MGTOWI'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help? – MGTOW

I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

BlueToRed — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 04:49:02 +0000

So I told my mom last week that I don’t want to talk to her anymore as she only causes problems in my life. I told her this on the phone and then added specifically that I do not want any calls, messages or emails from her. But sure enough, I got an email the next day:

I spoke to a counselor about your resentment and disgust against me. There is something called parent alienation ( there’s a lot of nonsense about it on the net don’t need to read that) In the west it happens in divorce cases where one parent brainwashes a son or daughter against the other parent. Here, because of its backwardness, it mostly happens within families which are intact but where one parent is belittled and held in contempt by the entire family (normally the mother).

So if there is a continuous attempt to malign or belittle one person ( mother) by a family, ( as you have been exposed to all your life)

1. The children often join subconsciously in the vilification .

2. Then they develop their very own set of vilifications against the alienated parent .

3. They often include other members of that parents family in their disparagement

4. And they feel perfectly justified, with NO regret or remorse in vilifying or abusing that parent.

You are an adult; you can either think about it, and rise above it, or join the pack, and alienate me forever and lose much of the magic you were brought up with .

P S. No need to respond.

A little background on my life with her. Ever since I’ve been a kid I’ve been told that my dad’s family was horrible/wretched/backward and how they always oppressed my feminist mother, who only wanted equality. i was very protective of her and hated my dad’s entire family. Even my dad because of all the stories of mistreatment I had been fed. Though I never saw him mistreat her, but the other way around quite a lot. If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Did you notice the PS “no need” at the end? What a bitch. My response in the next post.

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

BlueToRed — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 04:54:50 +0000

My response:

Your analysis is wrong. You have to own up. I actually always supported you and stood up for you. Felt protective of my seemingly wronged mother. The reasons I want nothing to do with you are:

– Physically abused me regularly till I was 18. After I finally pushed you away, you learned not to mess with me, but started again recently. Make no mistake if you do it again I will not hesitate to break your face.

– Screamed at me regularly, sometimes hurting my ears. Beat your head against the wall, broke furniture, regularly cried hysterically

– Told me I’m completely mad, schizophrenic, crazy, paranoid, told me I have issues, made up a faulty egg theory that kept on changing itself to suit your devilish needs

– Trained me to be obedient. If I didn’t live up to your abusive expectations you would shame and guilt me… I felt it because I was too used to being treated like an inferior. You never treated me like an adult or a grown up and never allowed me to be one around you, even if I tried. You don’t respect me on basic, adult levels.

– You emotionally blackmailed me.

– Lies and instead of owning up to it, used it to support your crazy making and guilt me for calling my mother a liar. Haha, it’s funny HOW MUCH control you had over me. And sickening. Lied to other people. Involved them unnecessarily. Tarnished my relationships with them.

– Never kept secrets I trusted you with

– Discounting me, silent treatment, talking over me, making it sound as if I’m not letting you speak when I was the one who asked for the chance, saying that I always do this or never do that, saying that I’ll continue talking if you don’t interrupt or talk over me. Comparing me to wife beaters. All sorts of false accusations.

– When I told you this day would come, you acted like it was JUST FINE!

I’m sure there are more, but I can’t remember all that now. You have NO EXCUSE to treat me this way. If you think you do, that’s fine. I expect you to justify yourself. But I could care less what you think. At one level I don’t love you at all. In fact, at one level you disgust me. But at another I’ll always love you because you’re my mom and a great friend at times.

This kind of relationship is what some call “toxic”. I have no faith or trust in you that you won’t do any of the things mentioned above again. In fact I’m confident that you will do exactly those things repeatedly till kingdom come.

I’ll miss you, but it’s for the best. I need to save myself from you. Have fun being psychologically superior at manipulation….. seems like that’s what you care about the most. This chapter in life is OVER. No matter how desperately you try and recover it because remember, it’s a two way street and I decide whether I want to be a part of it or not.

I don’t. Goodbye and good riddance!

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

BlueToRed — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 04:57:33 +0000

Her final response –

its your choice. its like a record stuck in your mind. It is false and i will not accept the vilification and guilt anymore. You love to remember ONLY the few bad things. Repeat them over and over and over and over and over and over ad infinitum ad nauseum till they become HUGE an overshadow everything. Sad for you and me.Have a good trip. Forget me.

This has left me a little shaken. Let me tell you that my mother KNOWS what p~~~es me off. She can manipulate me with ease. She has total control over me. And now she has left me feeling guilty, ashamed, small, crazy etc…………………………… Is she right? HELP?? All my allegations are true btw. I’m not a liar :/

All I want to do now on some SICK level is go and say MOM I’M SO SORRY I’M SUCH AN IDIOT> PLZ FORGIVE ME!! >> I AM DELUSIONAL AND I NEED HELP. I AM MAD. YOU’RE RIGHT. IT’S ALL MY FAULT!! YOU ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR ME. I PROMISE I’LL GET HELP FOR MY ISSUES………………..

But you know what? All that she did will remain. The truth will remain. She’s a manipulative bitch. I know it, my instinct tells me what a piece of s~~~ she is. And that’s what’s keeping me from saying the above.

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

sidecar — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 05:45:51 +0000

Why are you even reading anything from her? Doesn’t your email system have mail filters? Have everything from her tagged as spam and deleted before it even hits your in box. You can tell her of that if you want, but I wouldn’t bother. She is clearly never going to recognize or accept any responsibility for her actions. She will always blame you or your family or some new psychobabble or whatever to avoid accepting responsibility. Logic and reason and honesty, not to mention introspection and self awareness, are clearly not part of her mental tool kit, and that’s not something you can fix. Maybe in the distant future when she is old and alone and wants something from you she might outwardly change her ways, but that is not your problem any more.

Keep going your own way.

Edit: Oh, and sorry to hear about that whole mess, too. If it’s any consolation, from what I’ve read none of this is in any way your fault. Or your responsibility.

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 08:38:13 +0000

Thats some twisted emotional manipulation, you need to just move on and stop talking to her for good. It seems apparent she wants you to see her as a victim.. just give up on her is my opinion. Good luck

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

TheBard — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 09:18:49 +0000

Don’t feel bad since you didn’t do anything wrong. She is the wrong who brought this on herself by telling lies. I am going through the same thing with my mom now. She is lying to her divorce lawyer and making things difficult for my sister, dad, and myself. She could possibly screw me over if she gets her way in court. What is worse both her and my dad are responsible for ruining 2 major things in my life which they don’t even know about. At least my dad is trying to make up for it but my is just being a pain. I would cut my mom out completely but the only reason I haven’t is because she is on my checking account and I want her off so she can’t take money when she gets mad at me. I told her I wanted her off because I am older and it should only be me on there but she keeps making excuses that she hasn’t had time to go to bank of america since there isn’t one close by. My mom raised me more since she stayed home while my dad worked so it feels hard to hate her but with what she is doing I can’t just continue to like her as if nothing has happened. My mom is also trying to play victim too, but a lot of things aren’t adding up. It may be hard to cut her off, but don’t stay around so she can continue to abuse you.

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

experienced — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 12:21:53 +0000

Friend, you’ve a serious vulnerability that must be addressed. A day or decade from now, a woman will attempt to arrive in your life who has the same non- erasable metal tapes of an abusive upbringing in her very core. Steer clear of her, otherwise, the sex will be indescribable, unreal, the most intense……. You are extremely susceptible to being ……..words can’t describe how overwhelmingly and completely you could be taken by her. Breaking it off would be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, if you are even able to do it. Again, people raised in abusive families misidentify abuse as love. they are like the lab rats who keep pressing the bar to get an intermittent jolt of electricity LONG AFTER the intermittent food was dropped, you see they “know” (quite incorrectly) that the shock means more food is arriving soon.. It’s called “working for shocks” in the hope of the food pellet, in the hope of love.

When she arrives, steer clear of her.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 12:42:39 +0000

@blue‘ta’red, my grandmother on my father’s side was just like that, she died a bitter old woman, had nothing but insults for my father, and us kids too, she always told us kids, her grandchildren, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, never had anything nice to say. My father left home at 17 and went into the USAF, He was much better off, and made a life for himself. She had permafrost wrinkles on her face, not the kind of wrinkles a happy and joyful person person has when they die. Your assumption of a “toxic” relationship is true and accurate…..

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

natsarim.mgtow — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 12:51:35 +0000

my mother taught me to f~~~, my father taught me to fight, when they died, divorced and separated near 50 yrs. i buried them side by side.
Stand no longer with one leg in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, p~~~ing on today.
Stop Fighting Back, Just Warn the Young Men.

Reply To: I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

Sky-☯️ — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:56:16 +0000

I had a relationship with my mother that had similar emotional and psychological dynamics. Then I found and read a book called ‘Children of the Self-Absorbed: Understanding the Narcissistic Parent’ and it helped me process the effects of my mother’s behavior on my own life as well as relieve myself of some of the inherent guilt I carried with me for a period of two decades related to her issues and disordered behavior.

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Self-Absorbed-Grown-Ups-Getting-Narcissistic/dp/1572245611/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427831752&sr=8-1&keywords=Children+of+the+Self+Absorbed