Well I was told about this site by a friend who I was discussing philosophies and personal opinions about relationships and women.  He seems to think I would probably be considered an MGTOW kind of dude.  I’m yet to decide if I am to be honest and will spend a few days trawling (not trolling) the forums here to see if I feel like his is a place I can call an intellectual home.  So where do I start with the introduction?  Well I’m a 33 year old, metal head, christian and pacifist.  And would consider myself egalitarian more than anything.  I judge people based off their actions and intentions once I know them, otherwise I’m just shooting at shadows.

I call myself a born again A-sexual, though in truth I still have the general red blooded inclinations of my hetero past.  My A-sexuality is a position of choice.  Why?  Because it’s not worth the effort in my opinion.  Over my life I have been around the block a couple times, tried all kinds of things and come to the conclusion relationships and sex is often more energy, time and resource consuming than is worth the slender reward, often followed by bouts of regret and misery.  Cynical?  Perhaps, but there are only so many times a man can face the same results to an experiment and not call it for what it is.

I have found that in order to make relationships work we (or at least I) have to surrender and reinvent much of ourselves and our personal opinions, values, morals and desires in order to keep the peace.  And to be honest I got tired of feeling like a DIY project for my past partners who wanted to build me up (often by breaking me down) into what they feel is my “true potential”.   Being a metal head I have the usual packaged rebellion (John Bush quote) that comes with the scene and I balk at anyone telling me to dress a certain way, think a certain way or behave a certain way.  Though there have been times in my past where I felt self sacrifice for a roll in the hay was worth it, surely I am a more valid person if I can say “This is my girlfriend!”.  However over the years I came to realise that all the relationships I have had have been ruled and governed by a desire for social status, financial gain, idolatry and favours.  The problem is these are what were expected of me, not in turn for me.  Perhaps there is the chance that one day I could meet someone that was happy with who I am and expect no change, it’s a big world and there are a lot of people, though I am not going to hold my breath (my lungs are shot from smoking).  I feel it’s hard enough figuring out my own life let alone tiptoeing around another persons.  There is still a part of me that misses that fuzzy feeling you get when holding hands with a woman and all that oh so lovey dovey hollywood romanticism, but there is a much larger part of me that revolts at societies expectations of men needing a partner to validate their worth.  Success should not be measured by offspring, marriage or any other media influenced perception of what is normal and worthy of pursuit.  Success should only be judged by ourselves about ourselves.  No one has a right to call another a failure, as they can only judge by their own ideals for themselves and what they themselves are reaching for.  Money, relationships, careers, possessions, these things hold validity on variant levels depending on personal perspectives.

Anywhat, that’s my stance.

Cryptic

I think what all MGTOWs have in common is a refusal to surrender to the whims of others. Other than that, we’re a diverse group.

Speaking of diverse – if you haven’t found it yet, take a look at “Viva La Manosphere!” It collects links to a huge number of MGTOW sites.

Update: http://vivalamanosphere.com/ is the Link to Viva La Manosphere! From there, you will find a never ending supply of new sites to explore.

Cheers!

You think exactly like me.

This relationships cost way more than they should. It´s stupid if you just think about it. It doesn´t make any sense.
The more you think about it, the more worthless they will be.

We reached a point in life when we needed to ask ourselves: What do I really want?

If you know yourself most than other people know themselves the answer will come. And it will be obvious.

We (men) spend most of our lives trying to be what others expect of us, that is way there is so much unhappy people all over around the world. Society brainwashed us from the beginning of our lives trying to make us fit in the machine. We are conditioned to do the same as others. There are people who struggle to be what others expect of them, and those are the cases that end married, sad and incomplete, because they followed a path that wasn’t their own. No one in their life would want that if they just be willing to stop for a second and ask themselves that question I mentioned earlier.

But everything is planned. The system was made to make us feel incomplete, insecure, and lonely. But none of this is true. You just have to see beyond the lies that everyone live and you will understand (as you already do).

Women are just people. They are not special. They have flaws (much more than men) and society wants us to live for them. This won´t happen anymore, we have to decide for ourselves and deal with the consecuences. We will lose girlfriends, some male “friends” and some social events and relationships. But instead we will win freedom. Freedom to THINK other posibilities of life and ways to reach our own happiness.

I am 24 years old, and already feel more alive than ever. Because I don´t do what others want or tell me I “have” to do. We know that 90% of todays relationships are empty and stupid. People pursue things they don´t want just to feel accepted by people who are equally or more unhappy than them. It´s a neverending cycle. We need to break it.

This was more a rant than a reply to your post. But I wanted you to know that there are more people like you. Who understand what is really important.
Welcome again and sorry for my english.

That is quite a unique mix of characteristics you have. I always like seeing someone name themselves an egalitarian, it seems people do not use that label much anymore though. I too consider myself an egalitarian with a good helping of humanism thrown in. The only issue with this is I seem like the most wish washy type of person you could meet.

My A-sexuality is a position of choice.

I can not say I can agree with this though. I know a bit about asexuality and it does not involve choice. It is a sexuality that someone is born with and they can no more choose it then a homosexual can choose a hetero lifestyle. Society has a word for someone who chooses to abstain from their  own sexuality, and that is celibacy. The key difference between the two is that asexual people have no sex drive and those practicing celibacy choose to not act on their sex drive. There are more types of asexuality but they all share a similar core in the they have no sex drive.

Sorry if I sound like a a bit of a stickler it is just that alternate life style people and asexual people in particular get enough crap from society that they do not need people highjacking their movement.

@jambear It’s always good to meet another egalitarian, and I get what you mean by seemingly like a wishy washy person.  People often view an accepting nature as weak and unassertive for some reason.  And good intentions are often misjudged and taken advantage of.  I view myself as egalitarian as I tend to view the human race as one, regardless of sex and genetics.  We all have free will and the ability to think on a higher level.  We all deserve the right to life and to be able to do as we please, as long as it doesn’t interfere with another humans life and their ability to do as the please.  Live and let live is a simplistic way of summing it up.  I could go on for hours defining my views but that would probably be best left for a dedicated post.

As to the A-sexual point of contention, I get what you mean though I wouldn’t go so far as to say I am hijacking their movement per se.  Celibacy is one thing, though as the days roll on by I in fact find my sex drive ebbs away more and more.  It’s not simply a case of not wanting to be involved, but a case of any desire for sex (even natural reaction to stimulation) fades from my mind and body.  I assure you the term was not used to be insensitive nor to take away from those who are born without any sense of sexual drive, hence the term ‘born again’.  As I said, my sex drive fades and is replaced over time (though not yet completely) by indifference.  Celibacy just doesn’t seem to fit with how I feel.  It’s not simply a case of moral abstinence, more a case of sex is losing all interest for me and gets less controlling for me as time goes by, to the point of almost (if not entirely) non existence.

I appreciate your response, I know I came off as a bit of a douche. You make your introduction and one the posts is a some random guy saying no you wrong about this. Your reasoning is sound and logical in your application of the use of the term asexual, I see what you mean now.

Spot on about the deluge of crap on TV nowadays. I think this is why I have not had cable or satellite for the past 5 years. There is not point in paying for that useless s~~~.