Here we are paying for services and salaries, such as grocery store clerks, waitresses and the like, and a great many of these employees are showing open indignation and entitled rudeness towards men because it has become socially acceptable, and without repercussion.  White Knights, Manginas and the likes have fed right into this by laughing, nodding dumbly and “manning up” with a half-wit smile on their faces while being openly and publicly insulted.

I was NOT in the mood for this blatant s~~~ today.  I’m still not feeling 100% after coming home from the hospital, and have been pretty much laying around and reading while recuperating.  I’ve been eating a pretty bland and easy set of meals as I don’t feel much like cooking lately, but I thought with today being Friday, I’d celebrate a bit.  Having phoned in an order at Swiss Chalet for some chicken and ribs, I just threw on some sweat pants, the nearest T-Shirt I could grab, and threw on a set of sandals to go pick it up.  Granted, I don’t and didn’t look exactly stellar today; but as I said, I’m still recuperating and just wanted to pick up a quick bite to eat.  I shouldn’t have to worry too much about criticism of my attire when picking up an order of chicken and ribs from a mid to low level chain restaurant.

I just got back from Swiss Chalet after an interesting little exchange.

I walk in the door, and the place is pretty dead.  The “hostess” is standing there yapping with two waitresses or whatever the hell they were as I walked up to her little podium.  They started giggling.  Not the nice kind of giggling.  The “eyes rolling” kind of giggling.

I wasn’t in the mood to suffer fools at all, and I think my handlebar mustache was probably twitching a bit.

Anyway, I just said “I placed an order for Mr._______, phone number 403-XXX-XXXX”

This stupid, over sized hostess continues to giggle with her friends and actually says:

“Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice shoes” with some rolling eyes and a stupid f~~~ing little condescending grin.

Again, being in the mood that I am in, it took a bit to register that this wench was actually addressing a customer in that manner.  Hell, had she been joking in an even civilized way, I’d have let it pass.  Not in the mood today at all.

I stared her straight in the eye for a good ten seconds without saying anything, raising my J. Nicholson eyebrows, and their moronic little grins slowly began to slide off of their faces; I’m pretty sure there was a discernible dark cloud forming over my head.  I don’t lose my cool very often, but it just came out of my mouth:

“I can go home and change my shoes, but you’ll always be a fat ugly c~~~”.

I’ve never seen blood rush into three faces so quickly in my life.  Their mouths gaped open and they were clearly trying to manage a response.

Before they could muster one I added: “DO YOU WANT TO TROT YOUR FAT F~~~ING AAAASSSSS INTO THE BAAAACK AND GETTTTT MEE MY CHIIICKEN???” in a pretty loud and drawn out voice.

The hostess, now obviously insane with contempt and not creative enough to come up with anything just pointed her finger at the door and managed this strangled “Get out!”.  It sort of sounded like “Gaaayyyyyyyoooowwwwwwwwww” whispered through a mouthful of coleslaw.

“WOW.  Fat, ugly, bitchy AND a speech impediment.  You’re f~~~ing prime rib, baby!  Quit flapping your big f~~~ing fence-board teeth and go get my order you t~~~.”

The other two were just staring, and one of them managed an “Oh-mi-godd” out of the gaping yaw in the ass that she called a face.

At this point, “hostess with the mostest” was pretty much transforming into a pathetic, shaking, heaving wreck.  Could pretty much see the pain and insecurity resounding through her Stay-Puft rolls of fat.  I knew I wouldn’t be served or bother getting my order now, as it was going to be spit in, or god knows what else, so I turned on my heel, and fired off a “Have a nice day, C~~~warmer”, and left.  Ended up grabbing a couple of cheeseburgers across the street at Wendy’s.

Anyway, I’m tired of being tolerant with the verbal stupidity and crass attitude that is modern women.  They routinely feel entitled to it, and feel protected from any sort of opposite reaction.  Time to really start hurting them with words.  Let’s face it, it’s something they feel utterly defenseless against.  Hell, they even started that campaign to “Ban the Word “Bossy”” not long ago so that they could be so incredibly lazy as to not even have to verbally defend themselves.  They can’t even emotionally endure being called “Bossy”, yet they are routinely firing out insults to people who actually pay their salary.  I think I’m a little oversensitive about it due to a recent piece of legislation passed in a town not far from here, whereby it’s punishable to swear in public or gather in groups of more than two. Yes…..two.  Taber, Alberta, Canada.  I’ll post about that debacle a little later.

I say we start posting online blacklisting reviews and fellow warnings about places like this on the net at third party sites when we experience rudeness from entitled wenches at the service level.  I’m going to do so right after this post for that particular Swiss Chalet.  Let’s start hitting them where it hurts; in the proprietary meat curtains.

Please share some of your snappy comebacks or experiences ; I’m sure many of you have some that are far classier than my little diatribe, but it was the best I could pull off at the time. I’d love to hear ’em.

Cheers.

Me: “God gave men the urges, and women the answers, if you don’t like it, arrange a meeting with him.”

Woman: We should hangout?

Me: “All talk and no play, makes me a dull boy.”

Woman: I’m not like other girls!

Me: “Show me.” (A s~~~ test they always fail)

Those are my top three.

Cheers!

Cheers.

“You should really stop oinking when you talk, it is very rude and unprofessional.”

“You should spit the cum out of your mouth before you talk, it is very rude and unprofessional.”

“That color doesn’t suit you, it makes you look 400lbs instead of 300.”

“Am I charged extra for the bulls~~~?”

“Want to hear a funny joke?  Women’s rights.”

“I understand you are under stress.  Providing for your grandchildren, must be difficult.”

“Congratulations on your pregnancy.”

“I cannot understand you, the rolls of fat on your neck muffle your voice.”

“I forgot to place an order of “kiss my ass”.  Will you ring that up sweat heart?  Oh, and can I have an extra side of “go f~~~ yourself”.

“You must have swallowed a lot of semen to get that fat.  How many cats do you have?”

When she hands you your food, grab it quickly and look it over.  Then say: “Good, I thought you would have ate half of it before it got here.”

“Shhh!  Can you here that?  It is your shoes.  They are gasping “Help me…help me….”

“You are cute and funny.  Want to go out sometime?  I know this place that has a nice pig trough you might like.”

Or a simple:  “Shut the f~~~ up and give me my food.”

Any one of the above could have sufficed.

First, I hope you have a speedy recovery!

Second, Should we tell women that we are, “Manning up,” now?

Many great ones in there, some of which I’ve heard, many of which I’ve not.  Thanks for adding them to the repertoire, Sir Knight.

@bb83

Indeed.  It is after all what they were desiring. 😀 and thank you sir, am doing well.

btw: Feel free to add real life experiences and comebacks, not just for this given situation.  I think most of us are always in the mood to feel some good old fashioned Feminists writhing in agony at not having a voice.

Willy that is an awesome story and I want permission to write the screenplay. We should seriously film that scene next time we are in Toronto. John Williams can compose the score. But to get perfectly serious, YES women in the service industry these days are the most miserable , rude and incompetent t~~~s anyone has seen in the business.

There’s a Starbucks I am trying to forget, on the corner of Highland and C~~~ in Los Angeles. This obese African-American slag asked me that usual f~~~ing womanly question: “with room?”.

“Yes with room for whole milk”.

Your “Name”??

Now she’s holding the cup and a felt marker looking at me EXACTLY like this:

….. but you need to imagine her fat and black.

So I have some fun with her and pick a celeb name for fun:

“Michael Jackson”.

Pause for a moment. Sometimes I say George Clooney. Sometimes Jay Z (I’m white). Sometimes Tom Cruise. And sometimes I say “Oprah”. Whatever comes to mind really. This always freaks people out. They call out me drink “VENTI AMERICANO FOR OPRAH!!!”, and everybody looks around like Oprah is there, and I just pick up her coffee and walk out laughing to myself. But this bitch had Not even a smile, or witty retort or nothing.

“Whassamatter. Is it because I’m WHITE??”.

That snapped her out of it. So I asked for whole milk at the cash, but now a brand new c~~~-butt-slag at the machine didn’t put milk in it.

“May I have some whole milk please? There’s none on the counter”.

“YOU DIDN”T ASK FOR WHOLE MILK!!!!!

“YES I F~~~ING DID. Ask that miserable girl over there. Not my problem she didn’t relay the message. And PS, the only acceptable response when a customer asks for whole milk is CERTAINLY SIR. Not YOU DIDN”T ASK FOR WHOLE MILK!!!!! Don’t be a bitch”.

I over-emphasized the same loud and nagging tone so that EVERYONE could hear it. The entire coffee shop stopped. In this moment, you would think anyone with a modicum of professionalism would offer SOME form of withdrawal. But she adjusted her stance as only Americ~~~s are capable of, held up that goddam index finger, started to move her head from side-to-side, and was about to start lecturing. So I stopped her before she could

“DON’T. You should be FIRED. and HOMELESS.”

Everyone heard it – including the manager. And then I left.

PS. She doesn’t work there anymore.

Nonsense like this is why I avoid the “hospitality” industry in general. One is perfectly capable of cooking one’s own food, and there is no reason to have intermediaries, many of them female, between one’s food and one’s self.

That’s exactly my thinking. I always thougt that I was queer for avoiding this establishments. And I got to admit, that I sometimes felt like an old fart visiting them when I was with people and going against my own code.  Went to a Starbucks with a 20-ish woman once and she ordered a Pumpkin-Spice-Latte (Bitch-Drink #1 btw) and I was just …. really disgusted.

By the way: I really think that there’s a connection between Pumpkin-Spice-Latte and lunatic-skanky-wasteofskin-type of girls. Someone really should make a study about that.

That is a hilarious story, and I wasn’t expecting the Dicaprio meme at the end.  I am crying here man…….the “You should be fired and homeless” part is going to have me every time I visit a coffee shop. hahahaha.  By all means Sir; a screenplay sounds like a fine idea.  John Williams couldn’t compose a bad score if he tried, so I think that would be a stroke of brilliance.  After reading your story, I popped over to IMDB to read a bit about Mr. Williams as it’s been a while since I’ve watched some of my favourite movies with his scores in the background.  Amazing.  Over 41 Oscar nominations alone.  His list of scores is just phenomenal.  I HAVE to remember your exchange the next time I’m in a Starbucks.  That’s classic.

@Cipher.

Yes, I hear ya.  I’m not a massive patron of “eating out”, but I do enjoy the food from certain places from time to time.  I usually prefer anywhere that has a drive-through to make it relatively painless (except that I don’t think there are any drive throughs left in existence which can get an order correct).  Plus I like to go out for a really good steak at a proper steak house occasionally.