http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-marriage-counseling-leads-to-divorce-wcz/

My tip would be to get a very well regarded NLP life coach.

That decision saved me a fortune as the wedding got called off and there was no divorce. She is not entitled to child support either so I can and do spend that money on the child rather than it going on drinking, pampering and clothes etc.

She is not entitled to child support either…

Why isn’t she entitled to CS?

The therapist was a mangina who thought everything was due to me not being supportive and understanding, he was so bad even my ex realized he was full of s~~~. She had a streak of good in her, but she was still mostly a woman.

Now that’s saying something!

As expected, the therapist thought it was most, if not all, the man’s fault. It never ceases to amaze me how the term “not being supportive and understanding” gets thrown around against males. In doing so, they’re not showing any support or understanding for the male’s position. It’s hypocrisy.

So you see, my anger and PTSD was the problem and not the ex wife’s behavior I found to be enraging.  I would be enraged not just because of her behavior but because it had been going on for years.

After we had been in counseling for about a month, I came in to the session and said, to the effect:

I want to start over.  My wife is a mind game playing, control game playing, un-affectionate, un-apprecitive, relentless nagging harpy that compares me to her father and won’t even let me use the toilet in peace and privacy.  She has denied her behavior.  Right now she is sitting in this office like some put upon martyr.  Her very demeanor is a lie.  That she denies her behavior is a lie.  The reason that she lies is the same reason that she treats me with dignity and respect when we are in the company of friends and family.  That reason is that she know that her behavior is morally and ethically wrong.
From this moment forward, her behavior, as I have described it, will be treated as a fact rather than a figment of my imagination.  Any lies in behavior, demeanor, inferred, implied, or if I get a psychic vibration that she is about to lie in thought, word, or deed, I will then give her two choices.  The first choice is the I take every opportunity to humiliate and degrade her.  I will call her family members, describe her behavior, ask if she exhibited the same behavior as a child, or ask if the was generally accepted behavior in her household.  I will do this as often as possible.  I will then ask her mother and father if they will take her back.  The second choice is that we can file for divorce.
I am ready to begin.

The article that you linked, in my experience is bulls~~~.

The first two points of the article seem valid but….

We have a “short-term” view of love.

In my experience it is women that have a short-term view of love and most everything.  I could cite examples but……..you would be here all day reading them.

We live in a trade-me-in culture.

I wasn’t raised that way.  From my observation, a lot of other men aren’t so valueless that they will ditch their wives at the first sign of trouble.  Women on the other hand….they emotionally ditch their husbands starting at “I do” and ending the first time their feet go in to the stirrups.

Most counseling takes place in an office where the therapist and client(s) talk.

The point of this section is that communicating about your issues may not be the best way to come to terms with the problems in a marriage.  Bulls~~~.  If you wife keeps behaving like a c~~~, how is not talking about it going to improve the relationship?  To be honest, if she is a c~~~ then your relationship is already over.  Better to drive a steak through the heart of a vampire than let it keep running around sucking the blood and life out of you.

Most counseling is geared towards the way women communicate.

This is so valid and obvious it isn’t worth commenting on.

Women are assumed to have more “mental health” problems than men.

In my experience…..bulls~~~.  My wife had been exhibiting signs of depression for most of a year.  I believe that it was postpartum depression after the birth of our second son.  I brought this up and it was discussed and glossed over inside of ten minutes.  My anger and PTSD however, was the central focus of both our counselor and ex wife during counseling.

I have to be frank with you guys.  If you are in marriage counseling, chances are one of you is already so emotionally unavailable that anything done or resolved won’t fix it.  The amount of bad blood between men and women that are married can’t be fixed with a moderator.  It can only be fixed with a divorce.  I separated from my ex-wife nine years ago and I still dislike her to the point that I avoid talking to her as much as possible.  I don’t see my attitude towards her changing at all, if ever.

I was actually the “Wife”. I cooked, cleaned and engaged in conversation always. It became ok for her to blow 5k a week because she was a financial planner. She made alot of money so, you know, its ok. I did my best for 5 years, helping her with the addiction. Enough was enough when she started to go to raves, take lots of drugs and bring complete t~~~s home afterwards. Eventually, I left. She now has stage 4 MS and is bedridden. Should I care? Of course I care. However I would have preferred she felt the wrath of someone she wanted to support and help f~~~ her sister in front of her. Or similar.

Yes, she was a high flying Financial planner. She ignored my suggestions to get insurance.

Anyway, I tried marriage again. Same result, for different reasons.

There’s no equality.  We are always the “You do it” humans.

What was interesting about this story is that her mother was the first person to teach me any real red pills other than Tom Lykis. She did it different where Tom labels all women (and thus couldn’t really win my trust), she took an analytical approach and pointed out what women do when the act nasty. Ironically, she was herself guilty of a lot of this and so was her daughter. In the end, she was seriously messed up (more than I ever was), and so was her daughter. Their family was dysfunctional. I came from a much worse family so I saw them as much better. I learned a lot from them actually. Got to give the devil his due.

Now the therapist was no idiot. He came from a terrible marriage to a narcissistic woman who slept around on him. She entirely did not care at all for his sake. She was selfish. He won both of our trusts.

What the therapist did that my ex did not expect was that he taught us to talk through our problems, to think and learn to lay down boundaries. It slowly worked, but slowly caused the undoing of our relationship. My ex felt unattractive and wanted to prove she was hot. Her mother wanted absolute control of her family. I wouldn’t buy into surrendering all control. Instead, I held steadfast with my decisions and wouldn’t tolerate her abusive crap. I demanded dialog (which I never got) and wanted a fair stake. Also, I was threatened by how my ex would tell her mother everything, but keep secrets from me. These things were never resolved. Later we broke up and my ex found a guy who she could control. She decided proving she’s hot was not worth her time (she had extra weight), but finding a guy she can control was (at least so I assess). They’ve been married yet.

So, our relationship was seriously ill. I grew through many of my problems and also learned that many of them weren’t really problems. I was just rubbing against the wrong kind of people (a lot).

So, not all therapists are manginas. Therapy is not inherently gynocentric propaganda. Therapists can fall in love with their patients, and they can pick sides. An attractive woman can sway a therapist. A good therapist would not be swayed. Too bad that happened. It’s absolutely crazy that the therapist in your case blamed her behavior on you.  You were an enabler, and I couldn’t believe your therapist couldn’t spot it. Addictions are caused and there’s a pain behind it. If she could recognize that pain, she could learn to quit. She never did. So, either she doesn’t care or it’s not the real reason. Either way, she isn’t putting in a good faith effort.

You might want to check his or her credentials, and also maybe lodge a complaint. You probably can’t get anyways.

Some therapists do learn and it takes time. I read a book by Scot M Peck where he talks about the naive therapist who learns. It’s a typical story about an abused woman. She talks about how she loves her husband and all this stuff but she gets hurt by him. Then the therapist learns that this is going on for years. Turns out, the woman is really a sadist. She loves watching him crawl back on his knees begging for forgiveness. She feel superior to him and loves it. That’s what she’s after. Knowing this, you think he’s a far better person than she ever has been or ever will me.

Actually, it was therapy that taught me so much about life. It was therapy that gave me a great many skills my dysfunctional family worked hard to prevent from developing. They were afraid of losing control and being exposed. I was needed for their sick and twisted games. Except for my mother, who is co-dependent. The rest I just hate, like the bad kind of hate.

From this information I learned to suffer pain correctly (a big part of my problem is avoiding any pain at all, hence addictions). That means accepting the pains of life and of accepting information I don’t like. That then led me to Karen Straughen’s videos, which were eye openers. It wasn’t long before I switched coats and decided to go the MRA route.

Later I found MGTOW and was intrigued by Barbars self-improvement. I realized I had a deficit of development. Barbar figured out men are creative and that’s a big thing. We are. I want to develop this and exploit it.

I also used what I learned in therapy to decide if MGTOW was OK. It is. It’s because nobody is hurting anybody and it’s about withdrawing from this oppressive and dysfunctional system. It’s your decision, it’s your life. You do not require my permission. This is a boundaries issue. It’s not my business, but yours, so therefore I do not decide this for you.

Marriage on rocks, wife says all my fault.

Go to counseling by myself, cause its all my fault.

Wife says I am bipolar, Shrink disagrees, she is a female doctor for God’s Sake!

Shrink calls wifey for counseling sessions, wife cries for 30 minutes insulting, ME!

Shrink asks wife, “does husband have any good qualities?”

Wife says “Yes” starts crying again and bashing husband for 15 minutes.

MgHow says to Shrink Counselor- “I am out of here, there is nothing I can say or do that will change anything.

TRUTH IS MGTOW AND IS MGHOW. Peace, and be yourself and take care of the MAN!

My ex made me go to couple’s counselling when we were dating. The deal is I was messed up (and I was) and addicted to pornography. She wanted the therapist to fix me, and turn me into her cowboy (she was a country girl).
What was interesting about this story is that her mother was the first person to teach me any real red pills other than Tom Lykis. She did it different where Tom labels all women (and thus couldn’t really win my trust), she took an analytical approach and pointed out what women do when the act nasty. Ironically, she was herself guilty of a lot of this and so was her daughter. In the end, she was seriously messed up (more than I ever was), and so was her daughter. Their family was dysfunctional. I came from a much worse family so I saw them as much better. I learned a lot from them actually. Got to give the devil his due.
Now the therapist was no idiot. He came from a terrible marriage to a narcissistic woman who slept around on him. She entirely did not care at all for his sake. She was selfish. He won both of our trusts.
What the therapist did that my ex did not expect was that he taught us to talk through our problems, to think and learn to lay down boundaries. It slowly worked, but slowly caused the undoing of our relationship. My ex felt unattractive and wanted to prove she was hot. Her mother wanted absolute control of her family. I wouldn’t buy into surrendering all control. Instead, I held steadfast with my decisions and wouldn’t tolerate her abusive crap. I demanded dialog (which I never got) and wanted a fair stake. Also, I was threatened by how my ex would tell her mother everything, but keep secrets from me. These things were never resolved. Later we broke up and my ex found a guy who she could control. She decided proving she’s hot was not worth her time (she had extra weight), but finding a guy she can control was (at least so I assess). They’ve been married yet.
So, our relationship was seriously ill. I grew through many of my problems and also learned that many of them weren’t really problems. I was just rubbing against the wrong kind of people (a lot).
So, not all therapists are manginas. Therapy is not inherently gynocentric propaganda. Therapists can fall in love with their patients, and they can pick sides. An attractive woman can sway a therapist. A good therapist would not be swayed. Too bad that happened. It’s absolutely crazy that the therapist in your case blamed her behavior on you. You were an enabler, and I couldn’t believe your therapist couldn’t spot it. Addictions are caused and there’s a pain behind it. If she could recognize that pain, she could learn to quit. She never did. So, either she doesn’t care or it’s not the real reason. Either way, she isn’t putting in a good faith effort.
You might want to check his or her credentials, and also maybe lodge a complaint. You probably can’t get anyways.
Some therapists do learn and it takes time. I read a book by Scot M Peck where he talks about the naive therapist who learns. It’s a typical story about an abused woman. She talks about how she loves her husband and all this stuff but she gets hurt by him. Then the therapist learns that this is going on for years. Turns out, the woman is really a sadist. She loves watching him crawl back on his knees begging for forgiveness. She feel superior to him and loves it. That’s what she’s after. Knowing this, you think he’s a far better person than she ever has been or ever will me.
Actually, it was therapy that taught me so much about life. It was therapy that gave me a great many skills my dysfunctional family worked hard to prevent from developing. They were afraid of losing control and being exposed. I was needed for their sick and twisted games. Except for my mother, who is co-dependent. The rest I just hate, like the bad kind of hate.
From this information I learned to suffer pain correctly (a big part of my problem is avoiding any pain at all, hence addictions). That means accepting the pains of life and of accepting information I don’t like. That then led me to Karen Straughen’s videos, which were eye openers. It wasn’t long before I switched coats and decided to go the MRA route.
Later I found MGTOW and was intrigued by Barbars self-improvement. I realized I had a deficit of development. Barbar figured out men are creative and that’s a big thing. We are. I want to develop this and exploit it.
I also used what I learned in therapy to decide if MGTOW was OK. It is. It’s because nobody is hurting anybody and it’s about withdrawing from this oppressive and dysfunctional system. It’s your decision, it’s your life. You do not require my permission. This is a boundaries issue. It’s not my business, but yours, so therefore I do not decide this for you.

That is the happiest post I have ever seen. And very touching too.