It really is pointless, isn’t it?   It’s just a horror show.  I’m actually at the point where I would rather die than have that invisible collar put back around my neck, following my wife around, numb, barely noticing as I am slowly emasculated.

My wife left me about 8 months ago.  Before she left I found myself with severe depression.  Started having trouble with drinking.  Nothing horrific, just self medicating.

She left.

I look back on it now (haven’t drank in a while), and I see what drove me to the bottle.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m the one that chose to allow myself to do that, I’m the one that put bottle to lips – I’m not talking about fault.  I’m talking about what motivated me to hit the bottle so much:

What made me so depressed?  I used to think that I drank to drink away the pain.  But that’s not what it was at all.

I drank to drink away the dishonor.

She sees herself as being liberated.  Like a bird from a snare.  She forgot anything good about me, about us, and there was plenty.  I poured out for her.  8 months ago should have been nothing more than maybe getting a little help or some counseling or something, but she just took off.

I guess I take the vow seriously.  You know, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse.  I really meant that.  I was in it for life.  The truth is that in order to honor the vow I made, if she did come back, I would try.  I wouldn’t compromise – never again – but I would try.  But she’s not coming back (I’m expecting papers any day, but don’t worry, no assets/income to speak of).

Loyalty.  Honor.  Commitment.  Irrelevant to her.

I wont ever go back to what I was again.  I will never trust a woman again.

All the best, man…! Have fun.

Ned T.

Loyalty. Honor. Commitment. Irrelevant to her.

@slaughter, that’s the understatement of the year!

The essence of all dominant women reeks of dishonor! Your X holds no patent on the sleaziness that embodies modern women. Words like honor, charity, commitment, and dignity, are swallowed up in their black hole hearts, and never seen again….. Welcome to the Super Nova, otherwise called MGTOW!

Good luck.

Thanks for replies!  It will have been five years end of July.  Aside from the past year there I thought things were pretty good.  I guess it’s just standard shock at being thrown away like a piece of trash.  But I digress – self pity will get me no where. 🙂

Truth is that I wish I could say this was my first time… but I can’t.  The true horror show was this:

My first time around was my sons mother.  Multiple breakup attempts.  Tears/blowjobs would overpower me and I’d cave.  Then she got pregnant.  But she was on the pill.  Her answer for this was, “Well, there still is a small chance of getting pregnant on the pill you know”.

Had the child.  Worked full time, she stayed home.  Started hearing things like “If you’re not going to help me with these dishes I’m going to take Caleb and you will NEVER see him again!”.  It ended after four years.  Was in dutch legally because of accusations and BS.  I didn’t want to leave because of my boy, but it was either leave or jail, in which case I lose him anyway.  It was so bad at the end that she literally had my shoes and car keys and told me if I tried to leave she would call the police and have me arrested.   Family came and got me.  We had to plan it like it was some kind of covert op.  I snuck out at night and my aunt drove me to the airport where I took a plane to stay with my father 900 miles away.

Oh, and I did get a call from the police that night too (she actually called).  Talked to the officer and let him know what was going on.  He basically said “As long as you’re out of town, I’m dropping this”.

Man I got some crazy stories on that one.

So here I am  years later and I guess if I’m ashamed of anything it’s that I didn’t learn my first time around.

There’s too much life to live to waste it in slavery.  Yeah, it’s time to take the red pill.

You’ve done more than enough hard yards to get here.  Congratulations and welcome.