What would you tell this guy?

“My wife has been abusing me for almost seven years. im scared. she completely controls every aspect of my life. i recently recorded a 34min conversation where she describes, admits and even brags about a lot of the abuse but not all of it. I’ve contacted detectives without ever receiving a call back. im disabled now, most likely from the physical abuse and i just need some help. someone please just listen to my video and help me before she either kills me or puts me in jail for false accusations again, which she also brags about on the video.

we have two beautiful baby girls that i have been taking care of by myself since their births and if i leave she has said she’ll hurt them. idk what else to do. also, my wife is racist so i also have to be racist to pacify her. but i am no racist. someone just please help.”

••••••

I’m also thinking that this guy thought his precious Cupcake “could never be like that” in the beginning and that he might have also shamed other men into marrying because “they don’t know the fun they’re missing.” Hell, my own mother sounds no different than this guy’s wife.

My only advice is to take his girls and get the f~~~ as far away from that state as he is able.

Call the cops. Have them escort him out of the house.

Live with friends. Live with family. Get the f~~~ out of that bitch’s radius.

YOU CAN LEAVE.

You CAN.

He’ll probably feel guilty for years after…

Although this guy can be forgiven for not having had as much practice at escaping as I have, that doesn’t mean I’m going to be that easy on him.  However pathologic a relationship is to either, or both participants… they both chose to be there.  Each of them is there for a reason.  Each of them is there because there is a need that is being met.  When the cost becomes greater than the benefit for one of them, it will no longer be paid and the relationship will end.

If he were a woman complaining about an abusive man, my advice would be to get the hell out.  I would give that advice because from my point of view, there is nothing an abusive person could offer me in the way of benefit that would inspire to accept that abusive behavior.  But that advice is obvious, or at least it should be.

The reality is that an abusive person is defective.  And far too often, when the other person in a relationship with that defective person asks for help, they are not asking for help in escaping the relationship.  Instead they are asking for help in their effort to try and change their defective person into something not so screwed up.  They want help to ‘fix’ that defective person that THEY CHOSE.

Once they make the decision that they are no longer interested in ‘fixing’ that person, they rarely need much help in escaping that person.  Last year we saw the news story about two women who’d been kidnapped, chained up for years… believed to be dead…  But they intended to escape and they did.

When this guy makes a real decision to escape, the amount of effort it will take her to actually keep him in that relationship will not be worth it for her.  She is in that relationship for a reason also, and when he stops serving that purpose for her, whatever it is, she won’t want him anymore anyway.

Stop meeting that need and walk away…

The threats were real, the fear was real… I pretty sure the gun she waved in my face was real… but once I was out of the state and she was out of my life, she faded away like a bad dream. I never spoke to her again.

You might say that a 19 year old should just stand up and say “f~~~ you” but years of manipulation and emotional torture add up and even the strongest asshole can grow to fear a 50 year old female… especially one as skilled and unpredictable as she was.

Back then I was still weak but these days my “f~~~ you” finger is locked, loaded and ready to fire at a moment’s notice. Nevertheless I still hold back occasionally… the programming to serve, protect, love and cherish females, no matter how vile and despicable their behavior may be, is hard to break completely.

I feel for this guy and if he has any friends or family left in the world, they should extract him.

1. She’s already had him jailed… this will severely damage his credibility in most legal forums. In some states, he can be jailed for recording her.

2. He is disabled, which will limit his ability to advocate his position effectively.

Frankly, this situation is extreme.  Were it me, I’d metaphorically throw the hand grenade in the tent. By this I mean I’d take the recording and contact disability advocates (including any organization that he may be receiving disability compensation from), media outlets and a civil rights attorney who specializes in protecting the disabled under the Americans with Disabilities Act and has been admitted to the Federal Court Bar in his area. This attorney needs to be a man.

Then: DOCUMENT THE S~~~ OUT OF EVERYTHING. (this cannot be stressed enough), take notes, use Evernote if you don’t have paper. email notes to yourself via webmail such as gmail or yahoo, so you get the timestamp. That way people can’t say your email journal was made up later. Then continue to record and upload it to the cloud.

The disability advocate’s job is to protect their clients, so they will link him to resources to protect himself and assist him through the process. Assuming they don’t, that’s where the attorney comes into play. Disabled People have certain protections under civil rights law.

If the appropriate authorities don’t take action to protect this person, file a federal suit in the closest federal court and then do a press release and have the attorney schedule an interview on the local tv station and/or other news outlets. Having the attorney make it happen will create and mitigate many credibility issues SJWs use to disavow or ignore his claims. Once his concerns start being taken seriously, everyone sobers up and he gets protected and most likely gets custody of the children.

Initially, they will try to silence him, but as long as he has an attorney, they will usually jump the shark and settle case once they sober up. Most attorneys only go to trial once every 5 years, unless they have criminal experience, or were a military jag attorney.

The most important thing is to paint this as a DV against a disabled person, not a MRA/MGTOW fighting a woman, as this narrative is a lot easier get traction. DV against a disabled person makes the perpetrator, even if a woman, look like a complete asshole and is a lot harder to defend against.

Those are my initial opinions.

It’s one of those fked up relationships that if you try and help …. they’ll both turn on you.

He just has to open the door and walk out.

Hell he could even plan it over time ….. but …. he’s still trying to reason with the unreasonable.

Do nothing ….. it won’t work coz they’re both screwed up.