I have a female-friend (I think I still can call her that), whom I know since my childhood. She was the trigger for me achieving what I achieved (without her being in my life I wouldn’t have started some of my journeys) and me realising how blue-pulled I was. Plus, she was always with me when I really needed it and helped me.

This all sounds blue-pilled and naive as if she’s some kind of a unicorn, maybe.

The point is that since taking the red-pill I developed some level of distrust to all females I interact with and I constantly look for motives why they try to spend time with me. I don’t give them much of attention and I really start to see my interactions with then as business-transactions and I give them something when I get something in return. And this works. The same applies to that friend. But…

Let’s put aside my “friendly feellingz” towards her- there are advantages of why I should continue interacting with her, it really benefits me since she can provide me some things no one in my life can at the moment.

But I still run into problems. With all of the initial distrust, with all of my cold hearted approach to every other female, with all the knowledge I know possess, my defence breaks down with her. I behave so pathetic when I am with her, I behave so f~~~ing feminine, that I am ashamed of it. I have to control myself in order to stay strong.

I have different theories of why it’s so – she seems to me as some kind of mythical projection of friendship, I put my defence down because I can’t believe that she would ever hurt me, or I just try to escape reality when I am with her. I don’t know.

The thong that surprises me most is that I have mgtow knowledge in mind all the time, but I still do all of the written above reflectively. I am glad that I do this with just one person in my life, that I don’t let anyone else affect me in the same way, but the problem is the problem.

The only solution I can see at the moment is controlling myself and not allowing myself to behave like a pussyfied idiot.

How would you deal with this situation? Or behave?

sorry for ranting, I am so confused.

However, distance yourself and see how she responds. When I distance myself from female friends they get very confused/ mad as if though I’m their property. Analyze her behavior with your newfound knowledge.

Jump through rings of fire and even feed her by hand.

However …… ALWAYS have a whip and gun on you …. ALWAYS 😆

It so happens I do have friends and relatives who are female. When they whip a plate of emotion out, I don’t eat. No one is responsible, or to blame, for another’s emotions. Do not take another’s responsibility on yourself.

“You made me feel _____” is a statement that could not be more false.