We all have a preconceived notion of what the term “Gentleman” actually means but they all seem to differ, and in my opinion, are all equally stupid.

A “Gentleman” is expected to open the door for a woman, wait by the car door to open it for a woman, pay for a woman’s meal, and essentially lay down for a woman out of some ill advised belief that women are somehow superior? I realize at first glance it seems like men are supposed to do this because we are, in most cases, physically stronger and are supposed to take control of a situation. With that said, women don’t allow any man to take control of any situation anymore. All these gestures are insinuating is that women are superior to men. Women deserve to have the door held open, women deserve to have their dinners paid for… WHY?!

The answer I hear most often is “well that’s just how I was raised and the way things are.” How stupid of an answer is that? Some people are raised to join Al Qaeda and fly planes into buildings. Some people are raised to put on a white hood and join the KKK. Being “raised” a certain way doesn’t mean it is the right way, that is a bulls~~~ philosophy.

The idea of a Gentleman was brought about in a completely different era. A Gentleman made sense when women didn’t have the right to vote, were forced to stay home and cook/clean, weren’t allowed to work, etc. What do we have now days? More women are going to college than men, they are paid just as much, more and more female executives are entering major company roles, and the household dynamic has flipped 180 degrees. Women don’t stay home and cook or take care of their husband the way they did in the past when they deserved to be treated by a Gentleman. They have changed, so the idea of a Gentleman should therefore be thrown out the door.

This begs the question, why is the idea of a Gentleman still around? It is completely outdated and ridiculous. The fact is, women are now reaping all of the benefits of a “feminist society,” yet they are also still keeping all the benefits they had in a previous era. Sounds like a win win for women and Vice Versa for men.. In the society that we live in, why do women deserve some sort of special treatment? If all of the feminists are fighting for equal rights for men and women, why are we still acting like gentleman? we’re all equal right? Why aren’t women opening the door for us?

Women love to complain about sexism, lack of equal pay, they want everything equal.. until they use the quote “well he’s supposed to do that because he’s the man” and it is completely acceptable. How p~~~ed off do all of these women get when we say “well make me a sandwich, you’re supposed to do that because you’re the woman.” Women absolutely HATE being told to “make me a sandwich,” why should this be any different?

I’m going to stretch this even further.. Everyone remembers the movie theater shooting back in 2012 in Aurora Colorado right? Clearly this was a tragedy and I am not going to comment on the incident. What I am going to bring up are the guys who laid on top of their girlfriends to risk their lives for them. I get it, it sounds prestigious to be a hero and lay your life down for your girlfriend but guess what? He’s dead now. She’ll move along quickly and probably has another boyfriend by now. The guy’s life is now over because he was trying to be a “Gentleman.” Why is her life more important than his? The answer is simple.. It isn’t.

Guys.. Stop using being a “Gentleman” as an attempt at bolstering your ego. You are gaining absolutely nothing other than respect from a couple of 70 year old ladies who believe you are a “nice young man.” Being a Gentleman is going to turn you into a pussy who puts women on a pedestal and guess what, she’s just going to cheat on you with a bad boy down the road. Everyone knows being a gentleman doesn’t get you laid anyway.. get a motorcycle, some tattoos, a “dangerous” demeanor, and maybe even a “good looking” mugshot, if you want to do well with women. If you want to be her gay friend, keep opening those doors and paying for dinners… pussies..

As you state the old social rules such as: holding doors, paying for meals, etc. are redundant. They are out-dated and a hinder to men.
If women are those independent, strong people they claim to be let them pay themselves, let them hold their own doors.
I don’t argue that.

But gentlemen where more than just men who followed these social rules.
Gentlemen were also well-educated, cultured, civilised men of means and status. Whats wrong about that?
Wouldn’t men be better off with a higher enrolment rate in universities?
Wouldn’t it be better if we actually had means instead of having it all taken away by some slut?
Shouldn’t we all strive to act somewhat civilised (to both men and women because we can make a point without throwing a fit).
Isn’t competition, such as competition for the best status in a group, something inherently male?
I think these are the traits a true gentlemen should aim for, not some laughable obsolete social code.

What I’m trying to say is; be a true gentleman, not the gentleman that women want.
Be that educated wealthy gentleman, not that personal bitch of an ATM that the old social rules want.
Be an actual gentleMAN, not a pussy.

If you are referring to the word gentleman as a way to describe a refined man, then I absolutely agree with you.

The reason I posted my reply was because being a true gentlemen (in the sense of being a man of both wealth and status, someone other men can look up to) has for a long time been a personal goal. Therefor I wanted to add a little differentiation between the majority of chivalrous doormats and the few who are gentlemen without actually losing their manhood.

That said, I hope that with what I learn here I can be a better gentleman, and a better example for my fellow men.

However, what I do like and also is very interesting is the real meaning of gentleman as it was originally used:

If we trace etymology or the beginning of the meaning of the word “gentleman”..from etymonline.com
gentleman (n.)
“well-born man,” early 13c., from gentle + man.

The Gentleman is always truthful and sincere; will not agree for the sake of complaisance or out of weakness ; will not pass over that of which he disapproves. He has a clear soul, and a fearless, straightforward tongue. On the other hand he is not blunt and rude. His truth is courteous; his courtesy, truthful; never a humbug, yet, where he truthfully can, he prefers to say pleasant things. [J.R. Vernon, “Contemporary Review,” 1869]

Related: Gentlemen. Gentleman’s agreement is first attested 1929. Gentleman farmer recorded from 1749.

Notice, that the definition says nothing about female, woman, or feminine. By this definition, the today’s world
it means merely manners, courtesy, politeness, and being civil.

No, I wouldn’t throw my jacket into a puddle, but I would grab the arm or say ‘watch out’.

But from the above definition of the word that stems from the 13th Century.. as men, we have allowed the definition
to change. So with the original definition, is that bad? So if a man was taught to be courteous, clear, fearless, straightforward, and
truthful, then how did we turn gentleman into a bad word?

This girl i used to date was observing men and taking notes on everything they did wrong.
Her mother had brainwashed her into thinking they wouldn’t be good enough if they didn’t hold the chair for her to seat.
Coming for a single women who got a baby out of wedlock with some african guy who’s now homeless,
i think that was really not appropriate…

The problem is with being a doormat or to cling on a woman beyond reasonable efforts. Be assertive, crystal clear about your expectations, respectful, nice, dare to talk in PERSON and selfless. I can’t tell you how wonderful (from moderate looking to hot as hell) women you would get to meet and have quality time with them (it does include sex).

Being gentleman has nothing to do with your success ratio with girls. Let’s say you slept with 100,000 women and I slept with only 10 or so. Is this make you more of a man than me? Am I going to feel inferior? Hell no! When I judge my life, I do count many more factors which includes good relationships as well but not limited to it. I open the door not only for girls but for everybody. It is in my blood and I do enjoy doing it. I dont need to get sex to validate myself in return. If I hold a door for the pregnant lady or help a man with too many grocery bags makes me less of a man?

Respect is earned, to do it give respect to get respect. Period. I dont need to tell about my women. I never have had period in my life where I didnt have had access to the intimacy so I dont know what is the problem with being gentleman? We should also stop all the charity or donating thing all together, after all if we can support ourselves why cant they, right?

This is my opinion only or how I live my life. Being gentleman is about how do you really enjoy yourself and let other people enjoy your company without sacrificing any of your need.