I’d like to give a quick account of a recent occurrence here in Seattle. We West coasters and in particular, Northwesters tend to be a bit more nontraditional when it comes to buying women drinks. It’s considered to be a bit tacky to both ask or offer but many still do.

Anyhoo, recently I was at my favorite beer dive when a not very attractive and somewhat over weight girl plops herself next to me and engages me with flirty behavior. I’m not rude to women so I joined in a conversation about this and that with her. She said she had recently moved here for med school from someplace in the south.

Great, I’m a nurse. But talking shop or anything interesting or related to anatomy pr physiology with her was making it clear that she had no real passion in these areas. Whenever I meet other men and talk shop, regardless of their profession, at least some form of spark lights their eyes and they usually talk with some pride about their knowledge or expertise in their field.

Not her. But what came next nearly floored me.

She suddenly explained to me how different Seattle is and that where she comes from men always offer her a drink. I gave her a noncommittal reply that yes indeed, the Northwest is a bit different in this respect but that’s how things are here. Usually this would be a strong hint for anyone that no free drink is in the works but she brings it up again with a sort of tense insistent outrage that I haven’t heard before.

Needless to say, she didn’t get a drink and the mood turned sour, as if I had transgressed against a god given right of hers. Even more hilarious is that some beta friend of hers who had suddenly joined us was sitting quietly next to her and never said a word for fear of upsetting her or his meager chance of getting in her pants that night.

I gave her my best classic cold charm bid you adieu and ignored her from then on.

So why am I proud enough to post this here? Because back in my navy or college days I still bought drinks for women for introduction or out of hope that this would make them like me.

I laugh at how long of a way I’ve come. So how would you have handled this? Done anything different? Better? Similar encounters?

TBH she sounded like a bitch that wanted a free drink to validate her ego in spite of her extra weight. That’s a 4-6 dollar whiteknight tax I’ll not be paying either.

So why am I proud enough to post this here? Because back in my navy or college days I still bought drinks for women for introduction or out of hope that this would make them like me.

Well that thought of your past is shiver inducing.

But allow me to offer a hearty slap on the back for you progress. Bartender get this man a beer, he earned it.

peterfa wrote:

I can’t remember who, but someone here said to look at her shoes, and then tell her no. He said that’s the one thing that best destroys her ego. Look her up and down, see her shoes, then say no.

I have gone as far as giving a sideways glance raising an eyebrow and then giving a dismissive grunt and looking away.

But Yikes! To add in checking her out all the way to the shoes and then saying no,.. been a while since I’ve gone to a bar I’d have to factor in my odds of getting attacked for that one, that’s brutal.

And she would be around a nice group of girls also trying to pay for med school, at least that’s what they all say.

I would have probably said something along the lines of:
“Men who offer free drinks to women they don’t know are no-account cads who are only interested in sex. Women who accept free drinks from men they don’t know are whores who are no better than they should be. Seeing as you’re from the South, I’m truly surprised you don’t know this.”

peterfa wrote:

I can’t remember who, but someone here said to look at her shoes, and then tell her no. He said that’s the one thing that best destroys her ego. Look her up and down, see her shoes, then say no.

I can attest to this. I don’t know why the shoes are so important to them, but they absolutely are.

I can’t remember who, but someone here said to look at her shoes, and then tell her no. He said that’s the one thing that best destroys her ego. Look her up and down, see her shoes, then say no.

This is interesting. What’s the theory behind it?