I don’t expect responses, advice, or anything really. This post is for me. I need to vent this somewhere, and MGTOW feels like the most appropriate place. But if I don’t do this, I may just get drunk alone tonight…again….

I visited some of my friends this weekend that I hadn’t seen in many years. The last time I saw them was when I was dating my ultra-evil-AWALT-ex. So, as you might expect, and to my extreme discomfort, there were conversations about my ex. How things went down, how everyone thought she was the wrong one for me, and all that jazz. I tried to keep it cool, but inside I was twisting in pain with every utterance of her name. Every moment I had to remember and convey to answer a simple question felt like my heart and b~~~~ were being crushed. I made it through, but I was certainly not in a great mood when I left.

On the way home, I spoke with my sister shortly about relations~~~s. Unfortunately, this did not improve my disposition.

Today, I encountered my roommate and best friend and asked him what he had been up to this weekend. He said he was at my ex’s birthday party. My heart sank to the floor and I wanted to tell him that I wish he wasn’t her friend and that I hope she is miserable. I know it’s unfair to ask the former and I know the latter is not the case, and probably never will.

As you may have guessed: I’m still very emotionally upset about my ex and previous relationship. She pops into my thoughts quite frequently, ruining my mood, interrupting my leisure time, and I can’t see her name or hear someone talking about her without going into all-out emotional shutdown. Unhealthy, sure. I’m in therapy to fix it, but it’s been an incredibly slow process.

I get that I dodged the marriage bullet. I get that lots of MGTOW have it worse. I get that complaining about my ex and my continued emotional pain is the definition of “first world problems.” And I get that this is really the only place that I can write this without ridicule or echoes of “suck it up”.

…I think I feel better? Maybe another beer wouldn’t hurt…

I knew I needed to get into something as I tend to take these things badly. so I started focusing on my body and working out like hell while studying nutrition and what helps maintains a good bod. I’m also expanding my mind into new subjects and I will stay on this path as it is serving me well .

Without her f~~~ing me over I probably wouldn’t have done this. so make some massive changes and take it as a blessing.

fall in love with your self again and they will come to you. We shouldn’t have to chase these creatures.

Your worst day can become your best day

Peace and love man

Also travel helps. Get the hell out and hit a major City like NYC, LA, Miami, etc. for a few days. I find that can help too.

Again, I’m still struggling with the idea that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I’m trying to make the best of it: planning trips to foreign countries; buying things I want/need; and not engaging with any women beyond the friend zone.

Anyway, one of the thoughts I had after finishing that post: I’m legit afraid of my roommate and her beginning to date. I don’t know what I would do that about that…

Weakness repels , strengthen your body and your mind in full knowledge that you will be a better person at the other end.

If you do start to think about her then just thank her (in your head) for doing this too you because let’s face it, it was gonna happen eventually and your going to be so much stronger as a result.

Hard to see it like tht just now but it will come.

These people are ment to pop up and do this s~~~ to us so we can get training for the next level.