listen, he said, you ever seen a bunch of crabs in a
bucket?
no, I told him.
well, what happens is that now and then one crab
will climb up on top of the others
and begin to climb toward the top of the bucket,
then, just as he’s about to escape
another crab grabs him and pulls him back
down.
really? I asked.
really, he said, and this job is just like that, none
of the others want anybody to get out of
here. that’s just the way it is
in the postal service!
I believe you, I said.

just then the supervisor walked up and said,
you fellows were talking.
there is no talking allowed on this
job.

I had been there for eleven and one-half
years.

I got up off my stool and climbed right up the
supervisor
and then I reached up and pulled myself right
out of there.

it was so easy it was unbelievable.
but none of the others followed me.

and after that, whenever I had crab legs
I thought about that place.
I must have thought about that place
maybe 5 or 6 times

before I switched to lobster.

“the great escape” from Sifting Through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way by Charles Bukowski.
Ecco Press, 2004. ISBN 9780060527358

That sounds like the department I used to teach in.  The height of the idiocy of that establishment became apparent when I was threatened with severe disciplinary action if I didn’t immediately cease and desist having my students address me as “Dr. Vertical”.  The claim was that it “intimidated” the little kiddies, making them afraid to ask me questions, and, thereby, preventing them from learning anything.  (Never mind that I actually earned my degree and the title that came with it and that the provincial government, through the university, granted me the right to use it.)

Those threats started soon after I got my Ph. D.  Nearly a year and a half later, I quit, walked out the door, and haven’t set foot on the premises since then.

I no longer respect most academics and educators.

That… was an awesome short read. Have you by chance read “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene?

Yes, but it’s been years now. I recommend it to anyone, and I should reread it myself.

– Deleted on Request – wrote:

immediately cease and desist having my students address me as “Dr. Vertical”.

They had their knives out, didn’t they? I’m so glad I was never in the meat grinder you were.

“Oh yes, there are worse things than being alone, but often it takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it’s too late and there’s nothing worse than too late.”
― Charles Bukowski

Charles B. was a wise man with a great way with words.

EDIT: @keymaster, you should give a look at “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. It is a good candidate for the book page, although it’s kind of not in print anymore.

There’s a reason why:

http://www.phdcomics.com

goes by the name Piled Higher and Deeper.

One thing I found out about grad studies:  it’s largely about politics.  If getting a Ph. D. had much to do with talent and hard work, many universities would have to close because they can’t find enough people to fill the faculty positions.

RoyDal:

Indeed, there were long periods of frustration, despair, and boredom.

As for what happened at the place where I used to teach, the incident I described was one in a long line of them.  Almost from the beginning, certain people took an intense disliking to me and one, my former office partner, started working on getting rid of me.  It got worse when he was promoted to assistant department head and he began throwing his weight around.

The department head I started with retired and was replaced.  It didn’t take long for that twerp to start bad-mouthing me to the new boss who, as it turned out, eventually had his own reasons for making my life miserable.

The idea that academics and educators are cordial and civil with each other is baloney, largely perpetuated by cheap novels and trashy Hollywood movies.  Shortly after I started grad studies, I got roped into being the representative in the department meetings.  There were times when I swear that fistfights were about to break out.

Most academics I’ve known are actually quite bright, but they did have a rather restricted view of the real world.  They tended to act as if, for them, anything outside of their hallowed halls either didn’t exist or, if it did, was an aberration.  They also behaved as if they were above the rest of the human rabble, accountable to no one but themselves.

As a practicing professional, I took exception to that as I learned even as an undergrad that the public welfare came first and foremost.  As my education increased, that increased in importance.

I have to agree that they were petty and spiteful, often stooping to underhanded tactics to get what they wanted or get revenge on hated or despised colleagues.  That is such a problem in the academic system that there are a number of websites devoted to this subject.