MGTOWDaughter – MGTOW

Daughter

Squatch — Tue, 06 Jan 2015 00:00:29 +0000

My ex is giving birth to my daughter tomorrow, I’m scared f~~~less as to what I’m going to do, so gentlemen, I ask for your collective knowledge and help in how to handle this.
We aren’t married, and I live in Minnesota, and I live about 300 miles away from her.
It’s not that I want to avoid the child completely, it’s that I don’t want to get reamed by the family courts, and end up homeless a second time, I just started getting my life back on track.

Reply To: Daughter

Krab_Ass — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 03:33:18 +0000

Well Sir – that is a tough situation indeed. I will answer you based on my experience with my two kids (who are my world). I know things are scary for you now, but, if I were you I would do everything I could to raise her to the best of my ability. You may have to move closer to help with school, doctor visits, sick time…etc…etc.. I know this probably is not what you want to hear but parenting is something you don’t get a re-do on. I can only hope that your ex will be a good mother (if she isn’t then you will have to fill that gap as well I am afraid).

In my experience, parenting is the toughest job I have ever had – but it is also the most rewarding. It is true – when you are a parent you put A LOT of things on hold (in your own life). Your daughter needs you. Be there for her.

Take Care.

(OK MGTOW group – I am ready for your slings and arrows now! – Bring it friends!)

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

Reply To: Daughter

BrainPilot — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 05:12:06 +0000

It is true that as the father you have some obligations, and unfortunately, no so many rights. But if you were married, you’d have a lot less rights and options than what you’ve got now. The marriage contract is the worst thing that could be part of the equation right now, but it sounds like you’ve already taken care of that (you referred to her as ‘ex’). With that being said, there seems to be nothing about being single/divorced that will stop you from being a good father. Lots of men who couldn’t take the nightmare of a marriage are still very good fathers to their kids. You can be one of those. I have no kids, but the vast majority of men I’ve spoken to who have kids say that they are more than worth every effort and sacrifice that they require (unlike some of their mothers).

Don’t worry so much about the family courts. They might not be as fair as they should be to you and to other men, but neither the court nor your ex has a replacement for you. There is no one else who is going to step up to be a father here… so you have value, and you are not expendable. If you had a good father, follow his example the best that you can. If you didn’t, be the example of a man in your kid’s life that a son can either grow up to emulate, or that the daughter can grow up to use a standard of measure that anyone who wants to marry her should be ready to live up to.

As angry at you as your ex might be, neither she or the courts have anyone else to fill this role. You don’t have to do it perfectly, but it’s worth doing it as well as you possibly can. A study of older couples who’d been married for decades found that people (men and women) looked back on their marriages as something that took from them more than it provided them back. But the same couples also said that being a parent provided back to them way more than it what it required of them. These are people in their 60s and 70s with decades of experience and hindsight saying this about parenting.

Remember that you have irreplaceable value here. Your role, and your child support is not available from any other source but you. The court may threaten you with jail if you don’t even try, but as long as you at least show effort, then both the court and your ex will have to acknowledge that if they make good on any threat to jail you, then they will be getting zero from you.

Whatever effort you make, or are required to make on behalf of your child, everyone who has made that effort before says it’s way more than worth it.

Keep up posted here…

Your experience also has value to other members here.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

Reply To: Daughter

Krab_Ass — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 01:12:04 +0000

Well said.

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt