My current (ending?) relationship started seemingly well enough. We both seemed to enjoy many of the same things and hit it off. She was recently divorced and I later found out she was divorced prior to that as well. She claimed drug use and abusive behavior from the exes, and didn’t get anything so far as money or property either, so I bought it. I’m pretty sure she has cheated on me at least twice. My friend found her on a dating site with a new and incomplete profile, called her out and she claimed ex messing with her (BS likely, but I later found out she was talking to him on and off). Stupid me started paying her bills like 4 months in. She got fired and kept me in the dark for over a month, pretending to get up and get ready for work in the morning and do who knows what all day while I was at work earning money to pay her bills. So many red flags.

So many lies, always some almost plausible excuse. Like lonely because one night a week I usually meet up with my two remaining male friends (my only holdout I haven’t budged on), then with the bipolar… Freaking endless guilt trips. Whatever I didn’t buy she’d make up the difference with verbal abuse. Then she says she doesn’t want to keep me from my friends but she quickly eliminated any female friends and slowly cut off my male friends except one friend she knows and another that we usually hang together with. The nagging. She used to enjoy going out for drinks, but now she drinks only a couple times a year and other than those occasions is extremely hostile at the mere thought of alcohol. So I get nagged if I have a beer with dinner, or a couple on the weekend, and it’s outright hostility if I have a beer with anyone from work or a male friend. For a while she had me believing I was an alcoholic while I was averaging a six pack of microbrew a week. Don’t get me started on when I stopped taking her out for drinks because she’d get stupid drunk and make a scene at the bar or restaurant every other time out. I see it just one branch of hostility towards anything I enjoy.

It’s impossible to have an intelligent or intellectual conversation with her about anything anymore… She now has zero interest in discussing work/career goals, how things work, philosophy, ethics, finances, goals, work… Oh she hasn’t worked since she got fired from her job despite me going out of my way pulling strings to secure two decent paying jobs in her field (she has a degree, worked, and made well above median income when I met her). She did take a part time minimum wage job for a week or two and got fired for not coming in when she was needed. I used to have a criteria for women I’d date or get involved with that they had to have their finances in order or at least make median income just so I wouldn’t get stuck paying their bills… No idea WTF happened with this one.

I was getting angry with how she would spend her allowance (f~~~ing insane I ever gave her allowance, like a child), on top of paying her fancy new car payment. So I cut it off. I have a lot more money and have been funneling it all into paying off debt and increasing savings. I no longer worry about what she spends money on and instead focus more on enjoying how we spend time together. She seems to be less happy though, and critical of the time we spend together as insufficient or just sitting around (though she’ll never articulate what she’d like to do, after I worked 12 hours).

For example we ride our motorcycles around the other day log well over 100 miles stopping at various points for a meal, ice cream, see sights, etc.. We stop at a dock on the river and take in the sights and some guys pull up in an old ski boat and one of them runs across the street to get some beer. She immediately becomes tense and hostile. Did I mention I have an old ski boat and she gets to spend weekends all summer on the water? Yeah so I ignore her comments and go over to talk to the dude about his boat and the river, she won’t come and goes to be angry sitting by herself. So I have a great chat and meet a new ski buddy and my girl is angry because I was talking to the “trash”. That is a prime example of any given day I spend with her, she just seems to be waiting for me to be happy or enthusiastic in some way and then cut me down. Throw in with the motorcycle rides she wants to go places but only fly and if I ever convinced her to ride for any several day trips like I want to do it would have to be staying at fancy hotels, camping is out of the question. She claimed she loves camping when I met her, but later on clarified camping means renting a cabin preferably with plumbing or at least on site facilities.

Anyhow, she called off our wedding after I pushed the issue of a prenup. Had zero interest in hearing what I wanted in it and didn’t care that I was totally open to whatever she might want, but just stating that the default prenup the State gives you when you sign the dotted line is absolutely not ok with me. I just wanted assurances of protection of premarital assets, equitable distribution of postmarital assets based on gross income percent mine/hers in the event of divorce, and no alimony. She flipped and is p~~~ed at me. Now she’s moving back in with her parents but says we’re still together, she just needs time to focus on herself, find a job, get her life together. I think she’s realized the well dried up 6 months ago when I stopped giving her any money and it’s not getting replenished with marriage. I believe despite what she says she really wants to distance herself and test the waters for another man who will pay for whatever she wants so she doesn’t have to work while keeping me as a fallback plan until she’s hooked the next sucker.

How the hell did I go from independent and carefree loving life and not growing too attached to women to letting one run my life? I want the good life back. Had a work trip a while back busting my ass for over a week across the country from her. After a day or two I didn’t miss her and just enjoyed my work and bonding with other good hard working dudes in the evenings. It’s hard in the short term but I think I’m ready for a red pill.

LONG LIVE MGTOW

I believe despite what she says she really wants to distance herself and test the waters for another man who will pay for whatever she wants so she doesn’t have to work while keeping me as a fallback plan until she’s hooked the next sucker.

Yep, she is!

Sounds like you’ve really got yourself a Section 8 Klinger here The GoodLife. You already know what to do, but being a half decent guy you try to rationalize, find solutions to make it work and actually give a damn. Women don’t, and this one has displayed it. Welcome and I look forward to reading how this situation unfolds.

your presence here brother..has already answered your own question, take the pill, REMOVE HER from your life, and begin to experience a life of freedom, success, and unlimited opportunity.

DeepInThought wrote:

You already know what to do,

Smitty the Great One wrote:

RUN, don’t walk away from her as fast as you can. Don’t look back, you’ll thank me later.

DITTO!