The urges especially pop up when I see other couples at school etc.

I have really come to terms with reality lately. In fact I come to terms with reality more and more with each passing day lately. I just wrote a post about it.

What you are seeking…….it’s fantasy land. Think about it. No woman is going to want to go to the beach with you, go to the movies, or travel WITHOUT some huge “contributions” on your part. Whether the contributions are you helping her with her rent or car payment this month, maybe next month buying her groceries. Taking her out to expensive dinners at least once a week. They have the pussy and they want to capitalize on that fact.

For the longest time I thought I wanted a girlfriend. I still do, but I know that it doesn’t really exist anymore. So I have given up on that. At this point in my life I am just seeking sex. The thing is, in order to get sex, you have to play the game. You have to give them what they want. You have to give them money/dinners/ gifts AND you have to give them the boyfriend experience. In other words, you can’t just give them money and have sex with them. They would consider themselves whores (which they are anyway) if they allowed you to just pay and play.

I know what you are seeking. I used to seek the same damn thing. A girl to not only have sex with, but to do things with like go on road trips, go to the beach, the movies, go camping with her, etc. The thing of it is…….nothing is “real” anymore. Like I said, you have to pay to play (but they don’t want to admit it).

The solution? I hate to say it but the only solution is to come to terms with reality. It ain’t easy. It ain’t pretty. But it is reality.

There are no free rides. No girl is going to give you a free ride. There has to be something in it for her. Something besides our love and affection. That ain’t enough anymore.

But one thing I’m wondering is….how do you deal with intimacy urges which are quite common at my age.

Once I realized that it didn’t exist. Longing for something one cannot obtain is unhealthy, at least for myself.

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

The solution? I hate to say it but the only solution is to come to terms with reality. It ain’t easy. It ain’t pretty. But it is reality.

Agree, and my reality is…

Youjizz.com  and rub one out.

Like blowing your nose, just a bio need.

I spent most my life doing that hopeless romantic s~~~. I was such a sucker for it and wanted it sooo bad.

I also want to fly like an eagle, and at least with that, there is a sporting chance with our technology we have.

Build it, they’ll come.

The solution? I hate to say it but the only solution is to come to terms with reality. It ain’t easy. It ain’t pretty. But it is reality.

Reality or delusion? I’ll pick reality every time! God grant me the wits and wisdom to tell the difference.

The first step is to realize that 99 percent of all women want to marry. The reasons vary but the outcome is the same. Women behave different with men who are marriageable material than just a guy who’s a fling.  I assume you want a woman who will pour her heart into having long term intimacy with you and give those warm fuzzies. This can happen but at a price.

Next step is understanding that women never ever give without expecting more, not equal, but MORE than what they invested so you my friend will have to put on a face to make her give you all of that.  You will have to play “the game” to get what you want.  Is putting on face to make some one happy and like you what you want for the rest of your life? Especially with multiple women you will be forced to jump around with since you don’t have plans to commit? Yes every now and then you will meet that girl that will like you for who you are but only for a season.  Eventually she will expect you to play the mating game. To put on the farce of alpha beta whatever you want to call it. A woman cannot have you being completely free because that will jeopardize her control of the game. Women only love the game because they make the rules.

Lastly once you understand that this is female nature and that it’s essential in their mating strategy it will slowly quell any desire for long term intimacy with a women. Short term maybe if you need to release pent up frustration. But long term is a contract for disaster.

All these thoughts as a whole has essentially killed all desire I have for intimacy.  Once you get past all the flowery fluff about love and romance and intimacy you’ll realize that it’s not really as real as people as say. Other people can’t make you happy. Only you can make you happy. It’s that simple.

Then I shyster the shysterers ? and end up will all my stuff and they go work flipping burgers.

Then I’m happy ?

Society tries to make men feel lonely and worthless without being validated by a female. So unplugging is a great idea. I do not watch TV or movies or anything mainstream.

Instead it’s better to get other pursuits. Most of them will be solitary especially as you age, just the way it is.

I remember going on vacation with a chick, and she tried to ration out sex that week. Here I was, the guy who paid for the trip, food, and entertainment but you’re acting stingy with it?

What the f~~~?

There’s no need for intimacy anymore.

Imagine walking into the private garage of a guy who was into cars.  Every tool has its place, every part inventoried in a way that makes sense to him.  All decisions are his own to make and his environment is tailored specifically to his requirements and methods.  Even his choice in what kind of car to work on (muscle car, vintage, race car, etc) is very personal combining considerations of aesthetics and purpose.  That garage and the work that goes on there is something that is difficult to “share” with someone else.  You could be a master mechanic yourself but you might not change oil in the same way the owner does – “that funnel is for old oil – use the blue one, it’s for new stuff”.

If you can derive deep satisfaction from doing things on your own, the notion of “sharing” experiences starts to loose some of its appeal.  I have found that I look forward to doing things myself, as I have learned the satisfaction that comes with doing things “my way”.  It’s everything from going grocery shopping to planning and packing for a trip.  I LOVE doing things my way and I’d have a real hard time if I was always tripping over someone else.