MGTOWBack at home – MGTOW

Back at home

harpo-my-"SON" — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:33:51 +0000

Hey men I have had a few days to think about how free I am in reality. I need to have a long talk with my younger brother who called me everyday when I lived in Oklahoma asking that I return to my hometown and help him take care of our elderly mother.She has dementia. (first stages of Alzheimer’s)Part of the task was to insure our middle sister who is also disabled did not put our mom into nursing-home..My sis has suggested that more than once..She has also attempted to get all my mothers property changed into her name, effectively cutting her two brothers out of any inheritance..
My brother is the youngest and upon my moving back he promptly moved out..Dealing with the situation on a daily basis was to much for him..I could tell his nerves were shot even over the phone, before I arrived..
Many traditional thanksgiving turkeys were deep fried in the backyard of this house. All the male members of the family would gather there and drink beer, whiskey and we would pitch horse shoes..Now my brother and I are the only ones left to keep this tradition..The male cousins don’t gather here now that our uncles are dead..

I could leave anytime but that puts my mother at the mercy of my very conniving sister..My mothers estate is now a right of survivor-ship. The child last standing gets everything..
My mother expressed that she does not want my sister’s son and his family living here..This is something my sister has tried to make happen..
For now I will stay and do whats necessary. I have been working out of town a few days and will leave again this week end..I come and go as I please and could take as long a leave as I would like..even dump all responsibilities I feel for these two women,but they are disabled and both past hitting the wall…
My brother can’t deal with staying here for two reasons..1 having to watch our mothers mental state worsen on a daily basis.2 My sister asks a lot of favors and uses shaming tactics. Its easy for a kidney patient to play victim..I have no problem telling Sis to get bent..Sis brought a puppy home two weeks ago..I have done more feeding of this dog than she has.She tried to shame me over doing some dishes today.I told her to feed her own damn dog.I just had to vent a bit..

I hope me living this way don’t cause you men to think less of me,but someone has to keep this bitch of a sister in check. I am the man to do it, and maybe I can shove some red pills down little brothers throat while I am here..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

Reply To: Back at home

experienced — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 18:57:19 +0000

Harpomason, here are some ideas that hopefully help: Ben Franklin used to advocate writing down all aspects of a problem as soon as they come to mind, on a sheet of paper. This is to “just get them down” on paper the very second you think of them. Later on, you can cut the paper into strips and arrange/weigh them algebraically IAW their degree of importance. JP Morgan once said, there’s two reasons people do things, the good reason and the real reason. Therefore with regard to your sister’s new dog, tell her that if one day goes by (two?), and she has not fed the dog, you’re taking the dog to the ASPCA. Then do it. The dog is an attempt by sis to mark her territory. Look for ALL sis’s disparities between authority and responsibility. If you review hard and thoroughly the ever growing list regarding the whole situation, and do it right at bedtime, there’s a pretty good chance that [[you’ll get a headache and nightmares and say, eff experienced and the horse he rode in on…………..hopefully not]] within a night or two, you’ll awaken mid-nite or the next day and have some useful insights come your way. Write them down. I read about some sort of extreme genius that employed this regularly. Another one is to review that still growing sheet of paper before you do your masonry, as long as you don’t let it distract you, ideas often pop into mind while you’re hard at work on something else.

Get enough sleep, stress often strips men of this, and you need sleep to think clearly, so does your brother.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but cuts both ways. So find the local pit bull SOB lawyer, pay him a couple hundred see him about this. This’ll prevent sis from using the same SOB due to the law, and he should be able to within that one hour, cut through the BS regarding what’s important and not, and how to most effectively deal with it. Have specific questions ready, and be ready to take notes. Maybe do this visit solo as your brother might be tempted to ask emotional questions and attornies love to run the clock up to increase billing and or answer non productive easy questions at the same rate as tough ones. If finances prevent this preemptive visit, then probably thoroughly web searching may help.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

Reply To: Back at home

hmskl'd — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 19:31:42 +0000

I can begin to understand what you’re going through. I am primary caregiver for my elderly Dad who still lives at home but needs to be checked on daily. Along with my full time daily occupation (and sometimes working weekends); I have to do all his grocery shopping; do all the laundry a couple of times a week and make sure his house is kept orderly and clean. I monitor that he is getting a well balanced diet and sometimes cook his evening meals. He lives on a 40 acre hobby farm with a small barn and several outbuildings including an antique two story log cabin. (which needs lots of care and maintenance) We don’t want to sell the farm because it’s a beautiful little place and we’d never find another like it. All of the buildings need care and attention so all of my vacation and weekend time this summer will be spent painting, doing light carpentry and landscaping on his farm. It also takes me about six hours per week during the peak of the summer to keep his place mowed and trimmed. Might have to hire that out at some point – soon. I sometimes stay in his guest room if it gets too late; other times I just stop by and return to my own place after checking on him. He can do basic cooking but on weekends I usually cook/bake for him. I don’t mean to complain, but it’s exhausting; my sister and her family live hundreds of miles away and really can’t visit that often. We have no other alternative right now except to eventually phase in some outside daily caregivers. That might certainly give me some additional freedom but it will undoubtedly be very expensive. We put his farm (at his request) into an irrevocable trust so there will be some basic protections after a couple of more years. Having parents who are getting older and need daily assistance is not easy … and for the next few years there won’t be much free time.

Reply To: Back at home

harpo-my-"SON" — Sat, 04 Apr 2015 08:45:17 +0000

Experienced Thanks for the reply Sjur your support and understanding also.. I have had little time for the forums since posting this because of me getting gainful work and my computer problems..The dog situation has come to a head already as My Sister is taking it to her daughters house. She will be gone a week..She is part time here anyways, runs off once a month to do nothing for her grown son, and his family…She feels she is doing him some good though…Over my desk here at the computer Is a big white piece of plywood covering a window on what used to be the back of the house before this room was added…I have taken to making a check mark on it for every favor that’s asked of me here and its adding up fast…just so the next time its said to me we don’t ask much of you, I will have this to point at…I can excuse my mother as she has a mental illness But My sister knows what the board is for and what the marks indicate..She is already figured out that I will not put up with outright lies to my face about such matters…Men have no problem helping and being useful. but to say later they never asked much of you is a slap in the face and negates every thank you they offered at the time…The legal maters are taken care of…for the 3rd time.. every-time the right of survivor-ship was done and my Mothers mind at ease…My sister would talk her into changing it..Now the law-firm that handles my Mothers affairs will not do anything without a call…I have no sentimental attachment to this house and could care less who ended up with it…I do Want to honor my mothers wishes about these matters because she should not have to worry at this stage of her life…My sisters health problems are what makes her desperate about gaining control here, I believe..She can’t see herself outliving her two brothers…I have dealt with this matter every winter for the past 8 years, but always returned to Oklahoma in the spring to work and be closer to my daughter..Now that My girl is in college I am staying here for now…I do have free time as my mother is not helpless and takes care of her own needs..I only remind her of medications, and meals…physically my 72 year old Mother is more able than my 50 year old sister.

Thanks again for the replies men. I will get away this summer from this situation for as long as I can afford. Just needed to vent…