MGTOWJust out of Jail – MGTOW https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/feed/ Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:04:00 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=2.5.14-6684 en-US https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/page/303/#post-65547 <![CDATA[Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/page/303/#post-65547 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 12:14:44 +0000 Robot112 I just spent 18 hours in Jail for assault. Apparently hit my wife. I didn’t but they didn’t care (UK). I’m charged with assault and out on bail. Wife borderline/Narcissist. Not allowed contacting her until trial which is good, but hear through people she wants me back bla bla, marriage counselling etc. How do you stay strong, been married for more than 20 years but always controlled and manipulated. She uses my love for our children including 3 year old to manipulate me … No money, not easy…Need strenght

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65549 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65549 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 12:31:09 +0000 Welcome, sorry to hear what happened to you.

Sticky situation you’re in. If there is no option hint willingness to go back to her. Especially if it helps with the trial.

Keep us posted.

I hope you weather the storm out. You married a she-devil.

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65555 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65555 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 12:58:57 +0000 experienced You are welcome here.   Do not initiate contact. Have proof that she keeps baiting you. Send info only via word of mouth – ie that’s what she’s pulling on you. Never answer her at a higher level of communication: via friends, then via friends. She Via text, then you via friends or via text. You ‘have to’ be able to prove in a legally binding way that she initiated all contacts.

If she emails you, Try to answer via email rather than only text.  The Email might get her to talk more and “do herself in legally,” although the texting at a busy time might get her to text incriminating info without thinking about it. Do it all IMO for God, and for your children. Be circumspect. “shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

Get sleep. You will require more sleep when under this level of stress. When you go to bed, shut off your phone ringer, let everyone leave messages, save ALL of them. Wear earplugs, tinfoil the windows, make it clear that your door is not to be knocked on. Try to keep that room cool.

Keep us posted.

Do not trust her friends, even co-friends.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65559 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65559 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:18:21 +0000 experienced Also, while this is all fresh and she hasn’t been briefed, she’s likely to be more of a “Chatty Kathy.” If you are told she said “xxxx,”  “xxxx” being incriminating, then immediately write those exact words down and get the person telling you this to sign it [and date it, etc]

If someone does a bank job, the authorities want all the details said, written, and signed[notarized may be needed]. The reason they do this is to get it accurately, fresh and correct, and most important of all – to cut the crap of eg. “well… he didn’t really point the gun at me and scream[when he pointed it half an inch to the left] and maybe he yelled and just asked loudly and needed the money yeah that’s it he came in with a water pistol, no water pitcher and politely requested money so as not to starve……

Sleep/eat/……….strike mentally while the iron is hot.

stay in touch with the guys here, they will help you a lot.

Also, you my friend are entitled to ask 10,000 questions here, you need all the help.

If you get back with her, always wear a voice activated voice recorder unbeknownst to her. Two different women: the one you were married to let’s say five years ago, vs the entity with the current track record of what she just pulled and will pull again. Do not ever allow yourself to make the mental error of thinking of her now as being who she once was and no longer is. She will do everything to try to get you to do this-don’t allow her to.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65566 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65566 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:30:27 +0000 Robot112 Thanks for all the comments so far. My biggest fear is to be weak and walk back home eventually and crawl back under her rule and live the rest of my life in misery and under constant threat of some other crazy thing she would pull because I don’t behave the way she wants me to.  She’s already started to text me with love messages etc. Of course I’m not replying, I would break bail conditions. But I need emotional strength.

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65567 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65567 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:30:48 +0000 narwhal How do you stay strong?  Because you love your children.  She wants to use that against you, but it is your strength.  Your children need to know that they deserve to be treated well, that they do not deserve abuse.  Give them the example of how to stand up to this kind of abuse, that they do not have to take it.  Your child may not understand while Dad’s not around right now, but they will see the truth one day, and want to follow your example.

Ok. Then do it.

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65575 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65575 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:44:50 +0000 Robot112 I get what you say but the kids may see the part of her asking for forgiveness and think  should give her a chance. They may not remember that I given these chances many times and fell for the same s~~~ over and over again only to be back under her thumb again 5 minutes later.

I will go through with this but Fear, Obligation and Guilt FOG, despite what she’s done, is somehow here. When will the FOG go away???

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65585 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65585 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:58:27 +0000 Crazy Canuck Keep all records including text, email, etc. Write all events as they go and get a recorder to record all events. You can use those texts against her during trial. Good luck mate you’re going to need it. If feel need to vent we are here for you.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65587 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65587 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:11:26 +0000 experienced Get a restraining order against her for communications if this is causing stress. Key here is to now internalize she doesn’t give a damn about your stress, only her wants. If you don’t get the restraining order against her harassment of you, at least know you can pull out a dead sea scroll across the courtroom floor to get it into everyones’ heads, the degree to which she’s a bitch. get your attorney, when the time comes, to push HER anger buttons when she’s in the stand. She won’t ‘get it,’ she’ll react, and all will see what a jerry springer c~~~ she is.   that’s right she’s a c~~~. the proof is in the jail time you did because of her. no man wants a c~~~ influencing his kids.  hope this helps .  do stay in touch with all of us here.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65588 <![CDATA[Reply To: Just out of Jail]]> https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/just-out-of-jail/#post-65588 Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:13:02 +0000 narwhal Robert,

Yes, you’re kids may think you’re doing the wrong thing, they may not like you for it.  Your job as a parent is to do what’s best for you and your children, not to do what’s going to get you well liked  It’s no different then telling them they can’t have candy for dinner.  Yes, they may even hate you for it, but giving in to that is not loving.

And your kids aren’t the only one that’s going to question and doubt your actions.  Family and friends will as well.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is the truth.  It can be very hard, but you know what you need to do.

And honestly, you do not have to completely write her off.  You can setup realistic conditions for forgiveness.  I did this with my ex-wife.  After the divorce, I considered what conditions needed to occur in order for me to consider remarrying her (for the good of the children and all).  She needed to illustrate the ability to handle money wisely for a couple of years.  She need to illustrate that you could accept live without constant change, that she can follow through with her commitments.  She would have to show respect and not attempt to manipulate.  Not difficult things, just things you could expect for a typical human being.

And of course, she’s done none of these things. Sure,  be willing to forgive her, but forgiveness is a 2 way street.  She actually has to demonstrate an apology AND a change in behavior in order for the forgiveness.  Otherwise, your just a fool looking the other way.   The burden is on her, not on you.  It may seem like you have the control, the power to make things work, but her behavior is the problem.  Without her changing behavior, there is nothing you can do to make things right, you can either accept that, or live in denial.

If she loves you so much, if she can behave like a proper wife, then she shouldn’t have any problems illustrating that for 6 months, a year, maybe two years, and EARNING your forgiveness.  And if she can’t do that, then she doesn’t get to be your wife.  And no, I’m not saying you should move in for a trial period (she should probably move out if it’s your home).  She can start showing go behavior from a far and earn her way back in if that’s what she truly wants to.

Ok. Then do it.

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