Three years later, she had everything, their only child, the condo, and a whopping settlement. He barely escaped being convicted of molesting their child. She used molestation charges to lever the divorce settlement.

Do you really want to stick your dick in the long term relationship wringer?

A friend of mine was in exactly your position, condo and all. We used to hang out often. He married his dream girl, a strong independent woman with a good income. What could go wrong? Three years later, she had everything, their only child, the condo, and a whopping settlement. He barely escaped being convicted of molesting their child. She used molestation charges to lever the divorce settlement. Do you really want to stick your dick in the long term relationship wringer?

God damn, women can be vile. Molestation? Really… they throw the ugliest things out there like candy. “Oh I was abused,” “Oh he raped me,” “He molested the kids [and I of course didn’t do anything until our divorce]. “

I’m not kidding.

What you may lose now is NOTHING compared to what will happen if you carry on.

Now I may just be getting this all wrong …. but lets see what others say.

She is still treating me well enough now but I am scared that she is going to f~~~ me over and/or turn into a total bitch once we tie the knot. I do not want a family at all and I most definitely DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE WANT MARRIAGE.

Hi and welcome to the forums! I enjoyed your opening.

Let me ask you…. can you wait 1 or 2 months? Because we have an AMAZING solution to this problem planned and you would be the perfect test subject. I am totally confident you will LOVE it. It applies specifically to men in your current situation – where she is pushing for marriage and kids. I am wondering if there is a real sense of urgency that you have to do something about it RIGHT NOW. or if you can deflect the issue for a month or two. Labor Day (Sept 1) is the planned reveal of this.

I am in a relationship with a woman that has been going on for about 20 months. Things are now getting serious and way outside my comfort zone…

That’s what I am concerned about. Perhaps you can put your foot down and say you will not even DISCUSS it until the 24th month mark. But the first thing I would recommend is to say to her “Is that a proposal?? Where’s the RING? Since we haven’t even been together 2 years yet, it had better be NICE!! Minimum 5 carats and UP!”

That will bake her noodle.

If you do it right with a sly smile and playful but perfectly serious meaning, she will back the f~~~ off. But in the mean time, guard your sperm like Fort Knox. Set it straight. If she is not going to work for a year to save for a ring and get down on her knees to ask for permission to love you until DEATH…. she will not bring up the subject again. Ever. If that is going to happen it will be YOUR IDEA and by your own initiation. Not hers. When you’re good and f~~~ing ready…. and when you feel like it.

You can say this to her face. OR she can propose with a ring and KNEEL DOWN.

I want to break things up with her but find it so damn difficult to do. Even though there are no particular warning signs at this point, I want out.

This is natural. You are invested. It’s a very dangerous point. But I will tell you, I have been there and not calling it off (when I felt in my sack that I should) was a serious mistake. It ended anyway. Listen to your manstincts.

I feel sexually attracted to women, but I never want a serious relationship again.

Of course you don’t. WHO WOULD? The only relationship worth having is a FUN relationship or none at all. By prodding you with this marriage and kids s~~~ ( without proposing properly herself )…. she is removing the element of FUN from the relationship. Make sure you are verbal about that. That’s your rule. It’s going to be “FUN” or you will want no further part of it. I got sick a d tired of women using the word “SERIOUS” to describe a relationship… so I was direct and said “serious??? why don’t you go find someone ELSE to have SERIOUS relationship with. I am only interested in having FUN relationship with you. If you want serious, honey, you got the wrong guy”. Now she f~~~ed herself into a corner. And she will be less likely to be a buzzkill when you’re just looking to go to a movie of have a peaceful lunch you can enjoy.

Additional info: we do not live together on a regular basis as she has her own apartment 50 miles away.

Great news.

Remind yourself: it is not your responsibility to give women whatever they want and make their dreams come true.

It’s not your responsibility to be the man SHE wants.
It’s your responsibility to be the man YOU always wanted to BE.

Don’t deviate from your course, captain.

You live 50 miles away.  I hope SHE is the one always driving to YOUR place, if not that would be the very first step – assert yourself and let her chase you at all times.

Remember that women are “backsliders”, just like addicts.  They can not fight what they want, even if they say they don’t want it – eventually they will.

Bottom line up front: break up with her now. Get rid of her. I know, it ain’t easy when she lives with you, but it has to be done. She’s making you unhappy, and the possibility of an “accidental” pregnancy is high! If she wants marriage and children, then she will get it one way or the other. Trust me dude, the break up won’t be easy, but the weight of the world will be off your shoulders once you’re free and clear. I’m speaking from experience.

I have to say that I was in a very similar situation to you. I had a woman live with me in my condo for three years from age 34-37. Like you, I was in a good financial position, and I wasn’t interested in marriage and/or children; however, she wanted marriage.

I told her that I didn’t want marriage due to the risk of losing a big chunk of my assets, and she was okay with that. She claimed to be a NAWALT and had no problem signing a prenup. I also told her that I didn’t want to waste a lot of money on a wedding, and she also agreed with that. She even agreed to pay for 50% of the wedding from her own money.

I never did propose to her, but this was the plan if we ever got married. After a couple of years, she really started putting pressure on me to propose. This matter was complicated by the fact that she was very irresponsible with her own money and was on a path to financial ruin (unless of course I saved her, which I refused to do). After putting the pressure on hard core for a couple of weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I told her in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t ready to propose to her, particularly due to her financial situation. It worked, and she stopped pressuring me.

As our relationship continued, her financial situation got worse and worse. Despite this, I had decided that I wanted a house. The plan was to buy the house in my name only and use my money – none of hers. She was okay with this. However, when I finally did put an offer in on a house, and used my name only, she got all weird. She was with me at the realtor’s office when he specifically asked if it would be in my name only, and I said yes. Her body language and behavior instantly changed after that statement was made. While driving home, she brought it up. She felt that it wouldn’t be her “home” without her name on the deed. I told her in no uncertain terms that her name wouldn’t be on the deed. I was putting 200K of my own money into the house, she was on the verge of bankruptcy, and the last thing I needed was creditors going after my property for her financial problems. I was pretty aggressive about it, so she asked me to stop talking about it, and she never brought it up again.

She wasn’t going to pay for any of the house (or own it), but I did reiterate to her though that she needed to get her own finances in order because I was not going to bail her out under any circumstances. And buying the house would limit any help I could provide, even if I wanted to. She agreed. However, her finances continued to get worse.

Luckily, the offer I put in on the house wasn’t accepted; however, I did continue to shop around. While doing this, I really started to think about my relationship with her and her contradictions: saying it was okay for the house to be in my name only and then getting all p~~~ed when it became real, and agreeing to get her finances in order but her actions were the opposite.

So I decided to end it. She was bad news. After our relationship was over, she started talking about seeing a lawyer to see what she could get out of me. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised, but she did tell me on many occasions in the past that she was a NAWALT. Another contradiction. However, I wasn’t concerned about her threats to see a lawyer because I know the common law in my province quite well, and I was careful to play by those rules.

Ultimately, it wasn’t a dramatic breakup, and I did help her with the transition: I gave her a bunch of my furniture, and bought a few things for her new place. I didn’t have to do this, but I believe it helped end the relationship and smooth over her transition. I believe a cup of honey will get you further than a gallon of gas – you don’t want to p~~~ off a bitch anymore than necessary! And I have never received any court notices in the mail.