I just wrote like a book and then deleted it all because I’m not sure where my situation will go within the next month. My wife, possibly soon to be ex, is on a work trip for a month and we are not talking or anything during that time. Just some background info, for reference. We have been married 3 years together for 8, we are both 28. Love my wife, and I know she loves me, but maybe more as friends, at least that’s what she thinks. So similar to a lot of guys on here sex went to s~~~ right before the wedding, stresses her reason, and then we almost broke up after being married a year. We worked through it, moved twice and we are now in NYC. Sex never really got amazing again, but it went from once a week if lucky to 3 times minimum but still she looked like the old fish laying there, no matter what I did.

She basically throws the bomb on me a month and a half ago, and it was from out of no where. Because we were suppose to talk before anything hit the fan, and then she waits until it’s such a burden on her to talk to me…I smelled BS right off the bat. So long story short, I have gotten the I’m just not fully in love with you, or I’m not as attracted to you bull s~~~. So last time, we almost split, I know I know, I should have ran then…I begged and pleaded and s~~~. This time, I have basically given her the big f~~~ you. I’ve started working out even more than I normally already due, and many other activities to keep my mind off this stuff. I basically told her do what you got to do, and I’m going to do what I got to do. I could tell she didn’t like that. Hell I’ve gotten more passionate and better sex from her in the past month than in the last 3 years or more. She even gives me bj’s w/o asking, it’s like I’m in a bazaro world. But she is still saying how she doesn’t know what she wants and still wants to do the no talking next month.

I’m thinking she is just gently letting me down, instead of womaning up and just doing it. I want to stay with her, but then again, I’m in NYC, I can find a chick/ chicks that will want me. I don’t think she realizes I know this and she’s about to get, metaphorically speaking, slapped up the side of the face. She thinks I’m basically going to still be friends and that this will be a comfortable break up for us both. Yea I know I should be honest too, but it’ll be more fun to see her face when I tell her to take a f~~~ing leap off the cliff, along with her credit and chance at having anything else in her life. If it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have our place now, nor our car, nor her schooling. Thankfully I’m now off her school loans. But when the couple that owns the house sees I’m no longer there when she renews her lease, they will drop her like a fly. They value the credit over income at a lot of places for rent up here, and they checked it this last time we re-newed and I’m sure they will again.

So anyway, I’m glad I found this site to maybe see some more insight into the psyche  of these women creatures. Thanks a lot for making this honest site!

The only times when a woman gives an impromptu blowjob is when she is trying to secure a man.

But 3 years in, the only reasons for a blowjob are for her gain in some form.

Honestly I’d feel better if she came home tonight and said that she was cheating on me. At least I can grasp that, and leave. Right now, if I got fed up and told her to f~~~ off, mine and her parents and most of our friends would disown me because I really wouldn’t have much of a reason, due to not being able to explain it…lol. So it’s better to wait and if she makes the move, and least if I can’t explain it I’ll know I didn’t do anything to make it happen. Hell she will tell me now it’s not at all me, that any girl would want me…w/e the hell that means.

Is she seeing someone else do you think? Being away with work etc.

I think you’ve got to blank her feelings from your mind and just do what’s right for you.

Start your plans now, in secret, because she WILL change if she sees she’s coming second in this mess.

Play along with the game until it’s time.

We’re here ok

Welcome

From the looks of things, and this is just my opinion (take it with a grain), but it sounds very much like she may be cheating. Now, I may be completely and utterly wrong but, I call it like I see it. Amazing sex out of nowhere. Her wanting sex one minute and talk of splitting things the next. And a “business trip” of all things, and you conveniently don’t expect any contact from her at odd hours or otherwise?

It may just be she is trying to achieve an easy let down. Or it may be that she feels guilty, and wants to cheat but wants to keep you at the same time.  Another plausible reason is that she wants to cheat, but she wants to see that you still want her. Perhaps she internally gets a kick-out of that. When she sees you don’t give a flying f*ck, it makes just short her out mentally and she gets confused from it all. Who knows?

I only say this because strange things happened to the intimacy in my marriage right before it came to a grinding halt. My ex turned out to be pregnant, and we both knew I couldn’t have children.  WHOOPS!

All the signs were there, but I just played the willfully ignorant. And it cost me months of agony I could of been spared.  The key then, is to open your eyes, if you notice signs, no matter how subtle they are, identify and think on them. Rationally and logically, and I’m sure the answer will come as easy as your next breath.

Hope everything works out for you brother. Welcome to the fold.

She’s 28 and looking at the wall.

Bipolar is genetic, you have a bi-polar grenade headed for the wall, in other words; you have a live grenade in your lap…

It’s only a matter of time. Then BOOM!

While reading your story, I could not help but think of the “whoops, I’m pregnant” story that far too many men hear from their woman. It makes no sense for her to get “accidentally” pregnant in your situation, but women don’t have a lot of common sense.

Women think they can change men, and getting pregnant is a way for them to nudge you along to what they want. The reality: that doesn’t work. The sudden boost in BJs leads me to believe that she is trying to manipulate you in some capacity.

You are young and your marriage is short. Things will only get worse as the relationship progresses. It’s best to get out now while you still have your sanity and she doesn’t have you by the b~~~~ (read: stay at home mom with your kids).

No matter how bravely you face this … you still love/loved this woman.

Whatever happens you are going to hurt at some level. A few guys can take this stuff easily but most will beat themselves up to a greater or lesser degree.

Just know that we are here 24-7-365. Don’t bottle anything up … it will eat you from within.

Come talk …. it will help at least knowing you’re not alone.