own and have their own place I learned a lot about the typical marriage. After my little sister was born, when I was 6, my parents started sleeping in separate rooms, one would either be in the bedroom or out on the couch but rarely did they sleep together and by rarely I mean I don’t ever remember them sleeping together. I thought that was weird even at my age of 7. By the time I was 9 the nagging by my mom at my dad about money was at a c~~~ level 10 out of 10.  My dad would try to get work sometimes at one of those casual labour places. I mean, he was 15 when I was born, his money making skills were limited. So when he didn’t get picked up for a job he was like f~~~ it, I’m not going home to listen to that nagging bulls~~~. Those times my mom’s complaints would shift to worry and concern by the next morning (before cellphones and computers). But when my dad eventually did come home all of that concern and worry vanished and immediately replaced by questions, accusations and demands. She would literally go on and on for hours. She was almost never satisfied until she provoked him enough to raise his voice and get mad.  Sometimes so mad he’d literally have to punch a hole through the wall to get her to shut the f~~~ up. He would start with ” babe, I don’t want to argue ok? I didn’t get out, I stayed at Mikes again last night because he lives across the street from the labour place and I thought if I got there earlier I’d have a better chance of getting out.”
My mom would scream back something like “where the f~~~ is the cheque then, where’s the f~~~ing groceries?” and sometimes it was “Well, I didn’t get out today either.” Then, my mother would proceed to lose it on my dad. My mom would always be yelling s~~~ at him about how he needed to support us (the kids) when in reality my little sister and I were fine. We weren’t starving. We actually loved our father and didn’t care if he made money that day or not. He always made it happen for us and we just wished our parents didn’t fight so much. My dad actually got out and made money more often than not but any time he didn’t bring home money, he was deemed useless and treated as if he was always just a step away from being kicked the f~~~ out.

My dad is an awesome guy. A wonderful father. He took me everywhere, always talked to me, taught me chess and every card game under the son, we’d play video games for hours, he’d take me to the theatre or long drives. Just always hung out. We spent a lot of time together. We were buddies. He was the cool dad to all my friends too. Just a laid back really cool dude and through all the s~~~ my mom put him through he never said a negative thing about her. I really admired that about him back then, and in ways I still do. Through all the screaming and yelling and threats of divorce my mom would pull, he stuck it out with her and they are still married to this day.

This relationship would serve to shape my young mind as the way men should be and what I should come to expect and accept as my role when I was older and fortunate enough to have a family of my own.

I ran away from home in 1993. I was 13. This was for 2 reasons, one the money and fighting was bad and for two, my parent’s were moving back up island with my grandparents again ‘temporarily’. Anyway, I left and was out at a young age feeling as though I was following in my fathers footsteps. The best example I ever had. I did not have a place of my own until I was 18. Actually, my first place was shared with my girlfriend so I actually didn’t have my very OWN place till I was about 23 but we’ll get to that later.
I met a girl when I was 16 that I fell in love with. We lived on the streets together. I eventually figured out how to make enough money to get us both off the streets when I was 18 and to take care of her the best I could. When I was 20 she informed me that she was pregnant. My first question was how the f~~~ are you pregnant, your on the pill and I always pull out..? She responded that sometimes it doesn’t always work. Which, later in life I learned is pretty much bulls~~~ and that’s just what women say. The pill works over 99 percent of the time. But anyway, it didn’t really bother me too much as I always kinda thought this was how my life was supposed to play out. Find a girl that you love when your like a teenager, have kids with her, pay all the bills and keep her happy. In return, she would keep the house clean, cook and change diapers.
Pretty much as soon as my son was born the sex stopped. Almost instantly and when I did get laid it was like some big f~~~ing event with candles or I’d have to get her drunk and stay up all night talking with her first. Sometimes she still wouldn’t be in the mood. So, my life as my father so began. I remember thinking I’m 20, have a girlfriend and get laid once a month at best. What the f~~~ happened to us and how can I live the rest of my life like this. I loved this chick, I really was a firm believer in being faithful and at that age and thought I had it in me to just stick it out, after all my father did.
When I was 22 I caught her cheating. I was at home with our son. A friend told me he spotted my baby momma with a guy heading into a house so I had someone watch my son and drove up to the house.  I knocked on the door. Some dude half opened the door and acknowledged that she in fact was inside, but that what she was doing was non of my business because she was a full grown female and if she wants me to know anything she will either tell me or wont tell me when she decides to go home. I left the property (under protest to put it lightly) and went home. She came home the next day while I was out getting drunk with my friends. Even then I was scrambling with how I could over look this. How I could still make this work somehow. I was so f~~~ing angry at her yet it was still ingrained in me that I had to hold the family together with two parents like my father did for my sons sake. When I got home later that day she was there and instantly she told me that I had to pack my s~~~ and go. She didn’t want to discuss anything that happened the prior night, she didn’t want to work on anything. No I’m sorry or anything like that. Just a get the f~~~ out and NOW! This was my house. My name was on the lease, I bought every single thing in there. Every piece of furniture, towel, fork, spoon, all the way down to all her make up. Everything. I paid the rent, the bills you name it. But in return all I got was a Just, a get the f~~~ out I’m not talking about it. So, after my one of my best bros dragged me out of there, I was back on the street. Again, after I swore there was no way in f~~~, I’d ever live on the streets here I was. 5 years of building a family and taking care of business like ‘a real man’ and I’m dumped. In a very cold way. I heard from my neighbour which was the same good bro that pulled me out of there, that she had her new guy over there that very next day. Her, him, and my son. He ended up moving in the following week.

Personally, at that time, the thought of being with another girl made me sick to my stomach, I thought about my ex and my son every morning and night. I was heart broken, but the most persistent thought was that I failed, as a man. I never considered that my son would come from a so called broken home like most of my friends had. I was going to handle my business like my father did. Back then my mentality was that through thick and thin I would have stood by her regardless, forever, because she was the mother of my child and I loved her. To me, back then, I thought love would see two people through any problems. Yes, I was literally that naive. What a mangina I had become.

I hadn’t talked to my ex or son for 3 months. My dad had driven down island to cruise around and help me line up an apartment and shoot the s~~~. We were walking through a parking lot when I spotted my son. He was staring right at me about 20 feet away.  I didn’t realize until that moment how much I had missed him. That was the first and last time I had cried in front of my father since I was 13. My ex was on her way to the welfare office to fill out an application. I caught up to them after I gathered myself and asked to hold my boy. She was actually pleasant and let me hold him. We talked for about 5 minutes and I asked if I could take him to a place I was moving into at the end of the month. She said yes and that she would call me to arrange a time to drop him off.
2 more months went by. She never called. I went out to our old place but it was empty. I drove around for hours with one of my friends and finally by fluke at 2 am I seen my old car pull up at the gas station. My ex got out to pump gas and three drunk dudes hopped out to go buy whatever from inside. I approached her, she was clearly half drunk and was very surprised and somehow offended that I had run into her. I asked her where she was living. She said the area and street but couldn’t remember the actual address. I asked where our son was and who was watching him. She told me he was in the back seat of the car. I was f~~~ing livid but I kept my cool and asked her if I could take him for the night so she could take the break she needed to take and go party for the night. She went for it and let me take my son home.

The next morning she was supposed to come by with bottles, clothes, diapers and formula for him because the only things she had for him when I picked him up was his car seat, a stroller and the diaper he was wearing. She, of course was a no show. By noon I called another young mom that I knew and asked her if she had any spare formula. She said she didn’t but that since it was Tuesday single parents could go to the St. Vincent after 2pm to pick up necessities like baby food etc. So, I wrapped my babies ass in a towel stuck him in the stroller and headed down town to hit up this single parent resource centre.

I was standing in line for about 5 minutes when one of the volunteer ladies came out from behind the counter, walked over to me and asked if she could help me. I told her I needed diapers and formula for my kid. She told me I’d have to come back on Thursday, thats when they handed out hampers to single people. She pointed to the sign on the door that stated Tuesdays after 2pm was for Single mothers hamper pickup only. I was utterly shocked. I told them I needed diapers and that I was a single parent. They told me that if I could produce court documents stating that I had custody of my child then they would do something for me, if not I’d have to come back Thursday. I’ve asked many single mothers if a food bank has ever asked them to produce court documents stating custodial rights in order to get food and to this day have still never herd of an instance of this happening. They are asked to bring the child’s birth certificate, next time if they don’t have it with them and always sent home with what they came for.

I didn’t know what a red or blue pill was until recently but reflecting, this was my first red pill moment. I had never realized just how many blue pills I had choked down in the past but through the course of that next year with my son I soon came to realize how men are viewed by not just women but most of society.

I own now own 2 businesses and have nice s~~~. I’m 35 and my 14 year old son has lived with JUST me ever since. The double standards that I’ve experienced over the years is f~~~ing appalling.  I’m new to MGTOW but from the video’s I’ve watched lately and the articles I’ve read, It sounds like all the s~~~ I’ve been thinking and telling my male friends about for over a decade. I still bang broads, not sure if that’s cool with the MGTOW way yet, but I’m here to learn and hopefully help out future bro’s from making some of the same mistake that myself and or my parents did.

Oh yeah, my name is Gzus. Sorry about the lonnng ass introduction.

my mother and her 2-3 sisters and my grandmother would sit around and literally talk about how useless men were.

Yeah, I’m thankful the women in my family weren’t misandric c~~~s.

These chicks like to claim MGTOW is about hating woman without really knowing s~~~ about it. Because they are females, they assume if it’s a group of men that encourage other men to focus on themselves and not women, then we must automatically hate women (or be homosexual).  Because if a man isn’t interested in a woman’s emotions or what she thinks then that man must hate her or women in general. There lies the problem that got us to this point in the first place. They fail to recognize that this isn’t about them. They can’t seem to grasp the concept that it IS possible to go on in life without thinking about them in one way shape or form. To hate them would be to focus on the wrong direction.
I’ve been on this crazy MGTOW youtube marathon for the past couple months but especially this last week. It’s a strange feeling once it all really starts to kick in… Regarding how things are.. Relationships and marriages. I heard Bar Bar describe what ‘love’ is perfectly. I’ll go try and find that video and post the transcript up later.
I had a question.. Is there any MGTOW books geared towards Boys around the ages of 14 for my son? Most of these vids he might not find interesting cause they don’t really relate to things he’s come close to being through at his age. If theres nothing out there yet, then someone should get on that and in the meanwhile he’s good with Leykis.
Thanks again

Most of us here grew up believing what I’ve seen called the ‘beautiful lie’… which is that if you perform and produce like a ‘real man’, just as you did, it will be appreciated, valued and reciprocated with the same loyalty and determination. Once you realize it’s a lie, there’s no way to ever be suckered into believing it again. So next, congrat’s on reaching that point. What damage was done to you by the one woman you described is all the damage women are ever going to be able to do to you. Because for all the damage women can do, without the initial trust of a man, there’s really not that much they can do. You have to trust them first. Signing a marriage contract or fathering a child with one involves an enormous amount of trust from a man for which essentially none of them is really worthy. From your intro, it doesn’t sound like there’s any chance of that happening to you. And as was pointed out above, that’s really about the only requirement for mgtow.

Next, and also from your intro, while your experience with women has sadly been not so uncommon, the way you’ve handled yourself seems exemplary. I’m 48 years old, college degrees, successful career and all that. But I did not succeed in reproducing. As a teen ager, I wasn’t even responsible enough to have a car. And when I got my hands on one, I made that abundantly clear 😀

On your own at 13… pulling yourself off the street and supporting a family while still a teenager… successfully reproducing and getting ownership of your child… making it through all that crap from her without resorting to violence or drugs or self destruction… And to finish it off, you have reproduced a son who will never believe the beautiful lie. You f’king rock!

As you read more about mgtow, you’ll find articles (if you haven’t already) explaining the number of people who are married, as a fraction of the total population is at an all time low, and that the number of 24-30 year old men who say they have no plans to marry is at an all-time high. Marriage as a concept is a rapidly dying idea. You have successfully produced a son who will be part of that trend.

In the world series of gender relations, you’ve hit a grand slam, and we all salute you here.

‘Looking forward to reading more of your posts.