but I am a man of my word so that is not a option.

Therein lies your problem. She sure as f~~~ isn’t a “woman of her word” or you wouldn’t feel this way, right?

The worst part (for me) was realizing that intimacy you are craving doesn’t even exist. You may think it does in the beginning, but it’s a f~~~ing lie every time (she wants your resources, while you want her companionship).

How to play the power game? Indifference.

(Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is)

The worst part (for me) was realizing that intimacy you are craving doesn’t even exist. You may think it does in the beginning, but it’s a f~~~ing lie every time (she wants your resources, while you want her companionship).

Exactly correct.

What marriage is supposed to be is a social contract in which two people promise, and keep the promise of loving, honoring, and respecting the other party.  At least that is what all of the literature, propaganda, and media tells us it’s supposed to be.

What it has always been is a binding legal contract in which a woman exercises her social worth (babies), and the man gets to work his ass off in order to support his wife and child(ren).  Love and intimacy are discussed on daytime talk shows, and rarely if ever, demonstrated.  Or rarely demonstrated after you “put a ring on it”.

To be honest, it sounds like you are already divorced.

Is it cheating if you find another job if your current employer stops paying you yet demands you continue to work for him?

Is it cheating to satisfy your needs with someone else if in your current relationship, your current partner isn’t meeting your needs?

Right or wrong doesn’t have anything to do with it.  We are talking about human nature and human needs.  We are also talking about breach of contract.

Great!  You’re a man of your word.  What is she?

I am a man of my word so that is not a option

What a load of crap; sorry to be offensive but if you are really a man of your word then you would have to hold her accountable to the word she gave you; and stand up for yourself and your needs.

She is neglecting her duty and commitments. When she does not keep her word then there is nothing to keep. It really is that simple.

Marriage is a contract. So to make it clear: One party does not hold up to their part; and the other party still has to hold up to it is morally wrong. Get that strait.

My advice is to swallow a two red pills to wash down the blue one you just took.

Also it does not hurt to shame her. That is right shame without shame. Take all of her arguments of why she can not be a good wife and trow them back in her face; let her know what kind of POS does behaves the way she does.

Who is the idiot? Her or you?

Take your time with the answer. I can wait ?

I have one simple rule in a relationship. Put-out-or-get-out, it works both ways and more that just sex.

To have you come on this forum like we are some kind of emotional tampon for your woes blows me over. Again I do not write this with meanness; I am hoping to give you the strength to see that you matter; your needs matter; and she is taking your for a hurtful ride. She is hurting you and using your good points to do it. Stand up for yourself without apology.

Its a losing game. The only way to balance the beam is withhold your contributions to her, which will create resentment, which is like pen on paper…ot doesn’t erase.

Be sure and park your empathy for her somewhere out of reach and lose the keys. Because she has already done the same, if she ever had any to begin with.