In late 2006 (near Christmas) I found the woman I had been with for the last 3 years screwing another man, I actually caught them in the act. I didn’t lose my cool, I didn’t beat the s~~~ out of the guy; because no matter how much physical abuse I heaped on him & no matter how much verbal abuse I heaped on her would change what I had just seen. He fled the house, I never saw him again. I just shook my head at her & left to collect my thoughts, in that time away I went through several different emotions: shock, anger, rage, resignation, & when acceptance finally hit so did the realization that my life would be a million times better without her in it. I returned home, when I walked in the door she immediately started with the tears and mumbled apologies, I told her to save it. I let her know that there was no coming back from betrayal (something my father always told me) & that she had 24 hours to pack up her crap and get out, that we were done. She went through the usual limited repertoire of sorrowful expressions & actions that women don when they realize that they have gone too far, I wasn’t interested in any of it. My dog can do a better act after she has crapped on the floor, at least her sorrowful expressions are genuine.

From that point on I took many digital photographs of everything she packed & I recorded everything she said to me, and I let her know that I was doing this. When she realized that the game was up, I saw the true colors that I had never seen before (or that I had never allowed myself to see?). She threw insults at me, members of my family, & my friends. Threatened to attack me. Threatened to vandalize my vehicle and my home, she even threatened to kill my dog when I wasn’t home. I again reminded her that everything she had said was being recorded & she shut up. She was packed up and gone in les than 6 hours.

Over the next few week she sent me numerous emails & phoned several times, all of her apologies were rebuffed. I did tell her once that I had seriously considered forgetting the whole thing & taking her back, but the amount of venom and violent threats she threw at me made me change my mind instantly. This in fact was not the case, I never considered taking her back. I was just launching my own poisoned barb, making her regret her actions. Petty, I know. But damn it felt good!

So, all she had to do was remain faithful & she couldn’t even do that. The consequences for her was having to begin paying her own way through life. When I last saw her, she gave a genuine (sounding) apology & said that she truly regretted her actions years past. I thanked her for showing me the true side of most women & that I couldn’t give two s~~~s about her apology.

Now the only female in my life is sleeping on the floor beside me (my Irish Setter; Sadie). She enjoys hunting, camping, fishing & all the things that the ex did her best to keep me from.

Sorry for the long post, but I thought that I would share everything about the event that opened my eyes & made me take the next exit to my own road through life.

A Hearty Welcome to you Brother.

After going through my break up I have often though, as you did that I should have recorded everything, because even to this day she will deny, embellish, or call me a liar….anything but admit any wrong doing. Any man reading this…especially you young men, thinking ” not my girl” (nawalt) , listen ……WHEN YOU FIND OUT, PLAY IT COOL! Don’t blow your top (useless ). Do what Albertan here has done, record, get your facts straight, be prepared….because women are past masters of this s~~~ and will blow you out in bubbles and take everything you have if you are not prepared.

I admire your reaction, really! I wish my clarity about my last girlfriend came so fast. But anyway, what you and some others already mentioned – theres no future with a person after betrayal. I do not get whats so hard to follow such simple rules. If I’m single i can f~~~ around like i want, but if I establish a serious commitment I stick to it. It’s not that hard, but for some – men and women – it seems to be.

For me it’s a sign of a weak character and immature attitude.

All the best for your journey mate!