We had enough money saved to live on for a few years, if it took that long to get back to work (it took 1 year).  It was her last semester of college.  She was graduating summa in finance.  Her dad and step-mom worked in finance in the oil industry.  I had paid her way through, and she graduated without any debt.  We had a great looking future.

Forward SEVEN DAYS and TEN HOURS after I was laid off.  March 10, 2009.  We went to dinner and had a few drinks.  We came home and paid the babysitter to leave, she was wearing a black dress, heels, diamond pendant, etc.  She tiptoe kissed me when the door shut.  Then, mid-kiss, she pulled away.  I guess she was caught up in the moment.  This is where I begin quoting her word for word.  She said “We have to talk.”  I said, “OK, whatsup?”  She said “I’m gay.” I said, “What?” She said “I’m gay.”  I just looked at her.  Then she said the words I’ll never forget.  “I don’t love you anymore, and I haven’t loved you for a long time.  The only reason I’ve been with you this long is because of the money.  Now that’s gone, there’s no reason for me to stay.”  I just looked at her, thinking ‘what?’.  She picked up her keys and purse, and walked out the door.  She came back the next day to get our daughter.

She had been cheating on me while I travelled.  She was sucking internet pussy while I was away.  Turns out that internet lesbians don’t think too much of married women cheating on their hubbies with them.  They want relationships, not flings.  I was severely limiting her options.  So when the money stopped, so did she.

I am the one to blame here.  I shouldn’t have married her.  I married her, and I got what I deserved.  Now I am glad she is gone.  I miss my family, but I don’t miss her.  I just see the life we could have had as a family, the life I could have given my daughter, and that’s what really kills me.

It turns out that she is not really gay.  She followed the ‘L-Word’ fad straight onto the internet, then when the show was cancelled, and she wasn’t into chicks anymore, she hopped back onto the same dick carousel on which I found her.  Like I said, it was my fault.  I was naïve.

Maybe if I had known of Briffault’s Law I wouldn’t have had the vasectomy.  Perhaps I would have let her incur debt.  Perhaps I would have seen the signs.  Hindsight, eh?

Hindsight also tells me that I am a better man now than I was then.  When I went back to work, my grandmother asked me if she would take me back now that I have a job.  I looked straight at my grandmother, who is a very traditional christian woman, and said, “Grandma, I wanted a wife. Not a whore.”

I married a whore.

I want to start by saying that I realize I was a huge blue pill mangina white knight so please don’t hold that against me now.

Unfortunately in my case I cannot talk about the divorce independent from the rest of the relationship because it is all tied together from the beginning. I met her in High School and she was actually my first Girlfriend as well. Looking back on it I see all the signs I could have ever asked for but was too stupid “In Love” and uneducated in the ways of women to ever know how stupid I was. Firstly I was dating down on the social ladder as expected and she was dating up. Not that I come from money or anything but her mother was constantly on welfare and section 8 etc so when you are at the bottom it does not take much to be a large step up.

I had been told tales that she had been raped earlier on in life etc, and while we were dating before we ever started having sex she screwed another guy and I forgave her. Like I said stupid, anyway after a series of things that should have driven me away but didn’t she got pregnant. I was 22 at the time and was still a foolish blue pill. I asked her to marry me and we did get married. For the first 2 years everything seemed pretty great and I actually did enjoy being married though it was through the lens of the blue pill. Then she got pregnant again and by this time we were starting to have some problems but I did not know how far they had gone. After our second child came she claimed depression and said that she needed her space. She was working overnight at a Hotel and had virtually nothing to do with our second son.

This went on for about a year and things were not getting better, we were fighting and she was never home and never kept any commitments she made to me. We even had one fight where she “caught” me watching pornography which had never been a problem before and threatened to take the kids and leave. She told me that the courts would side with her no matter what because she was the woman. I begged her to stay and promised to change and she stayed for a while but eventually said that she needed her space and got an apartment and strung me along telling me that it would be best for our relationship. She took all the things she cared about to the apartment which I noticed did not include the things she had professed to care about prior to our marriage but was almost exclusively things she had supposedly bought me as gifts.

I had kept the children that night while she moved but she was supposed to come pick them up the next day so I could go to work. Naturally she did not make it and so I went to the apartment and got a key from the front desk as I had cosigned for it. As you might expect she was in bed with another man and I simply stood there what felt like forever while I contemplated whether or not I could murder them both and not get caught. In the end I decided I could not get away with it and woke her up, we had a heated conversation and I left with the children. She picked them up much later that day and kept them except for when she had to go in to work when I watched them. She expected me to be a baby sitter any time she wanted even if she did not let me know she would need me to watch them and even that caused a fight when one night that I had not had notice I would need to keep them I got a very p~~~ed off voicemail because “I was not helping at all.”

During this time I found out later she was out at all times and our kids were watched by random people. One day she tells me with about 3 days notice that she is flying to Oregon and that I will have to keep the kids because she is going there looking for a job. As far as I can figure she went there to be on her back for some guy she knew. This actually turned out to be a blessing for me. I was not making enough at the time to completely cover the cost of daycare and my parents both still worked so its not like I had anyone who could watch them all days of the week. I went to the local DHS and got on the daycare assistance program one of the stipulations being that I file for child support against her. As a side note I will mention that when I was sitting in the office with the dhs worker he ended up asking me about 3 times if I was only applying for the daycare assistance since in his words “I never get to do one of these independent from food stamps/wic/medical etc.”

She came back from Oregon with no job and mounting debt and lost the apartment. Around this time she also got fired for what I later found out was embezzlement and could not pay for her court costs and wound up with a bench warrant. We spent a year or so in a temporary divorce order and she apparently realized that she was failing even with the constant stream of people she was bilking of cash and appeared to be getting her life together. It was during this time that she started trying to repair her relationship with me and again all I can say is that I was a stupid blue pill because I let her do so. I let her move back with me and we stabilized her finances, and she got and held a job at a bar working nights which did not help the situation but for about 5 months things were seeming to go well. The old pattern of disappearing and never being reachable started showing up and she was never around for me at all again. A couple of months later I pretty much told her to get out and set a date for the finalized divorce hearing.

I told the lawyer to go for broke and ask for everything and give her as little as legally possible. On the court date she did not show up and I am guessing it had something to do with the bench warrant. The child support order that I had gotten against her was still in effect and became part of our divorce decree, I got full custody. She saw the kids for a while but I finally told her that unless the assholes she hangs around with were not with her she would not see them and she chose those assholes over her own children. She continues to fail at life and I am more than happy to leave her in the dust.

Well I think this is the most complete account I have given of my relations~~~ to date with anyone other than close friends.

I have a buddy in Denver with a similar situation.  She just completely went off the cliff into a life of self-destruction.  its so sad to see it happen to another family.

thanks for sharing your story, I hope sharing it was as therapeutic for you as it was for me to share mine.  hang tough dude, its a long row to hoe, but remember, you are cultivating 2 of the most important people who will ever live.  to that end, and if you haven’t yet, it is wise to take a parenting class, read about effective methods, and learn what to avoid.  I recommend ahaparenting.com to start.  they really helped me become a better dad.  (I’m not affiliated, and unsure if it’s ok to ‘plug’ a site here).

This was several years ago now and I had been moving toward full red pill for about the last year (It took almost 3 years to quit being p~~~ed about it) and once I found this place it just clicked into place. I can say that was definitely when I finally released the last of the anger and pain because the world finally made sense. I figured out that probably the biggest reason for my anger and pain was that I had been trying to believe the lies about the world instead of believing what I knew to be true. As Terry Goodkind puts it “People will believe a lie because they want it to be true or they fear it to be true” and I really wanted the world that I was told existed to be true.

I can say that I do not talk my ex-wife down to my children though recently my youngest has started asking why he does not see his mother and all I can tell him is that she has made a choice. I will definitely check the site out. Thanks.