I say this to you as someone who has been through the same exact thing, both with an overweight smoker AND with a mother.  The only thing I can conclude is that you’ve become emotionally attached to her (which, as a man in his later 20’s as I am and have been through this several times, can understand).  Women with kids AND women who are a little larger in size tend to have a huge amount of desperation in them.  The mother will want you to become the father of her kid eventually (though she will most likely flat-out tell you “don’t worry, I won’t make you be a dad to my kid”), and the overweight woman would likely not want to see you working out anywhere as it would bring down her self esteem to see you better yourself.

Those are huge reasons why I won’t date a mother or a very large girl anymore.

Combine that, and you have a deadly combination physically, emotionally, and financially.

My foresight in this tells me that if she JUST got out of an abusive relationship, she likely misses that kind of relationship on the inside.  She may not miss the guy she left, but she misses how she was treated.  If you’re kind to her, she’ll use that to her advantage…until she finds another man (or woman, in what happened in my instance) that will treat her like garbage.  She’ll also very likely want you to pay for her habit (the smoking) when she can’t afford it.  I’m seeing MANY red flags.

I’m not normally one to stand up and tell someone what to do or anything, but this spoke to me way too deeply and I would HATE to see someone suffer what I’ve been through multiple times.  I’ve been with the overweight, the smoker, the mother, and a combination of all before.  They always, <b>always</b> ended up leaving me for someone else, or at the very least cheated on me behind my back with someone they found “better.”

RUN FURTHER AND EVEN FASTER.

As I said before, she’s looking for a new daddy for the kid, a financial provider for both her AND the kid, someone she can be lazy off of, and someone she can continue her old habits with.  Over time, it will only drag you down with her, and that’s NOT something you want to be caught in.  At our young age, it can still leave a mark on us mentally.  It sure did for me, and I had to seek help for it.  I’d hate to see another well-intentioned man like yourself fall into the bottomless trap hole of unofficial fatherhood.

Don’t just run, FLY ! Fly FASTER, FLY FARTHER! DON’T LAND! WAIT TILL YOU’RE OUT OF GAS!!!!!!

FLY!!!!

Fly until you can no more!!

Seriously, if she JUST got out of something abusive, and let you get THAT far, she’s definitely looking for a rebound, and you seem like too good of a guy to BE that rebound.  Pull a Shaquille O’Neal on that woman’s attempts and BLOCK that rebound!

Alphanick2.0 wrote:

She also just got out of an abusive relationship, two days before I met her, and I suspect she may have a hidden agenda.

The above tells you everything you need to know. Have you ever been called Daddy by another man’s spawn? It’s awkward, and it’s even more awkward when a court makes you Daddy.

Have you considered that she may be bulls~~~ting you?