MGTOWAre you ever sick of it all? – MGTOW

Are you ever sick of it all?

flightspace — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 18:05:57 +0000

I’m sick of everything, the people in this world, the choices i have, the hand i was dealt. i spent the last few years of my childhood in an unconstitutional private prison, paid for by my sociopath father operating on the will of my manipulative martyr of a mother who literally had me kidnapped and tortured and then had the nerve to guilt trip me about not wanting to sit in some theater and watch some chick flicks with her on my one day of freedom before she threw me in another. I never did anything to deserve it, i was never a criminal like my brother, i never robbed a kmart like he did, i didn’t even smoke weed until college, my father was just physically abusive, my mothers was emotionally abusive and my brothers used me as a scapegoat for their troublemaking, treated me like i was somehow mentally ill for reacting to any of that bulls~~~ with the slightest bit of anger. Every time i reacted they’d bring up and exaggerate some temper tantrum i threw when i was 7, to the point where it wasn’t even events they were remembering correctly, my father doesn’t even remember choking me on christmas when i found out where he hid the christmas presents and he strangled me until i promised not to tell my brothers, but he does remember the time i pushed my brother for basically trying to have weird annoying foreplay with my ear. Except he doesn’t remember a damn thing that my brother did. They literally force me to live in the wilderness for like a year, and then they threw me into what was basically a privatized concentration camp, and i barely escape there alive because going your own way inside can be a death sentence, and if it isn’t the violence that gets you, its the stress. In fact the only reason i survived that level of PTSD is because after my face started swelling up and i was getting rashes from the stress, after weeks of pleading them they finally took me to a doctor who prescribed me a steroid so my entire immune system wouldn’t turn on itself and my kidneys would shut down.

And after all that you can bet i was dead set on getting the hell away from my family after that, i moved to the opposite end of california, enrolled in college, but my father made damn well sure that i had no ability to find a job, get a car, or get into a decent school because he pulled me out of my first and only full time job and drivers ed in a college accredited public school to basically taking mediocre independent studies behind bars, because he has this sick idea he can condition me to some kind of abusive codependence and the f~~~ed up part is he’s right. He’s the only reason i’m in this situation, but without his money, i’d be homeless. And to make matters worse a good friend of mine who used to work with him convinced me to trust him to pay my tuition when i know its just a lie to screw me over worse for fun and another good friend of mine convinced me to trust a different campus of a school that had already suspended and threatened to expel me based on lies a feminist said about me and reassured me that having my degree would prove to employers that i show “commitment and persistence”, and that that was most important to them (still unemployed months later). Of course, neither of these things worked out for me because my father screwed me over, forcing me to scramble to file myself as a “non-dependent” so i could take out student loans to pay for the classes i had already taken, that he refused to pay for because of a form i’d already filed weeks ago, blaming me for not having omnicient and ever present control over a piece of paper that had already left my hands of which i could do nothing about… And of course, THAT resulted in the incompetent financial aid office being literally an entire fiscal year late to file my student loans, which they didn’t fix, didn’t notify me about, and avoided my calls worse than some ex girlfriends when i tried to contact them about it. And of course the entire thing culminated in 15 grand that i owe to the government in student loans, and another 12 thousand in cash my school says i owe them because THEY f~~~ed up, only not on student loans–no, they want that money NOW. or its going to affect my credit. which will eventually leave me homeless. and they turned down my appeal. oh, and not only that, but they failed to notify me when i would even be graduating, and eventually got around to it so late that i had to pick my cap and gown up from a warehouse that i cant even get to because i dont have a car, and even though i ordered a cap and gown THAT DAY with 1 day shipping on amazon its still going to be until friday until it gets here, which is a DAY AFTER my graduation. Which means i’ll have to wait another 6 months for that. Oh, and last but not least, the unconstitutional private prisons i’m suing for imprisonment slavery and child abuse have somehow managed to escape prosecution by literally doing NOTHING. Years of fighting them in court, and the judge just drops the case, out of knowwhere. Which also happened to another one of my lawyers cases even after a judge said he would, so on top of all the rest of my problems my lawyer thinks we have some kind of corrupt cabal of judges to fight against, and we now have to refile the cases in california and start all over.

Oh and thats not even the women part. But you guys already know about all that.

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

ILiveAgain — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 18:26:51 +0000

Hey flight … I would say .. how you doing .. but 😕

Something triggered you today. Wanna talk about it? or has it just all boiled up?

The s~~~ load from your ‘potential’ past life is an inhuman weight to carry … and that’s why I’m going to say this …

You must find a way … a mechanism .. to let all that s~~~ go.

I’m not saying forget it …. you can’t … but unhook it from your soul. Because you are letting them f~~~ you up from afar. Don’t let them do that.

I had around 10 years of that and all it did was cast shadows around me.

Once I let go the sun started shining again.

If you keep yourself hooked in …. you will relive over and over and over.

F~~~ them Flight … f~~~ them off.

It’s just a lever in your head … pull it. ☺

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

flightspace — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 19:13:15 +0000

Well if i deal with this situation wrong there are consequences. That may affect the rest of my life and cause me to live through even more unliveable burdens. I know people who have been imprisoned by those places and they’re still having nightmares after a decade. This kind of PTSD isn’t something you easily outgrow. Not without family i dont have, friends who are more present, and support networks that aren’t extended to me. And the friends i do have mislead me, even the good intentioned ones. Their optimism is never my solution and i always wish it could be. But i’m not getting anything from websites like this either. I see that people come here because they have nowhere else to vent their negativity, but i’m just trying to escape mine, not take on yours. Which is crap because i don’t think its too much to ask i just can’t accommodate anyone elses baggage right now. Art or music doesn’t do it for me anymore, weed ceases to make me apathetic, i only worry because my life is on the line and everyone keeps telling me i’m being the negative one. I’d give anything for a way out. One way out. I want to go live in a forest, or a deserted beach somewhere, but land costs money i dont have. Its like every road leads back to the same place, pure unfiltered crap.

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

flightspace — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 19:16:52 +0000

But yeah its not even one trigger, its every day with this crap, every day something new. the camels back has been broken a while but they still keep piling straw on. I honestly don’t even know how im alive with how the stress is taking its toll on my body but i sometimes wonder if i’m going to die like this. if this will be the greatest i ever achieve

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

Knights Templar Rising — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 19:32:51 +0000

I have PTSD from a messed up childhood too, although it sounds like you have been through way more than me.

The PTSD is going to be a battle your whole life. If you have not sought counseling, and possibly meds, I suggest doing so – the sooner the better.

PTSD is definitely a situation that has a “hair trigger” response, it is tough to overcome. Unfortunately, from a psycho-babble perspective, the best advice I can give another man is “just let it go Jack, just let it go”. If you haven’t watched the series LOST, I highly recommend it; they are all tortured souls all of them have to come to the conclusion of “whatever happened, happened”, and notably there was a scene with Jack when someone says “just let it go, just let it go”.

That is the only way I can stay away from PTSD triggers, “just let it go”. Well that and a lot of Chronic, a lot of chronic!

Sovereignty above all else.

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

ILiveAgain — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 19:39:44 +0000

Even if you moved to a desert island … it wouldn’t solve the issues because they will travel with you.

Baggage ….. can be put down.

What do you think would happen if you just stopped?

I’m not being flippant. What would happen?

I have/had Compound PTSD. I won’t go in to why but suffice to say …. just like you … I reached a point where the whole of the world, society, family and friends were against me.

I can tell you this with 100% certainty …

The answer is within you and only you can find it.

There is nobody out here can get it for you. However, we can help you look, make suggestions that may help.

We want nothing from you. We do not want to take any of your remaing energy.

No … what WE want is to give whatever help we can …. no charge …. but just one debt.

‘When’ you’re out of the other side of this …. help some other guys.

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

flightspace — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 19:54:03 +0000

i dont know which is the hard part, letting it go or it not letting me go. i thought seeking justice would help me get closure. but seeing how corrupt our justice system has become feels like someone s~~~ting in your soul. i just want one day where its not my whole life, my future and everything on the line against impossible odds. i did see a therapist at one point, one who wasn’t owned by a corporation. but basically all he could say was damn, that sucks and prescribe me benzos. but talking to him wasn’t helping. reminding myself wasn’t helping. and i can’t run from it, god knows i try. its like that shins song, “every turn its this front and center, like a dot stuck square in your eye. every post you can hit your faith on is a pie in the sky, chock full of lies, to be devised to make sinking stones fly”. describes it exactly

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

Crazy Canuck — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 20:17:29 +0000

Sounds like you could use Shiatsu massage it is relaxing.
http://altmedicine.about.com/od/massage/a/shiatsu.htm

I suggest you read this book it can help many people. The ebook is only around 100 pages the book you buy will be the full version of the book.

http://www.amazon.com/Awaken-Giant-Within-Immediate-Emotional/dp/0671791540

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ebook/

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

ILiveAgain — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 20:22:10 +0000

Truth Law Justice

These 3 are completely different things.

Truth & Justice have been abducted and ‘hidden’ in the law.

You know … as we all do ….. man is disposable … we all know that.

Nobody give a s~~~ about us … NOBODY.

But at least we know where we stand.

Three times I was broken down and three times I had to get back up.

Courage? No …. Strength? No …. Honour? No … what made me get back up? ….

SPITE …. full on F~~~ YOU C~~~S.

There was nothing nice about it or me …. but that’s what I needed to do.

So f~~~ it all off … as KM said

“You can’t fall off the floor”

Press the button a blow them all up …. detach the hooks. Clear you mind … and …. F~~~ Them Off.

Don’t you dare do something stupid though ….. coz I for one am already invested

Ok?

Reply To: Are you ever sick of it all?

Knights Templar Rising — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 20:38:49 +0000

Benzos are s~~~, nothing but a sedative. Most PTSD guys will benefit from SSRIs, aka Zoloft etc. But you will want to see a specialist, to make sure there is not another “co-morbid” imbalance hiding in there too.

Sovereignty above all else.