The other issue I faced was the emotions that came to the surface for me when writing my introduction.

A member has requested I re-edit and resubmit. I thank this member for his interest in my story. He has highlighted the probability that maybe others can learn from my journey. It is with this in mind that I take the time now to re-edit, though I am choosing to leave it as raw as it came out, as it was and is very real to me. Also editing it too much will just do my head in. I have added a few more details. I hope someone may find it either entertaining or useful for their own development.
I would also like to say that sharing my story, accompanied by the acknowledgement and genuine understand by MGTOW members has been food for my soul.

Ok here’s some of my story. I have always pursued the females. This is how it generally has been for me and I’m over it. I’ve been and I am lots of things including an entertainer. I’ve f~~~ed lots of women. I would describe myself as a kind, gentle and generous person. Like a lamb ready for the slaughter (though not anymore).

Sperm donation #1

When I was 23 a 32 year old woman made herself available to me and she stated that she couldn’t get pregnant. After 6 weeks of casual encounters I realised she was not much fun to be with and I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with her. So she f~~~s off for a few weeks and then contacts me to say she was pregnant. I had no say in it. She didn’t want me in the child’s life at all. I left her to it for a few years. I tried to get involved when my daughter was 7, then 11. The mother was having none of it. This daughter is now 25. She wants nothing to do with me as the mother has ensured that her toxic potion did its job. I was nothing but kind to her mother.

Years past and I weaved my way through the narcissistic minefield that is the pursuit of vagina. Anyway I actually thought I wanted to be loved and to love.


Sperm donation # 2.

I wanted a family in my late 30’s. I was living in another country. I met a woman and very quickly she became pregnant. I wanted it to work out so much I even married her to prove it. She kicked me out of her house 21 days after the wedding. I was kind of glad because she was doing really weird s~~~ to me like deliberately keeping me awake at night when I had to work the next morning, trying to isolate me from family and friends, relentlessly making nasty personal comments to me. I could go on a bit hear but I’m sure you get the idea.

In a way I was trapped. How could I walk out on a pregnant woman? How bad does that look? This sense of duty, coupled with my desire for a family and the fact that I didn’t want to look like the bad guy, made me try even harder. Or should I say, put up with a whole lot more s~~~.


So I tried to reconcile a few times for the sake of my held ideal of loving and nurturing a family and of being loved and nurtured in return. She would just start with the s~~~ again and then kick me out or I would leave. I now know she was doing me a favour.

My second daughter was born. Up until she turned 4 I was still giving the mother ‘one more chance’ to show me love and respect. She just returned to the same script. I returned to my home country as I did not have the resources to stay and fight to be in her life. As it stands I have a 10 year old daughter and we now live on opposite sides of the planet. Her mother had a young daughter when I met her. She recently had her third child. She moved in with the father briefly but now she is single once again. She now has three children to three donors.


Now for sperm donation # 3 & 4.

I continued to play the dating game. With all the stupid s~~~ one has to put up with. I’m sure you guys know what I’m talking about. Then I meet a woman who was 11 years younger than me- I was 42. She seemed gorgeous and intelligent. (I was f~~~ing seriously hypnotised) I wanted a family.

She made all the promises. She even started a University degree because she knew I wanted a woman who would contribute to the finances. Everything was going to plan (I now know it was her plan, not the one I thought) Two children followed in quick succession. I looked after the babies while she was supposedly studying. Her behaviour went f~~~ing off the rails.
She never even bothered studying and she quickly dropped out. She picked a fight with a pregnant woman at a children’s playground for no reason, she was stealing from me, lying to me. There is not enough space here to describe the hell I was protecting my 2 young children from as she would fly into rages. Threatening to kill the children, threatening to take the children away and I’d never see them. Lying, cheating undermining. F~~~ me the stories I could tell. (Research cluster B personality disorders and in particular, Sociopathy and understand that she unleashed all of it on me- more about that in the next bit).

Anyway I managed to convince her to see a shrink. She suggested she see the one she had seen previously before she met me- a man in his 70’s- highly qualified and experienced.

I went and saw him too, but separately. Her behaviour worsened.

She pressured me into having a vasectomy. I would not have had this procedure if it was not for her C~~~ING PRESSURE AND ABUSE. I was willing to try anything that might recapture the (fake) bliss that was the beginning. As I was waiting in the pre-op room, I realised I could have just walked out instead of being mutilated, but I chose to stay and now I don’t regret it. I can f~~~ my brains out if I want to and no C~~~ can use me as a donor anymore.

Anyway, finally I could take no more. I couldn’t have the children witnessing this appalling behaviour anymore.
I pulled the pin. She exploded like FATBOY!

I went back to the shrink and said ‘what the f~~~ is going on?’ He said ‘Well, she has a personality problem.’ I said ‘What is that?’ He said ‘She has Narcissistic and Histrionic Personality Disorder and she’s a Sociopath, and it is obvious when you first meet her!’

WHAT THE F~~~!!!!!! Oh my god. I say to him ‘Why didn’t i see it?’ He said ‘AH, you were naïve!!’
NNNNOOO!!!!! So I started reading about that serious mental illness and realising I’m F~~~ED!!!. At the same time, this SPATH is riding the f~~~ing 3rd wave of feminism pipeline on the long-board of Victimhood. She gets to rip my kids’ away, label ME as the perpetrator, herself as the victim and the Feminist MEN AND WOMEN of the family court help this C~~~ to continue to F~~~ ME OVER!!!! FFFFUUUUCCCKKK!!!

Calming down now. Sorry guys I’m still in a pretty bad place. I nearly killed myself not long ago. I want to say that the abuse I and my children are suffering has been made worse by the laws and sick, toxic third-wave feminism. I am a Primary (Elementary) School Teacher. I love children. I am kind and gentle and nurturing. I possess all the nurturing traits the C~~~S think they own. WELL THEY F~~~ING DON”T OWN LOVING AND NURTURING!!!! I’ve f~~~ing cried a full bucket of tears and spent weeks in the fetal position as I try to overcome the grief of getting my own children ripped away from me. FFUUCCCKKKKKOOOOFFFF I did all the night feeds, baths, changes, playing with them while the LAZY C~~~ got fat on the couch. Then when all the hard work was done, she f~~~ing steals them from me. I’m F~~~ING ANGRY. FFUUUUCKKK!!!!F~~~ no s~~~ aaaarrrrgghghhhhhh!!!!! MEN CRY AND HURT TOO YOU F~~~ING C~~~S BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS ITS F~~~ING REAL!!!!!!!!!


Sorry guys- writing this is bringing it all up to the surface. I think i will appreciate the support here. Anyway I realise I have spent my whole life playing a game that is rigged. How f~~~ed up is that? And I know you guys know exactly what I’m talking about. I have a dream – yes a dream where feminist men and woman are f~~~ing burnt at the stake, then gassed in the Chamber and then flushed down the nearest sewer where they can REST IN S~~~!!! Preferably their own s~~~ because f~~~ me it is the most rancid s~~~ there is. RIS FEMINISM!


I am a broken man. I feel like a horse that has been in battle against a poison jelly fish on the beach. The poison f~~~ed me in the end. The faithful tide of Feminism came and saved and nurtured her again and again while I was slowly destroyed.
So I have two little girls 4 and 5 years old. I was their primary carer (week about) from when the youngest was 7 months until she was 3 and ½. The court cared S~~~ about that! The mother has a slightly older daughter from another donor.
The mother has recently met another donor. He looks like he has had a hard life and he looks like he is very involved with the lovely little family he has. SHE IS PREGNANT!!!!! I feel for him because I know her illness is such that she will soon purposely destroy that security he thinks he has. He looks vulnerable to me but that’s his thing to learn. Maybe he will be her first trophy on the wall. She didn’t claim the head of the donor of her first child. She nearly claimed mine. Oh f~~~ yeah. I nearly went and threw myself off the second floor of the family court building. A very fitting end but thank F~~~ I didn’t do it.

Thankfully the court has granted me the privilege of seeing my daughters 4 nights a fortnight. I’m so drained. The C~~~ and court has sucked my life away. My children do nourish my sole. But I’ve got a long road ahead at the age of 49. Especially with a cluster B F~~~ING FREAKING NUTCASE who will be trying to stick pins in my eyes until the day I die.
Sperm donations 5-18

Years ago when the entertainment pathway was out of my system, I went to University. It was then that I answered a call for sperm donors of the official kind. One got paid to wank. One got paid to get health checks. I know my donations produced children that now range in in age from 6-14.

Why have I shared this? Good question apart from the fact that it fits within the theme of my life.
I offer no advice to anybody. I have no regrets except not recognising cluster B staring me in the face. I’m clued up on that. If I had been before I wouldn’t have two little girls who fill me with their love when the feminist-approved time lets us. I am presently deeply wounded. I almost lost my life.

I played and I lost again and again. I will contradict myself now and will offer this advice to anybody who wants to read it. NEVER KILL YOURSELF. In the past when I’ve felt all f~~~ed up, things always got better. This is what I’m holding on to now.

To finish I’d like to share with you one of my Red Pills. The Pill bottle I have is a 44 Gallon drum.
My Lawyer suggested to me that my Spath EX would be seen by the Family Court as ‘the poor young woman victim who has been abused and controlled and manipulated by an older man’. She was 37-me 48. Yeah right! She was/is a f~~~ing abusive controlling C~~~!!!!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

I realise I have spent my whole life playing a game that is rigged

But you’re absolutely right. +1 for you for coming to the realization. Unfortunately some men remain in the matrix forever.

Congratulations on your escape from the plantation!

There is something really powerful about telling your story here amongst free men who understand you. And everyone benefits for the process. No one will judge you here for the choices you made in the past. We all understand the process is messy/ cathartic, especially for someone who has been behind enemy lines for a long time. A lot of scars and damage is to be expected.

Your career as a primary school teacher is rare for men and you provide a valuable service. My son and I were lucky to find a good teacher. He was excellent because he was a man. I will write a little more about him at the end. As a parent, I have a tremendous debt to pay to him. So, I know about the good things you do and some of the problems you face on the job.

There is no grammar police at MGTOW. Everyone is encouraged to get there story out any way possible. We all understand that there is a process. We are happy to have you on the MGTOW road with us.

That being said, since you outed yourself as a teacher, an educated man, there are standards to keep up. No, I am not addressing the rough language. I prefer crude language when describing the C~~~ocracies. We are all men here. I am writing to tell you that it is possible, even now, to change the format errors in your story.

Because of my experience working with teachers in primary schools, I know your great value. And I loved reading your excellent story, so here are some tips using an analogy from construction:

Like choosing to mix your cement in a wheel barrel instead of on the ground, there are advantages to writing your larger stories in a Word file first. It is good for everyone involved, when the story gets at least one edit.

Posting on MGTOW is like pouring your cement into a form. The option to add pictures and YouTube Videos is like adding rebar for reinforced concrete.

There are a couple opportunities to edit your post after you submit your story. For several hours there is an edit button on the upper right corner of your post. This is like “Cement Finishing” which is an art form where you can make everything look good. Sometimes the pictures don’t work and it requires another attempt.

Cement takes about a day in mild weather before it is fully set and up to full strength. If you are unhappy with the job, it is easier during this time to bust it up and start over. It is possible to send an email with your corrected introduction to the MGTOW editors and request that they change your post to the corrected version, especially if you only have a few comments added to your introduction.

I look forward to reading more of your posts.

My son’s teacher was a professional football player who was injured and had to give up football. He was able to do things at my son’s public school that no one had the b~~~~ to do. My son got lots of time outside and was taken on many field trips. My son’s blocks to learning were removed by this wonderful man. His teacher was also a carpenter and built things in the class room to make teaching more fun. Kids could climb up into a mini fort to read books in private. His class was like a Rudolph Steiner school.

The concept of “Unschooling” from the Home School movement was created by teachers. My hero of the homeschool movement is a man named John Holt:

I’ve found stoicism to help give me some grounding, here’s one such link:

http://99u.com/articles/24401/a-makers-guidebook-9-stoic-principles-to-nurture-your-life-and-work

Best to keep your mind off it by doing hobbies you like, reading a book, and exercising to help you cope with the rage and hopelessness you feel. If at any time it gets bad just take deep breaths to relax and walk around a bit and it will subside. We all been where you are with the rage I look forward to reading more of your stories and wisdom you have to share. Welcome to a new beginning brother we will walk with you along your journey to health and happiness once more.