I’m 34 years old, no kids, and have a good job.  Last week my 30 year old girlfriend whom I have been living with for a year and half so far, dating for 2 1/2; went on a business trip to LA for 3 days then China for 3 weeks last week.   As sad as this sounds, this past weekend felt so great not having her around so I could finally focus on myself in peace and quiet.  Having the bed all to myself, the peace and quiet, not having to deal with the nagging, or the waking up early b/c we had things to do on Saturday.  Not having to plan a night out for dinner (and pay for it) and have something planned to do afterwards.  Not having to pick her up at the train station every night when she would get home from work and if I was 1 minute late; having to hear her mouth the whole ride home.  Not having to visit her parents house and have her complain about why I make the face of grief every time I have to go there.

I stumbled upon MGTOW after researching marriage statistics this weekend.  My girlfriend wants her wedding, to buy a house, and have kids before she’s 32.  We have a joint bank account, and have been saving into it for over a year now for a house, and even visited a bank to get information on buying property!  By the way, she has a very good job.

The weekend before she left to China, we got into this big argument b/c I didn’t plan anything “special” for her as a going away “together time” since we weren’t going to see each other for a while.  I offered to take her to dinner and a few drinks, which obviously wasn’t enough for her.  So we starting arguing.  The argument got pretty loud and she ended up threatening to move out.  So I called her bluff, and she didn’t.  She just nagged me about how I don’t do anything “special” for her, and that if it wasn’t for her that we would be sitting home chilling and watching movies all the time b/c she’s the one who plans all of our “outings” or date nights, and I never want to do s~~~ (according to her).

After learning about MGTOW my whole perception is now changed.  No way in HELL am I getting married to her or any woman.  Hearing you guys talk about your freedom is liberating.  When she gets to China she face timed me and says that I’m not enthusiastic to speak to her and I haven’t told her I missed her. She is already sensing that I am becoming more and more unemotionally thirsty for her.

The hard part now is, how I’m going to go against what I told her I wanted.   I was always weary about marriage, and I’m not fond of kids at all, yet told her that I did want a family.  Having to hear all the baby screaming waking you up in the middle of the night, sexless marriage statistics, divorce rates…omg the list goes on and on.  We’ve only lived with each other a year in a half and she already has become more and more sexually distant. Forget about the random blowjobs you used to get in the beginning to lure you in, and initiating sexual encounters.  We only have sex anymore when I initiate it.  Pussy isn’t as wet as it used to be either.  In the beginning, the sheets would practically get soaked naturally.  Now we have to use lube every now and again.  WTF!

When she gets back from her trip, my goal is to f~~~ her, then take her out to dinner and talk to her about my new boundaries.  No marriage, or kids. If she doesn’t like it, then she can walk.  I’m not going my whole life living with a woman who will try and control me and tell me what I can and can’t do.  Most importantly, I can’t go the rest of my life drooling at all the scattered ass in yoga pants day after day knowing that I can’t have another piece of pussy until I die.  F~~~ that s~~~.  My goal as MGTOW is to date plenty of women, and have sexual relations, enjoying my world as the oyster it is, while completely avoiding the whole marriage and kids concept.  The whole reason men have mid life crisis’ at age 50 is because they’re married for years already and regret not getting all the pussy they could have been getting in their youth!

Keep in mind that she is a feminist, and doesn’t believe in serving men at all really.  She even told me jokingly that “women make their men believe they have the power by doing certain things, when truth is, the women have the power.”  I don’t believe it was a joke at all

And to top the cake, for her 30th birthday, her parents threw her a fancy party at their house.  I contributed money towards the party, bought her an expensive name brand handbag, and took her to dinner at a fancy expensive steakhouse.  That night she got really drunk, and blurted out to me in front of her mother, aunt’s and cousins “I’m going to rule you.”  This was a BIG red flag for me….

I know you guys are probably thinking I should have gotten out a while ago.

I want to thank all you guys for putting this information out there and helping me see the light of day while preventing me from ruining my life by getting hitched.  I almost fell for the trap, but found out about MGTOW just in time!

This is my 1st post.  It might sound like all over the place, but that’s what I’m going through in my mind right now.  Share your opinions and any insight you guys can provide to help me in my current situation.

Nothing makes us happier than to know we’ve contributed to stopping a wedding. When a minister says, “speak now or forever hold your peace…”. We at mgtow have an awful lot to say.

I don’t have much time to write presently. But with the time I have, I’ll say you’ve come to the right place. You are doing the right thing for yourself. You will encounter all manner of resistance from what would have been the biggest beneficiary of you continuing to believe that you should live your life serving her interests above your own. Ignore this resistance and pay attention to protecting yourself. This one who attempted to use you for her own purposes will not be the last one who will try this.

When women hear about some celebrity’s wife getting some unearned monster divorce settlement, they always cheer “good for her”.

When I hear of a man like you backing out of the trap before it springs shut, I always cheer “good for him”…

Let me offer you a few points of advice as you prepare for this:

1) Get your fair share of the cash out of that joint account RIGHT NOW. Leave her a little extra if you want to give her a point to score (otherwise she’ll take it out of your ass later) but get your fair share out before she can touch it.

2) Relocate anything particularly valuable you might have in the home (photos of you and your family, your favorite records, etc) because when she gets angry, she will attempt to destroy something you care about.

3) Be prepared to MOVE OUT if things go badly. Make a reservation at a hotel for that night and pre-pay with cash. You might need a place to sleep.

4) When you do tell her your plans, DO IT IN PUBLIC. Pick a very public place and tell her quietly and calmly that “This is how it’s gonna be from now on.” this way if she gets violent or starts thinking to pin some trumped up abuse charge on you, you’ll have hundreds of witnesses to the contrary.

5) Stay calm. Do not stand up, do not raise your voice, do not lose your cool. Lean back, relax, lay your cards on the table and let come what may.

6) If she throws you out, do not go back. Anything she has control over (money, personal items of yours, etc) is now hers as far as you are concerned. She may choose to give them back to you unharmed or she may choose to bleach, burn or give them away depending on how vindictive she is (and from what you’ve said, I’m going to presume maximum vindictiveness).

7) When it’s all said and done, call up a few of your boys and go celebrate. You just took your first step into a much larger world and although it will hurt, it’s just a scratch compared to what would have happened to you had you married this female.

Oh, and I suggest you wear a cup. Angry females love to go for the nutsack and a quick trip to a sporting goods store can save you a lot of pain in this department.

And one more thing… consider the fact that she may respond by sitting quietly and agreeing to everything you say. If this happens, RUN! She isn’t agreeing, she’s plotting to get back at you and she will do so in a way that produces maximum damage… like getting pregnant, f~~~ing your best friends, destroying your valuables and humiliating you publicly.

In fact, I think you should just dump her. There’s no way this is going to go well for you at this point in time, she’s probably far too invested in you being her future meal ticket to accept a demotion to “casual fling” and when this plan of hers dies, it’s going to die very hard.

Vector wrote:

this past weekend felt so great not having her around so I could finally focus on myself in peace and quiet.

They say the biggest problems in a man’s life stem from not being able to sit in a room all by himself.
I found that to be the truest s~~~ ever.

Vector wrote:

My girlfriend wants her wedding, to buy a house, and have kids before she’s 32.

Isn’t that convenient. You get to be the sperm donor that fits just perfectly into her little schedule and pre-conceived “plan”. You lucky dog.

Vector wrote:

I’m not going my whole life living with a woman who will try and control me and tell me what I can and can’t do.

Control or be controlled.

Vector wrote:

She even told me jokingly that “women make their men believe they have the power by doing certain things, when truth is, the women have the power.”  I don’t believe it was a joke at all

Of course it wasn’t. This would become apparent the day after you sign on the bottom line. 18 months is about as long as a woman can keep up the charade. 2 years max before you start to see the read flags. Even if you’re not totally aware. They want you to THINK you’re in a 50/50 relationship…. where she presents you with 2 controlled choices and you’re allowed to pick one of them.

• “Do you want to get married in the summer or the winter?”
• “Do you want chicken or steak tonight?”
• “Do you want to go for a picnic or to my parents house? “

All cleverly (and intentionally) phrased to make it LOOK like your idea – by asking “do you want”. And by picking one of those controlled choices she now lets you THINK you’re in a 50/50 relationship, which is bulls~~~. Tell her what you REALLY want and she will lose her s~~~:

• “Neither. What makes you think I would WANT to sign a marriage contract at all?”
• “Neither. I want beer and pizza.”
• “Neither. I want to stay home and watch the game in peace.”

That’s when you’ll see you’re not in a 50/50 relationship at all. She thinks she smarter than you and can “rule” you. You are about to give her an education and her plan will now fail.

The first time I saw that video I actually wanted to vomit. The number of women I know EXACTLY like that was enough to turn my hair white.

Vector wrote:

she got really drunk, and blurted out to me in front of her mother, aunt’s and cousins “I’m going to rule you.”  This was a BIG red flag for me….

I had a girlfriend who once said next to me (as I was driving on the freeway) “I told my friends one day all of this was going to pay off”. She actually used the words “PAY OFF”. It took all my self control to slam on the brakes.. but I just kept driving and a f~~~ing cold sweat came over me. Already conspiring without my knowledge when I’m not around is a HUGE red flag.

On that day, I started to “feign beta” and began displaying weak, needy, ass-kidding behavior to repulse her. It worked. And she started to lose interest, eventually making the break up HER idea. She was considerably younger and had no idea just how experienced I was. A lovely girl all around but highly dangerous to my sanity and well-being. I took the terrific job opportunity in another city far far away, and never looked back. Best move I ever made. I remember starting a new and when I came home to MY place which was empty… I actually remember punching the air around me , I was so happy to be rid of the shackles – knowing I had narrowly escaped the noose.

A BIG welcome to the party, Vector.
And don’t be too quick to f~~~ her when she returns.
Guard your sperm like Fort Knox.

“I’m going to rule you.” ?           IMO it’s not that,  “It’s over” …………………………..       “It never was.”

“This was a BIG red flag for me”                No, it’s a  BOMB.

Big red flags are,  “year round boarding school starting at age eight is a good idea.”   Or “it’s important to ‘help’ deadbeat siblings with…..our resources……..right??” (we should be a hammock, not a safety net)

Sounds as if this female’s support network (mom,aunts,cousins) is the type that says, “grow a pair” to females, meaning grow a pair of b~~~~ otherwise she would not have said this in front of them.      They are not going to change.

(By all means, grow…………………….. a pair        of fallopian tubes, breasts.)

But,  “I will rule you”   translates to,   “I will ruin you.”

As you walk to the restaurant’s restroom, you glance through a circular window in the kitchen door and see the cook spitting in the soup.  Leave now? or look around, what a nice establishment, the food smells fantastic, the lighting is perfect, professional staff, reasonable prices.

You’ve already awakened             LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN

It’s not easy, but in the long run it’s easier than living as a gelded former bull, or getting slaughtered when she files for divorce. I NEVER thought it’d happen to me man, was I ever wrong. Please learn from my mistakes.

“I know you guys are probably thinking I should have gotten out a while ago.”

Absolutely not! You are ahead of a lot of men! F~~~ dude… I wish I had been where you are and MGTOW was around before I got married/divorced.

It’s a F~~~ING trap! Like the rebel fleet attacking the 2nd Death Star man!

Everything Doc Fenderson said man! He’s not kidding about the cup protector either. Heh.

“I’m going to rule you.”

Oh really! That corral you’re sitting in is where the bulls run! Horns are in your future! You’ll be gored if you don’t look out!

Unlike the other guys here, I’m gonna say empty your joint account… she would, and leave. Take what you want from your shared apartment, leave the rest. You can have your own new place by the time she gets back. Her arrogance, and own words made this happen. You need to protect you, and run far and fast while you can. I’m talking change your phone #, act like she doesn’t exist. Don’t meet with her, or explain anything, you owe her nothing, she was trying to enslave you.