I place personals ad seeking a woman.  I am pretty goddamn clear that I want someone mature, who has her s~~~ together, single, no drama, etc.  You know, the standard “tolerable” criteria if you are going to have a broad around your house.

I get a response on Tuesday, Dec. 16, from what claims to be a cute 30 y.o. (babies rabies!  AHHHH!).  Bear in mind I’m 47 but whatever….she is cute so I respond with a rather neutral response, “Hi.  How are you doing?  Thank you for responding to my ad.  Please tell me a bit about yourself and I will do likewise.”  I kept it cordial.  We exchange about 6 or 7 emails and she offers up her phone number.

We exchange some text messages on Thursday and Friday.  At this point I am already having doubts as she has to get to bed by 8-9pm and she works a job with “normal hours”.  Lazy much?  I am off work Saturday so I am thinking we can meet for coffee and see how it works out in person.  Before I can even get that thought out she informs me that she is going to her sister’s house for the weekend.  When I do offer to meet with her on Sunday she informs me this is her “lazy day”.  So obviously she can’t be bothered to take the time to meet me in person.  So I basically just leave it all with “well, I am available Tuesday evening so reach out to me if you want to meet for coffee.”

Now fast forward to this morning (Monday).  I get a text message from this dips~~~ informing me, “You’re not very attentive so good luck to you.”  Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot?  UN-F~~~ING-REAL!!!!

Now, seeing as this is Craigslist I have taken in to account that any of the following could be possible:

*She is really a fugly troll

*She’s a man baby!

*She’s married

*She’s a wackjob off her meds

*She’s just a sadistic c~~~ with an axe to grind who gets off on f~~~ing with men

In any case, I took a minute and sent this “person” the following e-mail.  I hope she enjoyed it because it’s how I really feel about women in general.  What do you think?  🙂

Stephanie,

I normally wouldn’t waste my valuable time bothering with a message like this.  However, you really p~~~ed me off with your rude text message this morning.  Where the hell do you get off telling ME that I’m not very attentive?  Puhhhhlease!  How’s that for grammar?  First, you contacted ME!  Second, you were obviously too busy going to bed at 8 and 9pm every night.  I tried to make plans for coffee with you but you were too busy for the alleged trip to your sister’s for the weekend.  When I tell you I am free on Sunday you tell me that’s your “lazy day”.  Give me a f~~~ing break sweet cheeks!  If anything, you couldn’t be bothered to make the time to take 30 f~~~ing minutes to meet for coffee.  I already got the idea that you are a lazy slug simply based off the few interactions we had.  Either that or you found yourself a “better deal”.  Regardless I could care less at this point since it’s obvious you are a self-entitled narcissist.

I don’t know who you are.  Hell, you may not even be who you claim to be which is entirely possible.  There’s no telling seeing as how online dating is tantamount to a freak show.  In any case, if you REALLY are who you say you are then you need to learn some manners and realize this whole male/female dynamic is a 2-way street.  Let me guess?  You are one of these “independent-I-am-woman-hear-me-roar” types who still expects a man to trip all over himself for your company?  Let me clue you in honey…typical women are a dime a dozen.  Good women are extremely rare….like “I saw Bigfoot” rare.  Guess which category you fall in to?  Or are you really married?  Is that it?  Who the hell knows?  In any case, I hate to break it to you but you are NOT a special princess who is entitled to the princess treatment.  I guess I should be thankful that you revealed what a high-maintenance head case you are up front.  I would have put you on the curb in quick order as soon as you started that bulls~~~ with me anyway.  I don’t have the time or patience for it.  So, my advice to you is to grow the f~~~ up, learn some manners, and learn to treat others with a little goddamn courtesy regardless of gender.  That little piece of advice will get you a long way down the road.  Oh yeah, and burn whatever silly books you have been reading about dating i.e. “The Rules”.  A “real” man won’t tolerate games and bulls~~~ from ANYONE.  If you can’t grasp this advice then stock up on Meow Mix and sensible shoes darling.  You’re gonna need them.

Toodles!

Bitch is Crazy and is a “Like to Play Games” Hoe.

The behavior from the Crazy Hoe above is one of many typical behaviors from Craigslist and POF Bitches.  The first time she was showing her ‘Alleged Unavailability”, I would Ghost Dog her and move on to the next Craigslist Hoe.

You simply cannot conduct yourself as a Nice Guy with these Craigs’ Bitches…like you are trying to Wife Them.

You goal should be to “Pump and Dump”.   You are Sonny.  She is “Share”.

My response:

Let me clue you in to a few things.

1. I never asked you to drop your family or anything for me. Rather, I respected your time by leaving you alone to do whatever you needed to do with your family.

2. If I had texted and/or called you over the weekend then I would be “too needy or clingy” and “not respecting your family time”. Rather I left you alone because I knew you said you were busy with family. Then I get a rude f~~~ing text from you on Monday first thing telling me I’m not very attentive. Give me a f~~~ing break! Can’t you see the scenario is a lose/lose for me? Typical woman drama….nothing a man can do is right.

3. I don’t really know you. You really don’t know me. I showed you nothing but respect and courtesy in all my communications with you…up until the point you pulled the trigger on the disrespect and rudeness with your text message this morning. I clearly left the ball in YOUR court to contact me whenever you could free up some time to communicate and/or meet with me. Excuse me for being a f~~~ing adult about it!

4. As for not contacting you all weekend see #1 and #2 above. And to make the same point as you made in your prior response, “Why are you so important that it necessitates me dropping everything over the weekend just to call or text you when you are clearly busy?” After all, you are just some chick online. Maybe I actually have a life and have more important things to concern myself with? I bet that never dawned on you huh? I don’t know you and you are of no significance to me at this point (and definitely won’t be now).

5. In this day and age of the “liberated independent woman”, you need to learn that the phone works both ways. The ONLY time YOU initiated ANY contact with me via phone was to tell me how I wasn’t “very attentive”. Way to make a good impression! That was extremely rude and made you come off as very self-absorbed and self-centered. I didn’t realize you were such an important person. My bad….

6. Not that you will ever know but I bring A LOT to the table. I am successful. I am very financially solvent. I like to travel frequently and see new places. I am very talented. I have a lot going on for myself. Oh yeah, and I AM good in bed too. And what do you bring to the table? Vagina and drama? No thanks! It’s near impossible to find a bona-fide adult attached to a vagina anymore. Sex is easy to get but it would be nice to have more than that. So, go on and blather to your girlfriends how there are no “real men” left. F~~~, you wouldn’t know a “real” man if you tripped over him. You want some pussified white knight who will prostrate himself at your feet. Sorry, but that’s not me.

And to quote your last message, “I can see why you are single!”. Get used to it because that is your future if you continue behaving like a little girl. No “real” man wants to deal with that s~~~. Have a nice life.

CL is a load of s~~~, you get nothing but spam mail and gay men message you.

Hell, I have a good friend of mine who has been doing match.com and e-harmony. All he keeps coming up with on those paid sites are dinner whores and unbelievably high-maintenance bitches who are deluded in to thinking they are all princesses. It’s all a joke and some people are paying for the privilege of this headache! AGAIN, NO THANK YOU!

We need a “tips” section on how to get prostitutes without getting busted. Some of us have never resorted to that avenue although I must admit it has the most appeal to me now. Why beat around the bush and make pretense. We are all just going to pay for it anyway. Might as well just make it a bona-fide business transaction like buying your groceries at the market!

Soul Man Number 1 said: “We need a “tips” section on how to get prostitutes without getting busted.”

Take a planned Holiday to Australia.  Brothels are legal, regulated and a Ton of Frucken Fun.

Also…try Swingers Clubs.  They are Legal and a great place to Pump and Dump and Re-Pump.

<cite>@theninjauwannah8 said:</cite>
Take a planned Holiday to Australia.  Brothels are legal, regulated and a Ton of Frucken Fun.

Also…try Swingers Clubs.  They are Legal and a great place to Pump and Dump and Re-Pump.

Right on brotha! Australia has been on my radar for a long time for a lot of reasons. Now that I am free of the child support shackles I can get a passport and travel! Australia and New Zealand are at the top of my list. I may re-visit my option to take a job in the Marshall Islands as well (Kwajelin). That would put both those countries at my back door! WINNING!

I think most of the women at the Aussie brothels are Asian/half Asian/or black from what an old air force buddy told me, so if your looking for a red head, Nicole Kidman lookalike pros, your better off going to Scotland, IRE or Mother Russia. YMMV.  Bronzed skin is looked at as low caste in that part of the world (even in Aus carried over from immigrants), and that’s usually what you find in the brothels mostly.