She knows I stop to rescue turtles flopping across the road when I see them, and shoots me a pic of her neighbor’s turtle that just laid eggs.  I reply simply that it is cute, can’t wait to see pics of the turtle babies.  Pretty standard stuff, so you’d think.

I get back a freaking endless email from her bitching about how this 39 year old turtle has likely never encountered a male, and it produces these eggs annually since 2001 very much like a woman’s menstrual cycle, and how nature saddled women unfairly with this burden, and blah blah f~~~ing blah, and how life is unfair to women.  I didn’t even bother to get to the end of that s~~~ – just scrolled for 2 pages and clicked next.

If female turtles are as bitchy as that formerly kinda normal nag, no wonder that f~~~ing turtle can’t get a guy after 39 years. Male turtles know something all the manginas and white knights are too stupid to figure out.

This is the pic that set her menstrual obsession off …

On a side note…She sent you a picture of this “turtle?”  Please correct me if I am wrong but, isn’t that a tortoise?  I mean, no wonder a TURTLE wouldn’t mate with this TORTOISE.

If she is that daft, then LOL!!!

You could always show her your “turtle” and leave a massive steaming s~~~ in her toilet – one that doesn’t flush away after several tries.