Here is the situation. Me and my gf are both 26 years old. It’s a new relationship – 5 months. She is my 1st gf (Im not ugly or anything, just very picky and was very busy before). She is great and I love her apart from some stuff I have been noticing for the last couple of weeks.
What bothers me the most is that I feel Im not a priority in her life most of the time. We live 20 min driving away and we see each other like 3 times a week. Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).

So on Wednesday she called me and asked me if I wanted to come to pub that is in her town. She went there after work with some of her friends. I said id like her to come to my place since I m the one who is driving most of the time. She said I ll let you know and then I got the message that she got stuck with friends and that she knows she canceled on me but she can come to my place on Friday, Saturday and Sunday if I will want her to. I wasn’t happy but said ‘Ok, have a good time…’ the other thing that also bothers me is that she is not eager to have sex and never initiate it. We both live with parents but im always alone for weekends so that’s when she can come to my place to have sex/sleep over. I invite her often but she comes like once every 3 or 4 weeks. She always finds something more appealing/important then come to me and spend the night together. Its almost like she is avoiding sex… As I siad I have no previous relationship experiences but I have always thought she would have similar wishes regarding the amount of sex (take every chance we get to do it) because it’s the beginning of the new relationship…

So last Saturday I was invited to her sister’s bday party. She lives with her bf in a different town cca 40 min away from my town. I m not a fan of events like this (especially when I do not know so many people there) and my gf is very aware of that. But I went because I know that means a lot to my gf and is a normal thing to do for someone you love/in relationship. So I picked up my gf (drove to her town – 20 min in opposite direction) then drove to another city 40 min, spent 5 hours with her sister, family and other folks who were invited. We were there till the end, and drove back. I was certain we are going to my place to sleep over. We talked about it one day before… When we were driving back home she got a call from her girlfriend who is also her neighbour saying they have some kind of little party at her place and that we should come. I said I really don’t feel like it (I had enough sitting,eating and drinking for one day) plus I d have to drive her back home (40 min – her town is in the middle of my town and the town her sister lives) and then drive back to my place (another 20 min in opposite direction). She insisted saying she doesnt have toothbrush, pijama and BC pills with her so we have to go there anyway. I was kinda angry saying why didnt she took it before or go back home with her parents instead with me and she said that she forgot and her brains doesnt work at weekends. Also one time before it was something similar but she slept in my t shirt, and used my toothbrush with no problem. And she ahd her BC pills in her purse. But this time it was a problem!? I told her I can drive her to her town but I wont stay for a party and that its her decision – to pick stuff up and go home with me or stay for the party. She asked if I WANT HER TONIGHT. I repplied its your decision… I was irritated by the question since its normal that I want her and it would be normal if she wanted me too – we havent had sex for 2 weeks at that time and it s a new relationship for gods sake. She said we can go there for half an hour and then go back to my place. I said Im really not up for it. The whole time she had her hand resting on my leg while I was driving.

So I drove her back home, she went out and said see you tomorrow and kissed me. I was upset and disappointed but didnt say a word… She felt something is not right so she stayed in the car and talking about some irrelevant things – something like small talk… She knew Im not happy and that I wish her to spent the night in my place but choose to go to the party anyway. She chose friends over me AGAIN, twice in the same week. After that I texted her that she suprised me and i didnt expect somethnig like that from her.The next day we went for a drink where i explained ho i felt and that it wasnt fair from her to ditch me like that after i jsut spent the whole Saturday for her (for a bday party that doest mean anything to me). I also said that the lack off sex and her lack of eagerness bothers me… i told her that ppl in new relationships grab every chance they get to do it and she replied ‘I know’…

So only one week after that (3 weeks of no sex) its weekend again and she went out for a drink with her girlfriends (ladies night out so bfs stayed at home) and I said to her she is invited to come to my place after and she replied I ll let you know – after 2 hours she texted me that they still have plenty to talk about so she wont come and see you tomorrow. Do I expect too much from her? I wish to have sex at least one day for weekends since im alone in the house. I don’t feel like much of priority in her live because of this. Is this normal behaviour for fresh relationship? To be honest sometimes I feel like a fool! maybe im bad at sex or she is just not into me?? BTW she is very hot… not just by my standards…

But my intuition that the general response you will get from others here is:

“Get out and run away and focus on yourself.  Don’t waste your time, etc.”

Or

“It’s a trap!”

Or

“Here are some magic vitamins, they come in the form of little red pills.  Your daily dose is as much as you can handle.”

Dude! Shes using you. I bet she has male friends aswell.
Grow the f~~~ up, man the f~~~ up, move the f~~~ out of your parents house, dump the f~~~ out of that ego bitch! She dosent have time for you anyway.

1. doesn’t want to f~~~ you
2. doesn’t want to be with you much unless it’s on her terms
3. doesn’t want to visit you
4. isn’t taking birth control regularly
5. uses promises of sex to try to get you to obey
6. makes you drive her around
7. doesn’t give a s~~~ what you want

No no, I don’t think she is playing you for a fool at all.  She straight up treats you like a fool, and her pet bitch too.
Honestly, reread points 1 thru 7, and then ask yourself why you are bothering with her at all.

Let’s see, 5 months in she doesn’t want to f~~~ you doesn’t want to be with you much unless it’s on her terms doesn’t want to visit you isn’t taking birth control regularly uses promises of sex to try to get you to obey makes you driver her around doesn’t give a s~~~ what you want No no, I don’t think she is playing you for a fool at all.  She straight up thinks you are a fool, and her pet bitch too.  Honestly, reread points 1 thru 7, and then ask yourself why you are bothering with her at all.

MOWsince95 made such excellent points, I simply had to quote them as they deserve repeating for emphasis.

Good luck.

BVC

Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).

She tells her friends it’s Monkey’s Taxi service….

Take her deep sea fishing with an engine block!

sl00tMonkey wrote:

she is not eager to have sex and never initiate it.

That’s cold fish! Cut loose, loose the tuna…

you’ll need it!

Ditto, what he said — all of it.

SMAD wrote:

But my intuition that the general response you will get from others here is:

“Get out and run away and focus on yourself.  Don’t waste your time, etc.”

Or

“It’s a trap!”

Or

“Here are some magic vitamins, they come in the form of little red pills.  Your daily dose is as much as you can handle.”