We met at a cafe/restaurant. She got there before me and had already ordered her own food, good to see she doesn’t mind buy her own stuff. We ate and talked, things went smooth, we went to Dave and Busters played a couple games, then went to the mall and got some Boba Tea. She’s more interesting than most girls she legitimately enjoys video games and nerdy stuff like computer programming (things most girls hate.) There was light touching and arm/hand holding at points.

 
Date lasted about 4 hours, at the end I was dropping her back off at her car. I went for the kiss and she tells me “I don’t kiss on the first date” and then some stuff about how she just got out of a rough relationship only a week ago yada yada. As she leaves she tells me “I really hope to hear from you again.”

I’m a little confused here, what’s going on in this situation?
My current game plan is to call her back but to wait a while like 4 or 5 days. She doesn’t deserve my immediate attention (calling her the next day) because she rejected my advances.

Telling you that she just got out of a bad relationship, though, that’s a MASSIVE red flag for me. If you want to see her again, I’d text and ask her to explain that first. “Before I can see you again, I need to know the story of this bad relationship so I can have an idea how it might effect me if we were to get together.” Make it clear that this is a strike against her and will have a major impact on your willingness to meet her again. Then if it looks bad (she dated an abusive drug dealer who just went to prison for six months or something) you say “sorry, I can’t accept that” and move on. If it’s some bulls~~~ about “well guys are only interested in sex and I want to make sure…” then say “you obviously don’t understand men or want a normal guy in your life” and move on.

This is a either a bulls~~~ bluff To get you to overcommit before getting anything or she’s damaged goods and you don’t want her anyway. Either way, even f~~~ing her once is probably a bad idea and you should most likely bail right now and forget about her.

I don’t kiss on the first date

Such a lie is good start, isn’t it? Of course, she kisses on the first date, as every female does. When it is the right (most likely violent) guy, who gives her the tingles, she also f~~~s him on the first date. This was a classic s~~~ test and you failed it.

She’s more interesting than most girls she legitimately enjoys video games and nerdy stuff like computer programming (things most girls hate.)

“Nerdy” stuff like video games is mainstream currently and females always like mainstream. She will immediately start to dislike it, once it is out of fashion (most likely when this TV series “Big Bang” whatever ends).

Your OkStupid seeks for another beta orbiter to add to her harem and give her free attention. So even if she considers you bed material, she thinks you have to work harder for it than those other guys. Buy her more gifts (video games, hint! hint!) and so on.

Let’s face it: This date flaked and was a complete waste of your time. Drop her immediately by telling her she can f~~~ off, she doesn’t derserve your attention.

Note that monogamy, commitment, loyalty, protection, affection, or any other form of sacrifice from you are not part of this deal. Also, note that when you’re trying to get other needs met like affection and sex, this girl hasn’t shown much promise here.

If you have time leftover from getting laid by other women, and after you’ve gotten all your other needs met, whatever they are, and you want to spend that leftover time playing video games and talking, this girl may be useful to fill that time. Politely explain all this to her as you continue to pursue other women, and call her back when you only want someone to play video games with.

I’m doing no-contact until I call her in a few days for a second date. This let’s her know I’m not desperate or eager for her, but I will give her a second date at least. If there is no kissing during the second date I’ll next her.

TS said:

Your OkStupid seeks for another beta orbiter to add to her harem and give her free attention.

Haha I know, and I’m NOT that guy because I’m not texting her 24/7 in between dates showering her with attention.

Whatever happens with this girl I don’t care too much as I have other girls I’m seeing. Tonight I have a date with a girl I met at a club last week.

She’s not willing to kiss you on the first date

She is doing that, because she firmly believes she can do that with Gref and still get a second date with more free attention. And she was correct. 😉

She wouldn’t dare to tell something like that to a 6’5 tall gang leader, who would throw her away immediately, if she doesn’t get right on her knees and start sucking his dick. No, she would beg him for it on her first encounter with such a male and then try to change him. 😀

So, moral of the story: If a female tells you, she doesn’t do this or that on her whatever numbered date, it’s pure BS. Of course, she does. She is just playing the beta orbiter game with you, because she can. She is also a total slut, because only sluts need to play those games to pretend not being one.

My 2 pennies gref, I agree with others that she s~~~ tested you, and you failed. No disrespect, I have failed that one many many times. 😉

I agree with others that she s~~~ tested you, and you failed. No disrespect, I have failed that one many many times.

Haha okay, well how do I pass that s~~~ test then?

Haha okay, well how do I pass that s~~~ test then?

I would have steered the date in such a way to make sure that she was completely aware that she was at the disadvantage and had to be the one to keep me interested and not the other way around. The only reason she even tried that s~~~ test is because she got the impression from you that she could get away with it. The less you appear to care whether or not she kisses you/opens her legs, the more she’s likely to do it.

I’ve found this can be applied to any girl in any situation – The less you appear to care, the more interested they get. You are doing the right thing to salvage the situation by not texting her for a while. 3-5 days is good, make sure if you end up texting her first, keep it really short and keep the conversation down to 4-5 texts before letting her know you have something else you need to do and you’ll text her later (even if that’s BS) – That will send her the message that she isn’t particularly important to you and that she needs to pull her finger out to keep you interested. 🙂